To say that women look bloody weird ….

I blame social media/mobile phones to some extent.
People have become used to an airbrushed/filtered effect and want it in real life.
I am 52 and haven't had anything done (except botox in masseter muscles when I had severe TMJD). My hair is nearly all grey, but I am happy with how I look. I guess if I wasn't, maybe I would be tempted?
I don't know how people have the time to maintain a perfect appearance though (not to mention the money. I'd rather spend it on other things!)

Getting rid of chronic acne makes a fundamental difference to how anyone feels about themselves whether male or female. That, I can believe made a big difference to your appearance and how you feel about yourself.

From the people that I’ve seen who had nose jobs it made them feel very differently about themselves, but they didn’t look very different to anyone else though. With bleph and brow lifts most people don’t notice that either.

Plus circular bleph, a nose job, brow lift, deep fillers in the chin and cheeks, fat grafts in a few places, three years of roaccutane (I had antibiotic resistant cystic acne), and PCOS-fixing surgery. In my original comment I only listed the treatments people here kept pointing to as the "obvious fake look".
And you don't have to end up with that frozen, waxwork face from botox. You just need it done properly, by an actual plastic surgeon who studied facial anatomy for years, not someone with a beauty therapy certificate and a ring light. I'm quite sure most actresses and celebrities lauded here as "natural beauties" do have baby botox done. It restricts movement a little bit in the places that matter, but doesn't turn the face into a mask.

I have. I was bullied in the cruel 80s at school. I was Asian so the wrong colour too, so was never seen as attractive in my largely white school. I was also not allowed nice clothes due to strict parents, so own clothes days were hellish times of mockery. I had large teeth which affected my speech so a teacher laughed at me when I read something out. I had terrible haircuts too. I was the last to be picked for anything and was most definitely deemed ugly. Never once had a compliment from my parents so I assumed I was very unattractive. I worked v hard and was top of my year.

What was odd though was that I had a deep stream of inner confidence that one day it would be better.

I went to uni as far as possible from home. Bought myself nice clothes and got a decent hairstyle. Smiled a lot. Made friends with people who didn’t mind an unattractive friend. Grew in confidence despite my looks. Met my husband and have adult kids who are very attractive somehow.

I am in my fifties now. I am confident now. I never defined myself by my good looks (obviously!) so it’s my brains and academic abilities and social skills which have given me confidence. Maybe that’s why I have not been tempted to sort out my slightly odd features or inject myself.

I know what it’s like to be ugly. But I have tried to make the best of what I had. No regrets.

I agree with all this – it’s appalling and deeply misogynist.

Fear, fear of judgement can be deeply damaging. But I don’t think the answer is to distort your looks.

If more people took Pamela Anderson’s new line of going out in public looking normal for their age without a huge amount of make up. That would actually make a big difference.

I am yet to meet a person who looks better with Botox than without. It's an awful look.

I’ve had personal experience of women genuinely believing they looked ugly who weren’t. The only thing that really makes people genuinely unattractive is that personality and behaviour.

Can I ask you if you really think lash extensions and Botox etc is actually fundamentally going to change anyone’s face. Now I’ve seen the list of stuff that you’ve had done (which I missed) - it is minor tweakments, that’s all. I doubt anyone else notices any difference to your features (other than the frozen look of Botox)

Can I ask you if you have personal experience of being ugly?

It was really refreshing to see Alicia Silverstone in her Netflix Chrismas movie the other day.No work, normal body.Looked gorgeous.Made me realise how rare that is to see in movies/TV now.

It’s very sad that people think this look is attractive. I don’t know what the answer is OP. I find it misogynistic. But am sure those women who feel they want to do this to themselves will be very defensive about this view.

You never see naturally beautiful women on TV? Such a shame. How about you stop judging on people’s appearance and just accept others?

If women weren’t under such pressure to be “beautiful” then maybe they would be able to accept themselves.

It’s appalling how people (particularly women) get judged on appearances.

Signs of aging : she’s had a hard paper round
Signs of aesthetics: she should grow old gracefully.
Overweight : Oh she’s let herself go.

Lost weight: Oh she’s been on the skinny jabs.

Can’t win!

I assume that poster means I'm hiding the fact I'm about 20% plastic from the men I date. And yes, guilty as charged. I was married for nearly 5 years and my husband had zero idea.
I am open with my female friends though. Some of them date back to high school (so I couldn't hide changes from them, even if I tried), and they are genuinely thrilled about my journey.

No, I didn’t say you weren’t trying hard to be confident. It sounds like whatever intervention you had made you finally more confident about your appearance. All I’m saying is you don’t actually need to have treatment to develop confidence about your appearance. And objectively you probably don’t look that different to other people.

Yeah, anyone with a different opinion to you is a manz. Just checked in my panties if I´ve grown a knob, as I agree with the poster. Luckily, being 51, I am old enough to know fashion goes in circles (you were so right, mum) and this awful awful look will go and something else will take its place, let´s pray for something better.

Nobody cares what you think.

Go back and read the interaction again, a few pages back, it's explained there. If you still want more then quote this and I'll reply later (really need to get moving now, not avoiding). 😬

no one has ever clocked any of it.

This is very much unlikely to be true. I wouldn’t comment on anyone’s veneers but I would notice! People are just being polite.

Yes I think it's horrible looking.

It makes young women look middle aged or old. It makes middle aged women look masculine. There is nothing more beautiful in person's appearance than seeing expressions of joy or laughter spread across their face.

But I think there's more to it than just a matter of taste.

It is becoming the norm to wear weird masks on our faces, to make ourselves unrecognisable, to look individual and unique.

I don't want my daughter to think she has to look like somebody else. I want her to wear her own beautiful face forever. Don't all the other mums feel like that?

What do you actually mean by "own it" though? that poster was very honest about the fact she's had work done and she loved the results, how much more can she "own it"?

I fully own the fact I use and love botox - I LOVE BOTOX- is that owning it enough for you?

So you're suggesting I simply didn’t try hard enough to be confident, and that confidence alone was all I ever needed to be in a relationship? Do you think I maybe have have a better grasp of my lived experience than you do?

My confidence didn't suddenly appear the moment my looks changed. I was already educated, successful, respected in my field, surrounded by brilliant friends, active in my community, and hopefully overall a decent human being. I wasn't shy, I asked men out, and many of the men I approached back then are close friends today (and actually were kind enough to guide me with the "male gaze" with some of the changes I made - men are actually much more understanding about appearance insecurities that they are given credit for).

The only thing that changed was my appearance. Everything else was already there.

Ok, thanks for replying.

Quite apart from the impact on young women and even children. Girls are being targeted for products and treatments by the beauty industry, in a way that I find horrifying.

No, it wasn't a gotcha at all. It was a 'why pretend?', instead 'own it' (because most folk will realise that at least some of it is enhanced anyway). Pretending it's natural creates the illusion that we should all look like that.

Most look like clones, having the same work done.
Its also very aging makes lot look older instead of younger.

Its not a good look but it's not me having it.

I do think in a few year the dangers of all this filler skinny jabs and botox will come to light, some have are already talking about it and their experiences.
Most women just need to love themselves more.