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Original poster

Cringing at DDs behaviour, asking her to stop sending the videos to the family GC

146 replies

Reoile · 20/11/2025 17:26

We have a massive family group chat, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. It’s pretty active and it is used as a supplement to social media for the most part, so imagine a lot of the things people might share on social media but in the group chat.

My DD is 25, she’s recently started dating a guy who 30 and he earns incredibly well. As such DD is now getting spoiled. I cannot help but cringe at all the “look at my new Hermes bag” posts or her out on boat days just acting a bit of a fool, popping champagne in clubs etc. I appreciate she is happy but it just comes across very cringey.
I know the rest of the family feel the same, it’s also very much openly assumed that she will be using cocaine in her new found circle.

WIBU to tell her to maybe not send these into the group chat as whether it’s fair or not the family are judging?

OP posts:
SapphireSeptember · 21/11/2025 14:40

TFImBackIn · 20/11/2025 17:34

Ugh, this happened to a friend of mine who had a very generous and wealthy boyfriend. When he ended it (without much notice) he asked for everything back.

I hope she told him to get stuffed, as gifts belong to the recipient!

IAmTheLogLady · 21/11/2025 14:38

Hons123 · 20/11/2025 18:21

"a massive family group chat, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. It’s pretty active and it is used as a supplement to social media" - this is the problem. This is beyond embarrassing - are you all grown ups? She is a 25-year old food, brought up by attention-hungry adults, what is your excuse? This is your mode of living - your uncles, cousins, aunts, even grandparents - semblance, not substance. You and your environment taught her to live on social media, why are you surprised?

This is MN in all its glory.
Bravo 👏

IAmTheLogLady · 21/11/2025 14:36

ChachaIntheLongrun · 20/11/2025 18:05

tell the police!!!!

Show quote history

What?

Nige413 · 21/11/2025 14:34

Mum sounds a tad jealous tbh

Paganpentacle · 21/11/2025 14:28

IwishIhadcheese · 20/11/2025 19:18

This is your daughter??

I would be happy that my daughter is out enjoying life and love that she wants to share it with her family. My family would be happy too.

This.
You sound judgmental and jealous.

Itsahardlife321 · 21/11/2025 14:28

You and your family sound vile. Jealous much?? Be grateful she’s found happiness and having a good time…or watch her leave you all behind, when she realises you’re all jealous, judgemental narcissists…and as for the cocaine?! How stereotypical can you all be?! There are people who party in London “posh” clubs who don’t even drink, let alone do drugs?! Cocaine is very much done in your regular middle/lower class family suburban housing estate as much, if not more than done in “posh” London clubs. You’re all hateful, and it shows. Good luck to her, hope she marries him, has a fantastic life and loving kids that she can give the best to!

Emmz1510 · 21/11/2025 14:24

If you genuinely believe she is using coke (seems a bit of a leap to me but whatever) shouldn’t you be worried about her and focussing your attention on that and talking to her about her lifestyle rather than concerning yourself with what family think on a group chat? Instead your post sounds more demonising than worried, and I can’t believe you referred to your daughter as a fool. Nice.

Gmary22 · 21/11/2025 14:14

You dont need a weathy boyfriend to do cocain btw.

Ariel896 · 21/11/2025 05:00

You all sound like bitter berties tbh.

ASimpleLampoon · 20/11/2025 22:52

Good for her! Your poor DD having such a spiteful family.

Throwntothewolves · 20/11/2025 22:48

JLou08 · 20/11/2025 17:57

'I know the rest of the family feel the same, it’s also very much openly assumed that she will be using cocaine in her new found circle.'

Why do your family feel so comfortable talking about your DD like that to you? I couldn't imagine talking with my siblings/parents/cousins like this about the younger generation. We'd just be happy that they are happy. You and your family sound toxic. Your poor DD, family should have each other's back, especially their own children.

I agree. I think it's horrendous that the extended family are making these assumptions about OP's DD. And it's terrible that the OP is more bothered by her DD's 'cringy' pics than that massive slight on her character. Why aren't you bothered about that Reoile? And why aren't you seemingly bothered thar there's a possibility they're right and therefore concerned for your DD?

JustSawJohnny · 20/11/2025 22:15

It's a time and place thing for me.

I'm sure DD finds a lot of support for her posts on Insta and just assumes family will also receive it well.

If you think she's not actively showing off and doesn't realise it's not landing well on the family group then I'd defo give her a heads up.

I'd be really upset if my Mum knew family were slagging me off and she didn't tell me.

Jk987 · 20/11/2025 22:07

Good for her. You don’t like it because she’s branching out and it’s away from the family norms.

Franjipanl8r · 20/11/2025 21:46

Why’s it any different to any other family WhatsApp group?! There’s usually one family member or two living it up while the others aren’t. My in-laws are forever sending fancy holiday pics in the family chat. Others just make a joke or two to diffuse the awkwardness. It’s family life.

Tigergirl80 · 20/11/2025 21:35

Is she like this with her friends as well? Nobody likes a bragger.

Silverwinged · 20/11/2025 21:34

TFImBackIn · 20/11/2025 17:34

Ugh, this happened to a friend of mine who had a very generous and wealthy boyfriend. When he ended it (without much notice) he asked for everything back.

OMG! Did he end up giving it to the next girlfriend?

ThisBeTheVersePL · 20/11/2025 21:31

Peoplemakemedespair · 20/11/2025 17:34

They’re judging her doing lovely things with a nice partner? What sort of things do you normally post on the group chat? Maybe you could all try actually being happy for her?

Showing off your designer bag is not "doing lovely things" though, is it? It's just showing off.

RogueFemale · 20/11/2025 21:23

@Reoile I don't understand why you aren't just happy for DD, that she's having such a lovely time. Sure, it might not last, but why begrudge her for being happy and carefree. She's not a fool for enjoying herself as a young woman in her prime.

Yes, I can imagine there are many on the family group chap who resent her happiness. Not DD's fault.

stillawip · 20/11/2025 21:17

I definitely think you could say something like “Do just have a think about the things you’re posting on the group chat - remember that X and Y don’t have that much money, & I’d hate them to think you were bragging or anything “…

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/11/2025 21:11

Reoile · 20/11/2025 17:49

I think the cocaine assumption has come from cousins who are familiar with the type of people she is hanging around with. I don’t think it’s that unknown that cocaine use in Londons “posh” clubs is common.
I think the cringing comes from her sharing the TikTok’s she’s making. A lot of the group think she’s trying to become some sort of influencer with her yacht days and expensive gifts. Considering some members of the family are hardly getting by it does read as very braggy and out of touch.
I do think there is some jealousy too though, such as lots of her cousins/uncles/grandad are massive F1 fans. She’s watched Monaco Grand Prix from a yacht, had paddock passes for Silverstone and now she’s out at Las Vegas for this one, despite having never watched a race in her life before this.

Thats a huge leap they are making here. It sounds like they have been watching too much “Industry”.

You need to educate your family that not everyone who buys designer clothing is a drug user.

Steeleydan · 20/11/2025 21:11

Reoile · 20/11/2025 17:49

I think the cocaine assumption has come from cousins who are familiar with the type of people she is hanging around with. I don’t think it’s that unknown that cocaine use in Londons “posh” clubs is common.
I think the cringing comes from her sharing the TikTok’s she’s making. A lot of the group think she’s trying to become some sort of influencer with her yacht days and expensive gifts. Considering some members of the family are hardly getting by it does read as very braggy and out of touch.
I do think there is some jealousy too though, such as lots of her cousins/uncles/grandad are massive F1 fans. She’s watched Monaco Grand Prix from a yacht, had paddock passes for Silverstone and now she’s out at Las Vegas for this one, despite having never watched a race in her life before this.

Tell her to calm it down, explain we're in a col crisis and people don't want to hear constantly about her bragging shite.
He'll dump her soon and move onto the next she'll soon get a reality check with a bump then!

Obimumkinobi · 20/11/2025 21:01

MsStrausse · 20/11/2025 17:35

Your family are openly discussing your daughter’s cocaine use, have you told her?

Yes, I wonder which family WhatsApp group that's being discussed on?!

So, noone's reaching out to her, concerned about potential drug use, they're just bitching? Nice family. As her Mum, shouldn't you be shutting that shit down, not worrying about the bloody cringe factor?

greengreyblue · 20/11/2025 21:01

I would have a word about not putting so much bragging stuff in the family chat and maybe leave it for insta. However I think your assumptions about cocaine is a leap and it doesn’t sound like you k ow your DD at all. My DD is doing very well in her career and has met a bf who is a high earner too .They do lovely things but only share with our immediate family WhatsApp not the wider family group.

BruhWhy · 20/11/2025 20:59

Sometimes you really have to let people make a fool of themselves. She's 25. You can't police her behaviour, this is an adult making cringey adult choices.

Of course you all have the choice to respond with eyeroll emojis or ignore it completely. I'd go with that personally.

Vaguelyclassical · 20/11/2025 20:57

MidnightPatrol · 20/11/2025 17:41

“it’s also very much openly assumed that she will be using cocaine in her new found circle”

Bizarre!

And note the sly passive voice. Assumed by whom, pray? The entire family, or just you? Or just by the nastiest relative you possess, who is thus making you personally nervous?