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Original poster

To think skid marks are not normal?!

205 replies

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 20/11/2025 15:07

SD’s shitty pants are really, really revolting😫

It’s not normal for a ten year old, is it???

OP posts:
Yuropean · 20/11/2025 17:34

I taught my children to wash their bum after a poo so no skidders. Our shower head can reach the toilet so they use that to wash or a jug of water.

Andromed1 · 20/11/2025 17:34

If SD has a touch of IBS, she may sometimes (not always) get a little bit of liquid coming out a few minutes after she's wiped, enough to make skid marks. She sounds embarrassed and unwilling to talk to anyone about what is going on, so it would be hard to find out if this is the case. I can't think that her dad 'teasing' her about it would go down well.
You understandably dislike dealing with her laundry so could you just tackle this aspect of the problem, eg by setting up a separate laundry bag for the household's underwear, and sticking the whole thing in the machine? That would avoid singling her out and mean that you don't have to touch or look at dirty pants.

MNHQ
PipMumsnet · 20/11/2025 17:33

Hello everyone, we are getting a lot of reports about this thread. We have already removed quite a few posts for breaking Talk guidelines. Personal attacks go against guidelines so please bear this in mind when posting. Those who continue may have their accounts suspended which is something we would rather avoid.
MNHQ

Blizzardofleaves · 20/11/2025 17:33

I am shocked at some of these posts that are genuinely shaming her, she is only ten - please treat her dignity.

If you are regularly dealing with ‘handfuls’ of shit then ask her father to wash his children’s clothes, I am not sure why you are doing it anyway op!

Maybe your resentment of this extra work load is being misdirected.

BillieWiper · 20/11/2025 17:33

I know I used to hold in my poo when I was a child, I vaguely remember liking the feeling?! My gay flatmate later told me it was a precursor to enjoying sodomy. Don't worry I'm not saying that the case for your kid!

But if they hold it then it touch cloth as they say? The idea of prompting them/asking if they need to go after meals or rest might help? To kind of get them out of feeling comfortable with a full bowel.

Calliopespa · 20/11/2025 17:31

What are you feeding her? Maybe she has sensitivities and it is giving her looser stools.

OneMintWasp · 20/11/2025 17:30

My son has this sometimes due to constipation. She maybe needs a doctors appointment to try some lactose or alternatives.

SallyDraperGetInHere · 20/11/2025 17:27

Time to talk menstrual hygiene at this age, so that’s an opportunity to combine the two chats. Could you take her to Primark or somewhere and pick out some nice multipacks, and talk really frankly about feminine hygiene, teach her how to rinse out stained knickers, how to dispose of a pad, etc. And say that other people will notice if her hygiene isn’t good. I hear your frustration, and I also feel sorry for her that she doesn’t have the self-awareness yet.

Clarabell77 · 20/11/2025 17:27

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Joeninety · 20/11/2025 17:27

Where does she drive at that age ? Just tell her to slow down a bit.

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/11/2025 17:26

WeNeedToTalkAboutIT · 20/11/2025 17:14

Quite right.

Does anybody else have a feminist problem with the fact that period blood is left out of the PPP list, though?!

I know, I know, including it would probably encourage people to flush tampons. It's just that excluding it is kinda anti-feminist IMHO.

(Why yes I am fun at parties!)

Show quote history

Not really I can't remember many occasions when blood went directly into the toilet. When I was younger it was deemed acceptable to flush tampons but obviously it's not now. It's 25 years since I actually had a period, I had very heavy bleeding leading to a hysterectomy but still don't remember bleeding into the toilet.

Poonu · 20/11/2025 17:26

Kindly, op you haven't taught her because she doesn't know how to do it still. It just needs reinforcing. Kids develop at different ages

Smiling2022 · 20/11/2025 17:25

Wrenjay · 20/11/2025 16:42

There are no wipes that are flushable. The sewage companies have enough of them to deal with. They are for the BIN ONLY. Flushable does not mean the toilet: it is an advertising ploy and has no real meaning. NEVER put anything other than Poo, Pee or Paper (toilet paper) in the lavatory ever.

Show quote history

So what do you suggest 'flushable' means if not the toilet??
These Companies will have done their research, they wouldn't legally be able to state their claims if they were inaccurate.

Endofthetunnel25 · 20/11/2025 17:25

This little girl needs your help, not your criticism.

YourWildAmberSloth · 20/11/2025 17:24

Her mum needs to deal with it, child live with her most of the time and she is less likely to be defensive with her mum. There may be an underlying with issue which you and your husband are not aware of.

PickleRickChick · 20/11/2025 17:23

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 20/11/2025 16:07

Thanks to the people who’ve posted helpful suggestions!

To the rest, I hope you stub your toes and slip on the ice 🙂

Vile.

dynamiccactus · 20/11/2025 17:22

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Well this is just the sort of ableist post MN should be dealing with under its new moderation policy.

Reported

dynamiccactus · 20/11/2025 17:21

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 20/11/2025 15:24

Tbf there are many reasons I want her to change, not just that I’m getting a periodic handful of old shit. She’s going to get an infection, a friend might see and bully her, she’s going to smell bad.

Why is she going to get an infection?

I suggest you contact ERiC for some compassionate and helpful advice.

And she could actually be having health problems, even if it's not all the time.

Also do you have an easily accessible shower with a moveable shower head? Get her to wash herself down there.

LeBaiserDuDragon · 20/11/2025 17:21

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Moveoverdarlin · 20/11/2025 17:20

I don’t want to be touching anyone’s shit??

You sound cruel TBH.

I have no issue with wiping the kids bums, changing pissy sheets, picking up dog crap, but they’re my children and I love them.

Your post just oozes disdain for this girl.

Redpeach · 20/11/2025 17:19

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 20/11/2025 16:07

Thanks to the people who’ve posted helpful suggestions!

To the rest, I hope you stub your toes and slip on the ice 🙂

You wish harm on people who disagree with you?

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/11/2025 17:19

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 20/11/2025 15:13

Wet wipes clog the pipes, I’m not telling her to use them.

It’s not consistent so I don’t think it’s a medical problem. It’s usually the pants she’s worn at school, I think she’s having fun or rushing and forgets to wipe. But it’s absolutely gross.

Show quote history

You're not supposed to flush them you put them in a bin

Chafing · 20/11/2025 17:18

I would rather manage skid marks in pants than reams of poopy wet wipes in the bin.

Skid marks - one of my kids was more prone than the others. That child tends to looser BMs so I guess wiping is mildly harder, plus he was pretty dyspraxic - clumsy, always covered in bruises, poor handwriting, dirt magnet. They grew out of it, but it would have been around age 12.

Mydadsbirthday · 20/11/2025 17:17

LivelyMintViper · 20/11/2025 15:18

Just gently issue her with gloves and soap and get her to wash them before putting them into the washing machine. And a subtle sticker chart with a reward for X number of days she is clean

I had this with my DD - a clean pants sticker reward chart - but when she was 3/4 years old and in school nursery! Not at the age of 10!

Calliopespa · 20/11/2025 17:17

ThatGladTiger · 20/11/2025 17:14

I don’t think this is a step mother issue! I am one and I think you are being mean.

Just speak to her. The poor girl will be mortified if her dad brings it up. Surely you have enough of a relationship with her to do that? Say you’ve noticed it when doing the laundry and ask if she’s ok? Then see where the conversation goes.

What are you going to do if she gets her period for the first time when she’s at her dad’s? Make her talk to her dad? Step up here OP.

I don’t think this is a step mother issue! I am one and I think you are being mean.

I agree. It's about the actual tone and circumstances being described. It's always such a lame cop-out when people try the "SM hate" card to wiggle out of their nasty attitudes.