Page 6 | Mum asked to stop breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD in shoe shop.

GinaDavva · 2025-11-20T11:30:16+00:00

Mixed feelings with this one. Shaming a mother publicly breastfeeding a small baby is never acceptable but breastfeeding a two year old child in a shop? Surely at that age a bottle is more convenient in the middle of a shop? My first thought was that this was more about attention than the actual principle of the matter. After breastfeeding 3 of my own I can honestly say there has never been a time where it felt necessary to start breastfeeding any of mine in the middle of a shop at two years old. Frankly at that age they wouldn’t find much in mine anyway! https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj3z31jn7v1o

Allswellthatendswelll · 20/11/2025 16:20

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 12:08

utterly wrong of the shop to tell the mum not to but unfortunately I think there's rather a few too many mums who think the solution to their childs distress is to put a boob in their mouth rather than teach their child other skills in self soothing. its the equivalent of sticking a dummy in the kids mouth and we would rightly tell mums they shouldnt be doing this at age 2. It's absolutely nothing to do with nutrition at the age.

This is the natural way we evolved. Of course breastfeeding is partially for comfort. And we are evolved to feed until between 2 and 4. Why so we need 2 year olds to self soothe?

Dummies are a bit different as can effect teeth and speech if they are in too much.

Boomer55 · 20/11/2025 16:20

Well, unless there’s a good reason, not sure why a two year old needs to be breastfed. 🤷‍♀️

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:20

At age two a breastfeed right this instant is a want not a need.

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:19

Or just ask them to wait two mins until you've finished shopping!!

Lilimoon · 20/11/2025 16:19

Hons123 · 20/11/2025 12:30

My mammals (cats and dogs) always breastfed their pups in the privacy of their own space.

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And do you often find them in shoe shops?

Anonymous07200408 · 20/11/2025 16:19

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:16

Oral stimulation is a more basic form of comfort. This is why we expect babies & toddlers to stop mouthing toys, and licking things that are not food. If you actually look on websites about child development it will tell you that mouthing and sucking behaviours persisting past the age of two is actually a sign of sensory or development delays.

Also - what if the baby in that shop had a developmental delay?! There is nothing wrong with giving a child the comfort it is seeking. Any other opinion is totally anachronistic I’m afraid.

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 16:18

Notadame · 20/11/2025 16:15

And you'd prefer they went for harder, more sophisticated options, like......?

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Err..give them a hug , reflect back their feelings, try and model some words as to what you think they are experiencing ? What do you think dads, grandparents, nursery workers do who don’t have a breast to offer?

Notadame · 20/11/2025 16:17

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:13

Read the post?

"words and hugs and distractions"

A distraction a bit like breastfeeding then? Or a comforting hug, a bit like a comforting breastfeed?

Anonymous07200408 · 20/11/2025 16:17

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:16

Oral stimulation is a more basic form of comfort. This is why we expect babies & toddlers to stop mouthing toys, and licking things that are not food. If you actually look on websites about child development it will tell you that mouthing and sucking behaviours persisting past the age of two is actually a sign of sensory or development delays.

Oh come on. You can’t be serious?!

Anonymous07200408 · 20/11/2025 16:16

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 14:36

Exactly so why is BF the only option at age 2?

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It is an option. An easy one and arguably the most comforting. If the child is seeking that specific comfort then denying it because of a bunch of judgemental twats who seem to have their own trauma around the female body makes zero sense and is potentially cruel.

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:16

Oral stimulation is a more basic form of comfort. This is why we expect babies & toddlers to stop mouthing toys, and licking things that are not food. If you actually look on websites about child development it will tell you that mouthing and sucking behaviours persisting past the age of two is actually a sign of sensory or development delays.

Notadame · 20/11/2025 16:15

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 16:15

People have said on the thread that it’s an easy option for them

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And you'd prefer they went for harder, more sophisticated options, like......?

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 16:15

Notadame · 20/11/2025 16:06

It's hardly the easy option breastfeeding an older baby/child in public, given the amount of judgy comments you get subjected to.

Edited

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People have said on the thread that it’s an easy option for them

ArabellaSaurus · 20/11/2025 16:14

'The shop apologised in a post on Facebook, adding that they wanted "everyone, including breastfeeding parents, to feel welcome and respected here".'

Shop shames mother for breastfeeding and then appears to suggest fathers can breastfeed. Why am I not surprised.

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 16:14

Fargo79 · 20/11/2025 16:02

Sure. That's why you're dodging the questions then 😁

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What questions?

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:13

Read the post?

Notadame · 20/11/2025 16:13

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:02

To me its a very physical thing, you don't do that in shops just the same as you don't whip out the changing mat & change the baby on the floor of the shop.

I wouldn't eat and drink in a shop either.

I do also associate suckling for comfort as young infant behaviour and that as children grow they should be developing more sophisticated ways of being comforted - they should respond to words and hugs and distractions and not only the very basic sensory act of sucking.

What are the more sophisticated ways of being comforted?

Fargo79 · 20/11/2025 16:09

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:02

To me its a very physical thing, you don't do that in shops just the same as you don't whip out the changing mat & change the baby on the floor of the shop.

I wouldn't eat and drink in a shop either.

I do also associate suckling for comfort as young infant behaviour and that as children grow they should be developing more sophisticated ways of being comforted - they should respond to words and hugs and distractions and not only the very basic sensory act of sucking.

Picking up a toddler or baby is physical. Strapping them into their push is physical. Loading them into a car is physical. Chasing them at the park is physical. I'm assuming you don't believe these things are not appropriate in public, so that's not the reason you object to breastfeeding in public either. Articulate what you actually mean. As for "sophisticated", that's a new one. Breastfeeding is not a "basic sensory act", and in fact performs many functions. Happily we don't have to guess or make false assumptions because we have science that proves this.

Notadame · 20/11/2025 16:06

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 16:00

Sigh….,have I objected or have I perhaps said they are OTHER ways to parent a 2 year old .they are not a baby anymore and you neglect their needs if you only ever resort to what is “easy”

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It's hardly the easy option breastfeeding an older baby/child in public, given the amount of judgy comments you get subjected to.

Peridoteage · 20/11/2025 16:02

To me its a very physical thing, you don't do that in shops just the same as you don't whip out the changing mat & change the baby on the floor of the shop.

I wouldn't eat and drink in a shop either.

I do also associate suckling for comfort as young infant behaviour and that as children grow they should be developing more sophisticated ways of being comforted - they should respond to words and hugs and distractions and not only the very basic sensory act of sucking.

Fargo79 · 20/11/2025 16:02

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 15:56

No it was because the poster I responded to was presuming that a. I was anti extended BF and b. anti BF in public, of which I am neither…,but most posters on BF threads tend to be of black and white thinking and come at you with bared teeth if you dare to disagree with the absolutist ideology!

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Sure. That's why you're dodging the questions then 😁

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 16:00

Notadame · 20/11/2025 15:58

But it is and it should be absolutist, because you have to be a specific type of person to object to a 2 year old having a drink in public.

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Sigh….,have I objected or have I perhaps said they are OTHER ways to parent a 2 year old .they are not a baby anymore and you neglect their needs if you only ever resort to what is “easy”

Notadame · 20/11/2025 15:58

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 15:56

No it was because the poster I responded to was presuming that a. I was anti extended BF and b. anti BF in public, of which I am neither…,but most posters on BF threads tend to be of black and white thinking and come at you with bared teeth if you dare to disagree with the absolutist ideology!

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But it is and it should be absolutist, because you have to be a specific type of person to object to a 2 year old having a drink in public.

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 15:56

Fargo79 · 20/11/2025 15:44

🤣
"getting boring" = I have been pressed to answer questions that expose my agenda so I'm ducking out.

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No it was because the poster I responded to was presuming that a. I was anti extended BF and b. anti BF in public, of which I am neither…,but most posters on BF threads tend to be of black and white thinking and come at you with bared teeth if you dare to disagree with the absolutist ideology!

Tiddlyswink · 20/11/2025 15:52

@Daaaaahling I was using the dummy as a comparator because I see whether it’s putting a dummy in or putting a breast in for an older child , is that you are effectively “shutting them up “ . A child at 2-3 is developing emotional regulation and language skills…why do we want to automatically shut that down by putting something in their mouth?? The link unfortunately doesn’t work and it’s a prospective study. There are studies on cognitive development and BF but unfortunately it’s a difficult area to study as many are confounded by socio economic factors, maternal IQ etc .