Mum asked to stop breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD in shoe shop.

I'm not, I'm simply pointing out that none of these are any different to breastfeeding, so therefore the only reason you'd have an issue if breastfeeding was used is because you're uncomfortable with seeing a breast.

@Lavender14 I highly doubt you have much if any evidence around extended BF seeing as it’s still relatively rare in the uk. I am talking about the rise of so called gentle parenting not parenting linked to socio economic factors.

I think at this age you can just give them a different snack or make them wait a bit. Obviously you shouldn't tell them to stop breastfeeding though.

Responsive and child centered parenting? Because that's what breastfeeding is. As a person who's worked in early years and works extensively around child development this is not remotely linked to poorer outcomes with education. In fact there's recent studies done that show that children who were breastfed out pace formula fed children educationally. Although I would say there's other factors to take into account with that as well. The type of parenting that causes the issues you mention usually comes hand in hand with poor attachment or intergenerational trauma. We also have much, much better mechanisms in place now for identifying SEN earlier but our schools are also less equipped to deal with it because of funding cuts. Attaching that to extended bf is an absolute nonsense. If you could link to some research between poor educational attainment or behavioural issues that would be great so you aren't just peddling unfounded myths and stereotypes with no basis...?

Why are you so upset at the idea that breastfeeding could be chosen as one of the options?

😂

As a primary teacher (majority KS1 and EYFS) I know exactly the type of parenting you are referring to.

But it has FA to do with breastfeeding.

So if you acknowledge these are parenting options why are you so upset at the idea that this could be tried with an older child instead of BF when your child is distressed?

@Peridoteage

"I do also associate suckling for comfort as young infant behaviour and that as children grow they should be developing more sophisticated ways of being comforted - they should respond to words and hugs and distractions and not only the very basic sensory act of sucking."

I understand your logic, but in reality this is a learned process that takes time. And the major problem with all of this is that you can say a child should have xyz skills by 1 year old but we know that all children develop at different paces. So you cannot apply a finite cut off point for a developmental skill. It also takes no account for the needs of children with SEN by creating the illusion that all kids operate and learn the same way at the same time. It's a nonsense.

@Anonymous07200408 @Squirrelmirrel2 probably because in this thread the suggestion that a 2 year old should be treated differently to a baby is greeted with such horror that anybody could ever give a 2 year old anything other then instant gratification and that somehow children are traumatised, damaged, yada yada by their parents not giving in to their needs immediately. We have had a real rise in the number of kids starting school and nursery not meeting their developmental goals , and part of this is the rise of a certain type of parenting .

I think the neurodivergent point is really relevant. My friend has an autistic son and he needed breastfeeding for comfort long beyond what some on here would consider acceptable.
She stuck with it, it calmed him in many situations he found just too overwhelming. For many it's like an instant nervous system reset. Thankfully she stuck a metaphorical finger up to people who judged her.
He's thriving at school now age 6. I truly believe her kindness and responsiveness to his needs has helped him be the secure little lad he is today.

Exactly. This thread is ridiculous - the naysayers are displaying misogynistic nonsense that serves nobody but the patriarchy and big pharma/formula manufacturers.

This is so judgemental though. You've no idea of that womans circumstances. I know someone who bf to that age and her child was autistic and non verbal and when he git distressed for a long time that was the only way to calm him until he got older and they were able to build in more strategies to support him with emotional regulation. I think she's an actual Saint for doing what her child needed above all else. You won't know just from looking the reasons why someone has chosen to bf for longer.

And while some women may feel like they just don't want their child to grow up, I'd say that bf is quite tough on the female body. It's demanding physically and mentally and carries with it lots of changes in terms of hormones etc. So to suggest that loads of women are doing it for longer just because they love doing it that much I think is quite unrealistic and a bit of a myth. Any mums I know who are still bf at 2 or 3 are struggling and doing their best to navigate weaning at the child's pace. I got to 2 and I did enjoy bf but it definitely wasn't an easy thing and I was very ready to stop when ds eventually was. For me it was ultimately important that he stopped gradually and at his pace so it wasn't a sad thing. And my son was a good eater from about 8 months. But again, there's benefits to extended breastfeeding that food doesn't provide in the same way so weaned or not isn't really here nor there.

Yes that's right, because as a mother who breastfeeds a toddler I never think to do any of those things.

And? Your point being what?

And why is that superior to a breastfeed?

And who exactly are you to decide this?!
a neurodivergent child might feel a primal need for that comfort. Some parents might not be able to offer it but if they can wtf wouldn’t they? And who are you to say what my child needs in any particular moment?

Yes. People need to mind their own business and stop being so uptight. It's hurting no one.

Well, seeing as I have 4 kids ranging from 19 to 7 you can safely assume I’ve managed this impossible situation whilst extended breastfeeding. None of them are still breastfeeding.

what I cannot understand is why people give such a fuck and think it’s ok to be so judgemental. It’s not hurting anyone else, has proven multitudinous benefits and is protected by law.

Why can't you understand that everyone's child is different and their needs are different?
It's frankly none of your business if a woman you've never met offers their toddler a breast. There is no evidence it's harmful, to the contrary, and it isn't bothering anyone else.
Why do you have to go round and round in circles trying to find ways for someone else to comfort their child? They are not asking for your advice.

Exactly. It annoys me so much we've basically been manipulated out what we evolved for as mothers, babies and small children because of ideas of what is modern/hygenic/ acceptable.

Like havint a bottle right?

Where I live breastfeeding a toddler is normal and may this continue to spread

How is giving a child a hug and reflecting back their feelings automatically inferior to offering a breast ? At what age do you think you would stop offering a breast and start doing something else? What do you do when you are on a motorway and your child is distressed in the back and screaming mummy !!booby!! do you pull over on the hard shoulder to BF them or do you comfort them verbally or try to distract them?

A distraction a bit like breastfeeding then?

A distraction like saying here you can hold mummy's keys or would you like to put a coin in the charity pot or "yes i know the shoe shop is a bit dull but we'll go to the park next".

Luckily trying to toughen up toddlers is a pretty old fashioned attitude as demonstrated on this thread (and yes, reflecting back feelings to a distressed 2 yr old whilst useful practice is not nearly as comforting as offering them a breast).