Mum asked to stop breastfeeding a TWO YEAR OLD in shoe shop.

I dont think that’s a revolutionary concept ..obviously many people believe otherwise ( poll is currently 55 to 45 %) but if we repeated that poll considering a BF child at age 3 or at age 4 you would likely see that percentage change, I highly doubt many would believe a child of school age should still be BF on demand . So ultimately the debate is at what age is it considered the norm to stop BF on demand .

This. To me its nothing to do with breasts being "sexualised". More the ickyness of anyone sucking on a body part. To me there is something in our brains that doesn't find it icky when a baby mouths a toy but its clearly a bit gross when a 3 year old does. The age at which our brain thinks its an ok thing to see obviously varies but we clearly expect children to develop past a reliance on oral stimulation. For me by age 2 I'd completely understand bf continuing but in the transition to outgrowing it i would have expected it to have reduced significantly and no longer be a) the first choice during the day over offering a drink or snack (outside a shop in any case, you don't eat in a shop in my book) b) offered on demand because children this age should be learning to wait)/that they don't own mummy c) no longer the only or main source of comfort.

Also I've worked in a shoe shop before. We had customers breastfeed there all the time, especially when in with other kids getting shoes fitted etc as that can be time consuming. Sometimes we'd have customers wait an hour just queueing for a back to school shoe fitting before we even got to the fitting which could be however long it took. Never ever would it have been an issue. Parents often brought snacks for their kids to keep them quiet.

She was out with her 8 yo, there's nothing to suggest they were not customers or would be customers. Lots of places have limited space like buses or similar and I've managed to breastfeed on plenty of those without it being an issue.

@tiddlyswink https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4365917/

Here is the link to the research from Brazil which shows correlation not only between breastfeeding and level of educational attainment but also correlation between length of time being breastfeed and increased level of educational attainment compared to those breastfed for under 1 year.

What I'm genuinely curious about is why you think a snapshot second of seeing a mother breastfeed a 2 yo is enough to make ANY sort of judgement on that mothers parenting skills?

I'm sure there are loads of times where she's been unable to respond immediately and child has had to wait such as driving the car, carrying bags, going to the loo the list is endless. Why is it that you think that teeny window makes you more informed about what her child needs, than her? The mother is the best placed person to decide whether breastfeeding is the right comforting tool in her kit at that moment in time. And there may be lots of reasons which have been stated ad infinum about what those might be. So it's incredible to me that you would immediately assume she's an ill equipped parent as opposed to a parent making an informed choice using significantly more information than you are privy to.

Extended breastfeeding in the UK happens more than you'd think but due to attitudes like yours women often feel the need to hide it away. And other countries are capable of doing their own research. You still have yet to provide any evidence to back up a single assertion you've made.

Don't forget the coveted breastfeeding toilet! Complete with overflowing sanitary/nappy bin and empty soap dispenser.

there is a time and a place

Under a shroud, in a large cardboard box, in a back room, amirite?

Exactly.

The seats are for customers!
I wouldn't sit and have a drink in a shoe shop. As someone who breastfed a 2 year old, there is absolutely no need to do it whilst shopping. A 2 yr-old is breastfed for nutritional/emotional reasons, but hunger. Once a child is on food, there is no need to randomly do it. A café is fine but a shoe shop has limited space.

Isn't there?

British Medical Journal (and hundreds other) disagrees.

‘Surely you’re not still breastfeeding’: a qualitative exploration of women’s experiences of breastfeeding beyond infancy in the UK | BMJ Open https://share.google/Go6YpCh1hicMznvtW

The info on gov.uk points out the limitations of the survey you referenced @Tiddlyswink . It is stated that 'studies after 12 months are of low quality and contradictory and acknowledge that they do not take account of other foods and drinks being consumed'.

Still it is good to be as fully informed as possible and decide whether it is safer to stick to juice, cows milk and snack bars instead.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/breastfeeding-and-dental-health/breastfeeding-and-dental-health

This info also refers to the very low levels of BF in the UK. I am not sure it is the most responsible thing to be doing, to post on a parents' site like this in a way that risks further discouraging BF. And that goes for a lot of posters on this thread.

Um yes there is extensive evidence, hence why the WHO recommends it.

This is disgusting and says everything about you and your warped ideas and nothing about mothers and their children

And it is BS a child of 2 does not require breast feeding. There is no evidence to support it.

I think it's up to the mother based on her assessment of the situation. It's not for anyone else to judge. Your argument that mum should have other means to comfort the child at a certain age suggests distaste for breastfeeding past a certain age. And yes people do have opinions but I think they should avoid judgment in this area. As long as mum's decision is working well for her and the child it's noone else's business whether she breastfeeds for 0 days 180 days 365 days or 5 years plus. There is no evidence to suggest any harm comes from extended breastfeeding in fact it's quite the opposite and people's mostly negative opinions are simply not evidence based.

And where has anyone mentioned being breastfed to sleep being the go-to?

Again, if you'd bothered to read my post (which you clearly haven't) then you'd see the examples given were not the first choice option.

Interestingly, there is an awful lot of evidence for extended breastfeeding and oral muscle development for speech, and jaw development for optimal dental alignment. So dental research is generally in favour of breastfeeding.

Not brushing your child's teeth before sleep is just poor parenting whether you breastfeed or not.

Two year olds are not constantly round their mother?! Are you sure about that? You do realise that children tend to stay dependant on their mothers last babyhood right? Or were you sending your two year olds out to work with a flask and a pack up?

Absolute drivel you're spouting.

Around me breastfeeding into toddler years is normal!

Boggles the mind how grown adults will happily chuck a mother cows milk in their tea or have it churned up and spread on their toast but a toddler having it's own mother's milk is somehow disgusting. Cognitive dissonance at its finest.

@Fargo79 I have lost your quote but It’s not “ my “ opinion ,it’s https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28759394/ a study which is also quoted in the uk gov guidance and highlighted for further research because the increased dental cary rates for over 24 mths of age BF babies are possibly because some children are fed to sleep or do free feeding at night without toothbrushing afterwards. It’s not too hard to understand that you need to brush your older child’s teeth after a feed is it? If a 2 year old can only sleep by being breast fed to sleep then they are also not learning to self settle.

Teaching a child to cope with distress is a process, and I would not expect a 2 year old to have become an expert. You are making an assumption that all mothers who BF older babies and toddlers are following a specific particular 'style of parenting', and you base this just on the one example of your sibling (I presume you mean your sister btw) which you perceived as negative.

Whereas in practice women are likely to be breastfeeding alongside other processes of guiding and teaching as well as comforting their DC. I would rather leave it up to a mother to decide what is appropriate for her child at their development stage, and suggest that those who disapprove just avert their eyes.

I fail to understand why so many people find BF so triggering; a lot of them on this thread of all places. The voting is actually 55 majority that the OP IBU; though I admit I am disappointed that it is not much much higher. I would expect women on a parents' site to be near unanimous in supporting a breastfeeding mother who has been abused in public for exercising her legal right. But internalised misogyny - you know how it is.

If it's age-dependant, what age is the cut-off whereby breastfeeding in certain circumstances becomes unacceptable? What evidence is this opinion based on?

Why do you think that mothers who breastfeed on demand (possibly only sometimes, since this whole thread is based on witnessing a single occurrence) are not also teaching their children other methods of regulating emotions? If you see a mother speaking to a child, do you automatically assume she never hugs them?

Why would a breastfeeding mother need to offer other alternatives if she wants to breastfeed at that moment? Are there also hierarchies of acceptable parenting tools for non-breastfeeding mothers when deciding how best to parent their child in a specific situation? What evidence is this based on?

Has your opinion about feeding to sleep changed at all since the other PP linked to a trusted source that disproved your claim?

So if I was to offer a hug to my child, or distracted them with a toy, you'd think that was poor parenting that I clearly hadn't taught them to cope with distress in other ways? No? So it's just the breast that would cause that reaction? Why is that do you think?

I have also said multiple times that it is age dependant @Fargo79 i have said previously , I think it’s poor parenting not to teach your child to cope with distress on other ways and to automatically resort to the boob. That’s clear is it not? If you don’t agree with me fair enough but surely at some age you will stop offering the boob and encourage alternatives? Do you not think 2 year olds are capable of doing anything else? To be fair, I have seen the negatives of this type of parenting at close quarters with my sibling who did extended BF which does colour my opinions. Child fell over, give him the boob, child tired, give him the boob, child not actually really wanting the boob but mum still trying to give him said boob etc etc. It’s a particular style of parenting that isn’t really meeting the child’s needs is it? You can give me all the flak you like but the voting is 55 v. 45 and I at least understand why people choose to do extended BF !

@Tiddlyswink I also just picked up on the fact you have called the breastfeeding mothers on this thread "fanaticists", despite the fact that there's only person who's making up fake facts to support their opinion (you). Amazing.

She doesn't care at all about that, she just thinks you should offer an alternative first (but she won't say why - I wonder why that could be).

I'm going to try again because I'm waiting around to give someone a lift and have time to kill.

What is the problem with breastfeeding a 2 year old if the child and the mother both want to? Why do you feel the need to "argue" at all?