To ask what do your kids do without tech?

I have a 6 year old DS and baby DD. No tech bar the TV in the morning. DS plays Lego, reads, colours, we go out and about, read the Beano, swimming, Beavers and a board games club after school.

I have had to make peace with a level of mess - this morning for 1.5 hours before school my DD cut out bits of paper all over the carpet making funny masks and little notes, and drawings and things. She was really absorbed and happy, and I just thought...its fine. Ideally she would do that on a table, but I didn't want to intervene because she was having nice time, so I just let her crack on and we tidy it up later on. I don't mind mess, as long as she's happy and absorbed.

Other times she likes doing play dough (I do insist on that being on a table!!) or those things where you dig out dinosaurs from lumps of plaster.

She also likes putting on a leotard and prancing around the living room doing gymnastics.

I got her a desk with a lamp on that we keep in the living room (as she likes being around the family) and she likes doing writing and drawing there.

2.5 hours a DAY?!?! For an 8 year old?!?! Is this was the school holidays then not so bad, but for term time then 2.5 hours is way too much!

I have two 9 year olds. They can watch TV if it's something educational (nature programs, or in another language), and if they've been super good then they can have 1 hour on their tablet.

We read together (I try and sit and read with them - we snuggle up on the sofa with a book each), they LOVE magnets and spend ages playing with those (individually - not together), one does a lot of sketching, the other puts music on and dances. One likes helping make dinner. One likes going outside to do skipping or riding on the scooter outside the front (safe area - not many cars).
Generally they just play with their toys in their room. An 8 year old should be using their imagination and playing with toys.

When they do have their tablets, they play minecraft generally. They're not allowed to watch videos.

Tablets and phones are addictive. That’s why people are ‘scared’ of them. For every young person who becomes a tech engineer, there’ll be fifty who are just miserable phone addicts. I think kids ought to play. They can have their whole adulthood on screens like the rest of us.

I do wonder if he might benefit from after school club rather than coming home to tablet time?

This, also are you making sure you delineate working time from family time so that work isn't bleeding into every available hour and leaving you no quality time with him?

Also its easy to let the baby dominate but your older child needs your attention too. Sometimes baby has to sit a bit bored in a bouncy chair while you play a game with DS - baby will still benefit from hearing and watching you play and talk.

Big thing is read - both my kids read a lot, including comics

Board games also.

I do wonder if he might benefit from after school club rather than coming home to tablet time?

My 8 & 10 year olds are only allowed the switch for limited time over weekends. They play outside in the garden whatever the weather. They play Lego, read, help cook, play with the dog. We don't really limit TV time as they self limit generally. They would always choose to be outside.

Scouts
Archery
Play music
Gym
Sports teams
Martial Arts
Draw cartoons
Read

Aside when we are out at clubs, DD gets probably an our of tv a day on a erage, she’s 6 so she doesn’t usually have access to a tablet but she does play some games on my ipad on a Saturday morning in bed with us so me and Dh can have a bit more of a snooze.

Apart from that,
she’s in the middle of some meccano thing with DH also enjoys marble run and lego
board games like “ticket to ride” also logic games (cats in boxes, the little red riding hood game)
Card games, DH taught her to play a few
reading
craft kits (she bloody loves these, and often they are reasonably priced)
She’ll draw pictures etc (her desk has a collection of stickers, glitter glu, coloured paper etc)

Thats off the top of my head. It is hard OP, definitely not judging, I struggle not to waste my own time with screens.Try a craft kit, kids usually get into these, just to get him used to working on something else thats not a screen.

Why is everyone so scared of screens? There are so many educational and productive things to do. My DS started learning to code at 8. Was fixing our computers for us in his teens. Now he’s earning very well as a tech engineer. My DD discovered digital art and is off in that direction. It’s not all bad!

Drawing, crafting, playing games. But honestly the thing she does most of is just 'pottering'. She'll pull things out and cut things up and make a right mess and that's a really good thing. Don't get me wrong sometimes she just asks for the tablet and says she's bored but I hold firm and she finds something to do. Sometimes I'll say something like 'If you're bored you can water the plants' or 'if you can't find anything to do you could wash the towel rail in the bathroom' and amazingly sometimes she will actually do that - but most often she will potter off and find something on her own. One day she sat and wound wool round a hairbrush for ages, another day she started joining elastic bands together and that became a thing she would do every day. He'll be the same if he has the chance!

As kids we had no screens, if we ever told my mum we were bored she’ll tell us there was plenty of cleaning to do, we rushed off pretty quick and occupied ourselves 😂 we had a very full bookcase in the lounge and I was reading the classics at eight because I’d read everything else and by being bored my hand was forced. We are doing the same with our two and although they are younger than yours 5 and almost 2 they play with toy animals for ages, read books, play with magnatiles and jigsaws

I'd start with tackling that morning hour first. In my house the only thing that happens if you wake so early is you read quietly in bed. Exposing him to blue light from a screen so early in the day is training his brain to wake at that hour. Its also terrible for his attention and concentration to have that huge dopamine hit before school.

You mention working - are you trying to work with him & a baby at home with no childcare? Thats a recipe for disaster

Honestly that amount of screen time will just kill any ability he has to play independently. As you have noticed, when he is not on the screen, he is thinking about it! You could try cutting down the time and having screen holidays (e.g. no ipad on a Saturday. Or no ipad during half term).

2.5 hours a day is a lot, and that's probably part of the problem - if he's so used to relying on it for entertainment in the week, it's hard to switch off from that in the weekend.

I know it wouldn't be easy, but I think cutting down in the week will have a knock on effect on the weekend.

You say he goes to a music club - does he play an instrument? Practising is always a good way of spending time 'productively'. Outdoor play as others have said. I also think it's important to remember that many 8 year olds don't play that well on their own and it's normal for him to need some involvement from you.

I don't think mine would find 2.5 hours in a normal school day to play with screens (even if they wanted to 😂)

2.5h?! 😱 Cant let my son see this 😀
We have 1h per day of screen time on schooldays, weekends its a bit more because we watch movies together sometimes.
My son is 11 and he usually does homework, reads, practises instruments, goes to his sport 3x a week which already takes up the entire evening that day, sometimes he does lego or listens to music.
We also play a lot of card or board games as a family. And often when the weather permits he just goes outside with his friends

LEGO
Feels like there is more lego than non-lego items in the house. But still we don't have enough bits to hold wheels on to a very small taxi

Mine only get screens for:

• school required homework apps
• 30 mins tv after tea
• 1hr minecraft on sunday with cousin

They are 8 (nrly 9) and 6.