Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD upset with me Who is being unreasonable

79 replies

ML5 · 19/11/2025 23:12

DD22 on FaceTime with her BF messages me for toast. DH then presents me with lots of cups/plates from upstairs AFTER I finish kitchen which naturally I was not happy about so started shouting out of frustration. DD then starts shouting about me shouting to DH about making her the toast to and not to bother making her one so we end up arguing ourselves. Am I being unreasonable to think that seeing as I work full time that everyone is responsible for making their own after dinner snacks and not leaving cups/plates upstairs and presenting them to me late at night?

OP posts:
Original poster
ML5 · 19/11/2025 23:20

For everyone’s info I told my DD that anything she wants after dinner she has to get herself

OP posts:
Spookyspaghetti · 19/11/2025 23:18

I can’t believe she FaceTimes you from upstairs. If you continue to pander then they will all continue to behave that way.

NorthSouthEast · 19/11/2025 23:17

Shouting is rarely productive or helpful so YABU on that point.

I don’t know if your DH does an equal amount of work to you in and out of the home so don’t know if it’s fair that your job is to do the kitchen and his job is to present you with dirty plates and cups late on, but I suspect YANBU on that point.

your DD is far too old to be messaging you for toast (or anything else), she can make her own. I’d be reminding her about respect, manners and the possibility of moving into her own place if she doesn’t want to pull her weight.

Arlanymor · 19/11/2025 23:16

Your DD can get off her arse and get her own toast. Your DH can wash anything that he took upstairs when he brings it back down. Who are these adult babies?