Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you survive this cold as an office worker?

394 replies

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 19/11/2025 22:11

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I am freezing. Down to my bones. I have a heating pad under my jumper and a blanket on me and I finally feel warm for the first time this week.

I have ordered a hot water bottle but I don’t know what else I can do. I’m freezing. I’m on Mounjaro so I think it’s that, but I’m just so miserable.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
OvernightBloats · 20/11/2025 09:50

Your father is ignoring your need to be warm - this is neglect. Neglect is abuse by omission.

ilovesooty · 20/11/2025 09:48

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:46

You’ve got the bit between your teeth haven’t you? He’s not abusive. I’ve done my mandatory training.

Show quote history

Your mandatory training evidently hasn't taught you what abuse and coercive control is.

ilovesooty · 20/11/2025 09:46

He's keeping you cold at home. That's abuse and no amount of denial changes that.

TidyCyan · 20/11/2025 09:46

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:44

He’s not abusive, and nothing people will say on that will change my mind. He doesn’t like central heating. It’s his house, he can make those choices.

Show quote history

He doesn't want you to boil a full kettle! It costs about 3p. 3p for a few hours of warmth for his daughter. What a guy.

Original poster
ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:46

ilovesooty · 20/11/2025 09:45

So you're endorsing his coercive control and abuse? If you're communicating with patients have you done any training related to safeguarding and recognising abuse?

Show quote history

You’ve got the bit between your teeth haven’t you? He’s not abusive. I’ve done my mandatory training.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 20/11/2025 09:45

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:42

Like I said, he grew up very poor and it’s understandable that he’s like this.

Show quote history

So you're endorsing his coercive control and abuse? If you're communicating with patients have you done any training related to safeguarding and recognising abuse?

Original poster
ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:44

TidyCyan · 20/11/2025 09:43

Plenty of people grow up poor and (if they have money, you say he does) decide they want better for their families. It's not an excuse.

Show quote history

He’s not abusive, and nothing people will say on that will change my mind. He doesn’t like central heating. It’s his house, he can make those choices.

OP posts:
TidyCyan · 20/11/2025 09:43

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:42

Like I said, he grew up very poor and it’s understandable that he’s like this.

Show quote history

Plenty of people grow up poor and (if they have money, you say he does) decide they want better for their families. It's not an excuse.

Original poster
ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:42

HeidiLite · 20/11/2025 09:41

if someone hates something you do and gets annoyed so you need to hide it, then it's not that far from not being allowed.

Show quote history

Like I said, he grew up very poor and it’s understandable that he’s like this.

OP posts:
HeidiLite · 20/11/2025 09:41

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:32

I can boil the kettle he just hates when I do the whole kettle for a hot water bottle because he sees it as a waste of money and water

Show quote history

if someone hates something you do and gets annoyed so you need to hide it, then it's not that far from not being allowed.

Negroany · 20/11/2025 09:40

itsthetea · 20/11/2025 09:22

https://www.hse.gov.uk/temperature/employer/the-law.htm

16 is the legal minimum for office worker/ one where theee isn’t a huge amount of physical labour

Edited

"suggested" I'm afraid, not a legal minimum.

Harrysmummy246 · 20/11/2025 09:39

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:06

He’s always been like this. I wouldn’t say he’s abusive, he just grew up without central heating and is very precious about it. He sees it as burning money because it heats all the areas of the house without people in it. I don’t even have a radiator in my room 😂

Show quote history

Then he needs to learn to operate TRVs and a controller set up

Gettingbysomehow · 20/11/2025 09:39

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 19/11/2025 22:13

In an office, I don’t know. Bloody cold. It’s NHS, so the heating isn’t on anywhere near as much as you’d expect

Show quote history

You're lucky our NHS clinics are heated to tropical levels. Im on mounjaro too. After losing 5 stone im definitely feeling the cold.

OvernightBloats · 20/11/2025 09:37

Smuggle a heated blanket into the house and use it in your bedroom. It just looks like a fleece blanket. Roll it up when you are out and then he will never spot the wires! Please don't suffer being this cold, it sounds miserable.

Also, shocked to hear that your parents are happy to go on expensive holidays to avoid the cold whilst they are happy for their daughter to be so uncomfortably cold. Sounds like they are putting your comfort to the bottom of the priority list.

Harrysmummy246 · 20/11/2025 09:34

Cherrytree86 · 19/11/2025 22:36

@Homegrownberries

no, it’s just the fact that it’s fucking dreadfully freezing in the Uk. Her iron levels could be brilliant and she’ll still feel cold…because it is cold.

Show quote history

No it is a bit cold. It's not the end of the world or even extreme and most of us, especially those who have to work outside, put on more layers of appropriate material, make hot drinks when we can and get on with it.

Original poster
ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:32

HeidiLite · 20/11/2025 09:30

you're not even allowed to boil a kettle? Just because someone has always been abusive and controlling doesn't mean it's fine.

I can boil the kettle he just hates when I do the whole kettle for a hot water bottle because he sees it as a waste of money and water

OP posts:
HeidiLite · 20/11/2025 09:30

you're not even allowed to boil a kettle? Just because someone has always been abusive and controlling doesn't mean it's fine.

Original poster
ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:27

BringBackCatsEyes · 20/11/2025 09:23

You’re allowed a hot water bottle?!
Did you have to ask his permission?

Show quote history

It’s just always been the rules.

he grew up in the 50s and 60s in a poor family. They used to have nothing, he’s retained that mindset. His view is that that central heating is literally burning money. He gets logs for free from a friend so the fire is fine, but this mindset has never left him. Him and my mum have plenty of money now and will literally fly to the Caribbean for three weeks to avoid January/february, but he just draws the line at central heating and electric blankets. He still has visions of the old ones that cost a fortune

OP posts:
LadySuzanne · 20/11/2025 09:27

Homegrownberries · 19/11/2025 22:17

Any chance your iron is low?

I was about to suggest this.

I was very anaemic three years ago due to heavy post menopausal bleeding (degenerating fibroids + endometrial hyperplasia). My main symptoms were restless legs in the evenings and feeling perishing cold. Both resolved once I'd been on iron supplementation for a few weeks.

Can you get your iron and ferritin levels checked?

I used to get very cold feet in the winter at night but I now go out for a 20 minute or longer walk at least once and often twice a day and that does seem to have improved the circulation in my legs and feet. If I can't get out I do leg and ankle exercises and my feet don't feel so cold in bed.

If you sit at a desk for most of the day can you do ankle flexes and ankle circles every hour or so?

Are you on any meds like beta blockers or blood thinners? My husband is on both and he always feels cold, especially extremities - his hands, feet and nose feel like ice, this weather and he's only really comfortable if the room temperature is several degrees higher than what I would like.

Francestein · 20/11/2025 09:27

Get one of the wee plug in heaters for your room and a heated throw. The heated chair pads are amazing. Also highly recommend Uniqlo Heattech Cashmere blend. Get a size or two up and wear as a base layer. Washes well also.

PoweredBySheerSpite · 20/11/2025 09:25

My husband bought me a heated gillet last year and it’s amazing!

DeadBee · 20/11/2025 09:25

Has anyone mentioned heated gilets? I used to have one. You charge the battery pack which goes in your pocket and there’s a little on/off button in the chest. They’re amazing.

BringBackCatsEyes · 20/11/2025 09:23

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:19

It’s just how he’s always been.

im allowed a hot water bottle (I’ve got one arriving today), and he lights the fire to heat the main room but it doesn’t heat the rest of the house. I just need to make sure I boil the kettle when he’s up in bed so he doesn’t get too annoyed

Show quote history

You’re allowed a hot water bottle?!
Did you have to ask his permission?

ilovesooty · 20/11/2025 09:23

ColdToesandWarmHeart · 20/11/2025 09:19

It’s just how he’s always been.

im allowed a hot water bottle (I’ve got one arriving today), and he lights the fire to heat the main room but it doesn’t heat the rest of the house. I just need to make sure I boil the kettle when he’s up in bed so he doesn’t get too annoyed

Show quote history

For goodness sake. Listen to yourself. He's an abuser.