To ask how you survive this cold as an office worker?

If you dad won't heat the house above 11C, won't allow you a heated blanket (which uses the same electric as a light bulb) and doesn't care you are freezing, that is emotional abuse.

Abuse doesn't mean hitting you.

Do you pay 'rent' to your parents for living at home?

Heated gilet.. game changer..

https://www.scie.org.uk/safeguarding/adults/introduction/types-and-indicators-of-abuse/

It's neglect.

"Failure to provide or allow access to food, shelter, clothing, heating, stimulation and activity, personal or medical care"

A long sleeved thermal vest an absolute must for keeping warm!

oh you know better than the medical profession ?

it’s painful but he isn’t wrong ? He isn’t being abusive ?

physically hurting someone isn’t abuse ?

step Back

give yourself a hug

you are worth so much more than you believe

I layer up and am grateful I’m not my husband whose a builder/roofer and is working outside in the freezing cold 😂

I don’t think your dad not having the heating on is a bad thing in this situation, as hopefully you are more adjusted to the cold than you would be if he did.

I work in a prison and so obviously very restricted on what I can bring in (not even allowed a metal fork or tin foil for sandwiches).
And obviously very restricted on what I can do during the day.
I definitely can’t bring a hot water bottle or snoodie either.

I do try and walk as often as possible as this is the best way to warm me up.

But apart from that gloves is the main one that I find helps.
Also thermal under layers and socks but my hands are the main thing - if they’re cold I literally can’t cope.

Do you think abusive means he hits you? There’s more than one kind of abuse.

Oh dear love

it is abusive behaviour to keep the heating so low that you feel very cold and miserable and it will be damaging your lungs

of course you dont like to think in those terms

but what other people do is not work for someone like that, or report them to authorities as the temperature is illegal - which you don’t want to do because “love”

edit to add - it is not right to think of heating as a waste of money - it’s at best disturbing

No he's disgusting.

But either way, you need to move out. Even if he is just a bit quirky for your health and comfort move out. It will be worth it.

Well of course you don’t think it’s abusive, you’ve been groomed to think it’s normal. That’s how it works.

I have a small heater under my desk.

If he was "just tight" or skint he'd be happy for you to pay extra towards having the heating on.

Living in a house that's 7-11C is not normal, very few people can be comfortable in those conditions.

I agree. Do star jumps in the ladies every time you go for a wee. I do sympathise though, when I get really cold I’m cold for ages.

It's 17C in my office as the heater's bust. I have a tiny hot water bottle. Usually it's like the tropics in here so it's a bit weird.
I wfh some days and have the best thing ever - a heated poncho. Costs pennies. Some of them are battery or USB power bank operated and so you could wear one and it wouldn't be obvious.
If you have problems boiling full kettles, then see if you can get a Kelly kettle. You heat the water using rubbish (I burn what would go into the paper recycle bin) or bits of wood. They're for outside use and are camping gear (which is why I got mine) but they are very useful at home too if you have the time to feed them cardboard while they boil.
Good luck. I do think you are being treated unfairly though.

He is prioritising spending money on exotic holidays over the health and wellbeing of his child.

If a child was crying with pain because their shoes were too small but their father wouldn't buy them a new pair because they aren't worn out and he doesn't like waste, despite being happy to spend money on longhaul holidays then most people would agree that is abusive.

Likewise if the child was crying with hunger but the parent refused to buy more food despite having the means then that would be abusive.

You say you are crying with cold and living in a house cold enough to cause health problems. Your father can afford to heat the property to minimum healthy levels. He refuses to do so but his happy to waste money on holidays.

If you are being honest then he's abusive.

That you can't see the abuse suggests he's been gaslighting you all your life and you think it is normal.

Move out urgently. Into a shared house if that's all you can afford. You will be healthier and happier.

Get a thorough blood test done its not normal to get cold to the bone.... iron throid b12 all spring to mind. At least rule out any healrh issue. Hope you can warm up soon.

I wear more clothes.

Someone thought they were "dressing warmly" earlier in the thread and described their top half as having three layers. No. You need to start with a thermal layer, including longjohns/warm tights, then add a couple more light layers before outer layers. And a scarf/polo neck is really important, because cold necks get everything else cold. None of those daft ¾ length sleeves either. You need your sleeves to cover half your hands.

Honestly, if you feel as cold as you're describing, wear more clothes.

Uniqlo heat tech leggings and top under everything. If it's absolutely freezing I put tights on under the leggings. Then layers. Last time it was very very cold I think I was wearing about four layers of clothing, but it works.