WWYD?

Only to avoid bad blood going forward...give the money back, but don't do anything for them in the future. Avoid if needed, see how future plays out

She should recieve her share of it.

You agreed to help her. Knowing it meant taking a degree of responsibility because you were the driver to do legally it had to be your card. But if this had gone as planned either she should have, as agreed, repaid you the deposit or if it was refunded it was yours and you should get that part.

I dont think its unreasonable to ask her for your train fare if you cant get it from the company. Or remind her if she owes you deposit money. But not more than that.

I genuinely dont get why youre this huffy and entitled over something you agreed to take responsibility for. And tbh most hire companies have a contact number for if their vehicle breaks down. They were stressed, with all their stuff in a van that might need to be taken to a garage with no way to transport their things and no way to reach their destination. They were probably stressing about what they would do. And Im not saying you werent stressed, but all you will have needed to do is call, report the breakdown and wait. You didnt need to worry about all your possessions being stranded at the roadside 200 miles from home. You made a call and waited.

But because they haven't asked about your hard time, you want to negotiate a return of their money and keep it? Why is your stress greater than theirs? Why would it entitle you to their refund? Why if its hurt your feelings that she hasnt asked haven't you told her?

I would certainly make sure all your expenses are paid then I would refund the rest to your friend once she contacts you. If she can't be bothered to contact you why should you chase after her.

I do see your point, and it’s a shitty situation. But you still can’t take money that she paid.

take the deposit and train fare, and money for snacks / food etc throughout the day, and give her the rest.

i would probably never talk to her again though.

how do you know her? And how long have you known her? Are you male or female? Just wondering if there’s any romantic expectations or expecting you to help with something she sees as a man’s job?

Reading this made me shudder, remembering years ago how I helped a friend move miles away. She organised the brand new van hire and I similarly paid the deposit on my card. All furniture moved, as planned, and then when driving the van home alone in the early hours, after a seriously long day..... an uninsured drunk driver in a stolen van, smashed into the back of me on the motorway on the way home! Unbelievably scary and still can't believe how I managed to weave along from side to side and end up on the hard shoulder. I spent all night with the police, ambulance etc and was eventually taken home by a recovery vehicle,the brand new van having been written off .I then spent months battling with the hire company who tried (unsuccessfully) to take me to court for the excess. There was no real acknowledgement of the impact of all this or thanks from now ex friend either!! Just a horrible, horrible experience!!

You're most welcome original commenter 🤗I didn't for 1moment assume you wished for any of her money & confused why some would presume this 💚🤔💚What I find most upsetting is your friend not bothering to check how you are, offer at least to pay you back for the train fare, or even give acknowledgement for how stressful & draining the whole situation was 😢Personally I feel she/he does know how much you went through & sacrificed, she/he's just feeling embarrassment so wishing to sweep it under the carpet - In the hope it will just blow over - But of course ill feeling is the result, instead - Maybe you could try to express your disappointments to clear the air - Honestly don't feel you've anything to lose but it might open the door for your friend to stop living in denial of the upset & the honesty gives her a chance to save a good friendship - Because you've been a loyal friend & I'm sure she/he won't wish to lose you
💚🫂💚

If you they don’t refund you should be sending a bill to your friend for the deposit and train fare. You should not be a cent out of pocket for the very kind favour you did for your friend.

Agree with this

How is it a grey area? She paid for a service. The service was unreliable. A refund was negotiated. Its her refund.

Dont negotiate for it if you dont want to do the graft for it, you arent obliged to do it for her. And if thats means there isn't one so be it.

But dont negotiate a refund of her money and decide its yours. Thats full CF

I'm so sorry that your friend hasn't even bothered to check how you are since - Following everything you did to help your friend 😢Maybe they're too embarrassed to bring it up, & /or acknowledge what you went through, because you wouldn't have gone through so much stress, if she/he hadn't requested your noble help
Thinking of you & I'm praying you find the words to express your disappointment with this whole experience 🫂

Yes I find it upsetting too how this "friend" hasn't even asked how her dear helpful friend is, since the distressing incident, even to this day 😥

You aren't entitled to her refund no. I thinks she should have paid your train fair back though and apologized and acknowledged what a stress it was at the very least. I probably would have got you a gift to say thank you.

Goodness, I'm wondering who the CF is here! No you can't keep her money. What a thing to suggest! You take only what your owed and no more.

The van breaking down was nobodies fault but the hire companies and the fact you agreed to all this makes the fact you had to sort it not your friends problem!

I think youre massively over reacting. A hired van broke down... it must happen all the time. You rang becuase it was in your name, they sent recovery. Your friend could have, and should have checked in - but probably she was stressed too not knowing what this would mean for getting their stuff home and has just forgotten. Or wrongly assumed it was her move day, her worrying about her things broken down in the road and the general stress of moving she was more stressed and hasnt been as considerate as she should.

They didnt do this on purpose and they didnt make yoh handle it, as the one with the driving licence unfortunately it had to be your card and therefore you making the calls.

And you didnt need to do this favour but you did and now are blaming them because you were inconvenienced as were they.

You defo shouldnt be out of pocket. I dont know why youre thinking of stealing from your friend because you made some phone calls and caught a train so youre entitled to it?

And tbh the voting thing.. I was initially confused because you said both they paid and it was on your card. Any money, you paid you should get back, and any money they paid they should get back less any additional costs you incurred.

I’d take the money - they are a CF and won’t offer you a penny

You shouldn't be out of pocket. So you should get your deposit and any other costs you incurred, like the train. The rest should be returned to your friend because its hers.

Self help would be shitty

I think you should do an invoice if you are able to secure a refund: calculate the cost of calls, your train fare/meals during the day and any other costs and deduct them from the refund. With luck you can achieve a refund of 25p or similarly banal and you send the refund together with the invoice.

The friendship is likely to be over, but I’d die on this hill, myself. Especially as it seems to be dead in the water now anyway.

And next time a CF asks for something like this, say No.

If I wanted to make a point I'd transfer back the amount your friend paid less anything you are out of pocket by (so the train fare / extra mileage) but I'd probably just send back what she paid and be done with it.

Either way the friendship is over but it's whether you want to make a point or take the high road?

I know everyone is saying refund her minus your expenses. The poll says otherwise though!
Under these very unusual circumstances and her lack of thank you, you could keep the money. The rental firm wont be talking to her and its between the van firm and you.
Play it by ear and see how she treats you going forward? Sounds like a horrible day.

take out all the costs, including your train fare, and what is left belongs to her

Do not be a penny out of pocket, take any of your costs out of the amount

Shes not a person that I would think of as a friend

Take the money owed to you including the train fare,out of the refund.

Never see or speak to your 'friend' again

Think carefully before agreeing again to help someone in such a "big" way