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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not buy DS16 the clothes he wants

105 replies

ThatLimeNewt · 19/11/2025 20:16

DS16 wants to wear a black puffer, black nike hoodie and joggers, nike crossbody bag and a nike beanie / snood. I am refusing to buy these all black clothes as it will make him look dodgy or like a "roadman". Is it concerning that DS wants to dress in such a manner? AIBU to refuse to buy these clothes for him? Would you let your child dress like this? Also wearing nike head to toe seems a bit ludicrous to me 😂

OP posts:
Jeschara · 19/11/2025 23:51

You are very controlling, my ex Mother in law was like it with her sons clothes, it did not end well, the kids resented her.
The lad earns his own money and you don't even give him an allowance, you then say you won't buy him what he wants. It's not about you. Terrible parenting, to the point I hope this post is made up.

PortSalutPlease · 19/11/2025 23:43

I live in a very well to do area just round the corner from one of the major public schools and it’s what literally all the teens wear. Well, more North Face than Nike but all black athleisure.

BerryTwister · 19/11/2025 23:32

Solenoid · 19/11/2025 20:22

Why are you buying your sixteen year old's clothes rather than giving him an allowance to learn to budget with (supplimented if feasible where you live - it isn't everywhere obviously - by some sort of part time/ Saturday or summer holiday job)so he can buy his own clothes?

That's why you're unreasonable.

You don't gatekeep a sixteen year old's clothes shopping except to set a budget you are comfortable with/ can afford.

Edited

@Solenoid Christmas maybe?

CrossChecking · 19/11/2025 23:04

I'm in Ireland and that's the teenage uniform here too. My 16yo dd recently branched out to a beige Nike puffer instead black and now when I see her out and about I can differentiate her from all of the other teen girls in airforce 1s, black leggings and black Nike puffers.

MyAcornWood · 19/11/2025 23:03

Fuck me, what a miserable way to live. Wearing horrible clothes will not make your son into a criminal, obviously. Let the kid wear what he wants, the days of you choosing his clothes are long since passed I’m afraid!

therewasafishinthepercolator · 19/11/2025 23:03

Bigearringsbigsmile · 19/11/2025 20:47

I wouldn't buy him clothes that make him look like a criminal no.
It's only standard teen wear for a certain set of kids.

That's not true. Certain set my eye.

therewasafishinthepercolator · 19/11/2025 23:01

At 16 he should pick his own clothes. Nike is indeed standard. Yabu.

I'm not a fan of that look either but that's DS's uniform. Nike, Northface, Represent. 😕 Its his choice. Not a big deal.

I just keep him going that I won't be funding it forever; he'll have to work hard and get a good job as it would appear that dressing like a crack dealer is expensive business. 😁

soundsys · 19/11/2025 22:59

Bigearringsbigsmile · 19/11/2025 20:47

I wouldn't buy him clothes that make him look like a criminal no.
It's only standard teen wear for a certain set of kids.

It really isn't!

Totally standard teen boy clothing OP

UnimatrixZeroOne · 19/11/2025 22:51

ThatLimeNewt · 19/11/2025 22:24

He doesn't get any pocket money but hes earning some money by tutoring

Show quote history

The fuck? Poor thing.

BillieWiper · 19/11/2025 22:45

What sixteen year old allows their parents to dress them?! Would you have worn what your dad told you to at that age?

It's just black clothing so plain and practical and doesn't show dirt. And Nike is a decent quality brand without being ridiculously expensive like the 'designer' brands some teens seem to covet.

If price is an issue then make it a joint Xmas and birthday gift or just only pay for a couple, not all he wants.

Either way as far as I'm concerned as soon as children can physically dress themselves and vocalise what they want to wear then they should be permitted to do so. Within reason obviously. Weather and age appropriate.

Agapornis · 19/11/2025 22:36

When do you plan to teach him how to manage a budget? He needs a clothing allowance at the very least.

JoWilkinsonsno1fan · 19/11/2025 22:34

Poor lad - he gets no pocket money and his mother is policing his clothes!!

You need to give your head a wobble!!

Original poster
ThatLimeNewt · 19/11/2025 22:24

Agapornis · 19/11/2025 21:27

Does his pocket money only stretch to a balaclava?

He's old enough to have a budget and find out how much this will cost him. Might make him think twice.

He doesn't get any pocket money but hes earning some money by tutoring

OP posts:
Haveyouanyjam · 19/11/2025 22:08

As long as it’s not paired with a balaclava or a stab vest, or he’s got several Nokias, then you’re fine.

DrCoconut · 19/11/2025 22:01

I'm guessing a roadman isn't someone with a hi viz and a pneumatic drill 🤣Not heard that term before. My DS is 14 and not bothered about labels as long as the overall look and feel is ok.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/11/2025 21:41

Bigearringsbigsmile · 19/11/2025 20:47

I wouldn't buy him clothes that make him look like a criminal no.
It's only standard teen wear for a certain set of kids.

I live in a Luvvie area with an outstanding secondary. All the kids there wear that sort of stuff. Some of them are proper posh.

There are no roadmen round here afaik.

Sartre · 19/11/2025 21:34

You can’t police a teenager’s clothing unless it’s outrageously scanty. What he’s wearing sounds like 90% of all teenage boys in the country.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/11/2025 21:32

My 17yr old gets a set amount to spend on clothes, he manages it himself and at first it was all black, I took note of what types/brands and bought some pieces in different colours, blue, gray, navy and white and he wears them now, I'd say he prefers white now over black.

Agapornis · 19/11/2025 21:27

Does his pocket money only stretch to a balaclava?

He's old enough to have a budget and find out how much this will cost him. Might make him think twice.

Ketzele · 19/11/2025 21:11

I just draw the line at a bally

Brightbluesomething · 19/11/2025 21:00

Completely unreasonable and very judgy. This is what teens wear. Glad you’re not my mam.

Holluschickie · 19/11/2025 21:00

DS also used to wear the Northface jacket..😂

Juniperberry55 · 19/11/2025 20:58

I would let him wear what he likes tbh, as long as it's in budget. If it's not in budget, let him know what the budget is and let him decide which things he wants within that budget. I had a mother who I would ask for certain clothes, nothing crazy, revealing or expensive and then she would ignore it and buy me clothes I hated instead because she preferred the colour/style. Those clothes stayed in the wardrobe unworn for years. When I started working I bought all my own clothes, so she had no control over it at that point but I can't tell you how disappointing it is when your mother buys you clothes you'd feel embarrassed to leave the house in, I would rather she didn't buy me anything at Christmas/birthday than give me something she knew I wouldn't like or wear

OhDearMuriel · 19/11/2025 20:57

Yadnbu
It is roadman stand issue uniform.

I would steer him away from it personally.

NoSoupForU · 19/11/2025 20:57

It's absolutely ludicrous to still be choosing clothes for a 16 year old.