Son not invited to friend’s birthday party (13)

Oh they all told you themselves did they

Jihad does not necessarily mean terrorism or war. It refers to struggle and effort

I can't believe a sizable amount of people think this and would agree with you imo.

Their 13, not 17. He was excluded and it could have lead to other problems within the group or affected her sons mental health. Ofcourse he's going to say he's fine.

I'm really impressed the op bit the bullet and asked fairly politely but directly and didn't let anyone involved stew in the unknowns - as that's what happens.

Now they have the answer that's cut so much guess work out and probably saved the kid a lot of unessairy grief.

Also 'impressed' with the mums forthright response even if it's a strange reason to leave a boy out of a b.day party

Being brave and Clearing the air obviously is the better option. Mindblown to think letting this fester would have been better?

The problem with displaying flags is that it’s not like having a real life discussion with someone who has opposing views. It’s a statement that for some people will look like you’re waving a flag that says “I support terrorists”.

It’s a bit like flying the England flag, could mean anything from “I love my country in a normal way and embrace the diverse culture we have” to “I’m a raging racist and wish all the non-white people would leave”. Most people don’t put out the England flag just in case the latter assumptions are made.

While I think it was wrong for your DS to be excluded, I would make sure you stay politically neutral when speaking to other parents going forward and never imposing your views on any of your children’s visiting friends.

I think it's very important before nailing my colours to a mast to make sure that I have understood ALL of the issues/points before making public declarations that have/could have consequences on those dear to me, especially on matters that don't directly affect me or my family in the here and now. There have been a lot of knee-jerk reactions to "news" that let's face it comes with bias depending on the source of that information. The amount of mis-information out there is staggering.
I don't have enough accurate/reliable information to make any declarations regarding genocide. If you want to go off half-cocked, have at it.

How about not supporting a country that is led by terrorists, who many of the people in that country support the terrorists, and the terrorists stated single reason for existing is the genocide of all Jews.

So you think the children should pay the price for this?

I don't.

👏👏👏

Well said @FOJN

I suppose it comes down to what you think is more important. Your child being invited to a party or opposing genicide.

I can too.

Happened to my child. Almost identical situation. Village school. 5 boys. All invited except my son. I woudn't mind but the Mum still had the nerve to keep asking me to pick her son up for her. I was furious for a while I have to admit. Still all playing together online like you say.

Either invite everyone or just invite 2. That's always been my rule. But to leave just one child out is plain nasty.

OP, this is always the risk of publicly showing your affiliations to any cause, be that Palestine, trans ideology, Reform party, whatever. It can have repercussions on your children - it shouldn't but sadly it does. I have memories back to the days of the miner's strike... you did not want to be the child of someone who crossed the picket lines. Being uninvited from a party would have been the least of their worries! I was fortunate that it didn't affect me (DF was not a miner) but I saw people who were.
Given that you live in a 'smallish community', I would possibly be a little more careful showing support for anything that could be considered contentious.

As someone who had family die in Auschwitz (well in the train on the way to be accurate) can I say, @PeoniesGinandBags good on you for openly opposing genocide.
It is brave to openly state opposition to those in power. I am in awe of the Israeli and Jewish people who regularly attended anti-genocide demonstrations.

The religion, colour or creed of those being killed is immaterial. Mass murder is wrong.

What you think most people support PP.
I think you will find if you did a survey of the 70 million people or however many there are in the country you would be hard pushed to even be able to remotely quote “most people”.

That isn't the case actually. Most people support PP marchers. I have personal experience of this. It's very positively treated, at least in the area of the UK I live in.

well now you know. And good on her for calling you out on the flag waving (know much about the conflict do you?).
Not that it should affect your boys’ friendship - she’s wrong on that.

”As you well know” referred to your hints that you’re a lawyer - you know exactly how the burden of proof works.

By your argument - genocide has only occurred when a court says it has: ”And if there's been no legal ruling establishing a genocide, then you cannot say a genocide has taken place.”

Except you can see that Bosnia was genocide regardless of the court’s view which was rather my point.

Anyway I thought the discussion was over - you’re the one who kept going.

She has her views, you have yours, but that's no reason not to invite your son. It's a shame.

I think pushing your way into your child’s friendships and disagreements would be the first red flag for me. The second would be pushing yourself onto the other kids parents and dragging them into your child’s disagreements. The third is definitely pushing your political views publicly onto others. Through flags at home or opinions on Facebook etc.

Your last paragraph, I didn’t know that.
That does seem strange.
I don’t hold much hope of UN being much use, even without hearing this.
Why on earth where they not putting pressure on.

Why do people say "as you well know" when replying as if that's an argument. Baffling.

In Bosnia there was actually a genocide. That's the difference.

Let's not argue. We've agreed to disagree. I will kindly let you have the last word though if you prefer.

So explain the findings of the HRC Commission and the provisional measures of the ICJ.

Innocent until proven guilty is a mechanism in court to the effect that the burden of proof lies with the prosecution - as you well know.

Genocide in Bosnia occurred well before the ICTY & ICJ established that it had occurred.

Would you have argued the Srebrenica massacre wasn’t genocide ahead of the trials?

Personally I can understand her reasons.

I thought I was going to think OP shouldn't get overly involved in the situation and should just support her son but the update is shocking and I see quite a few posters have taken the opportunity to start an Israel vs Palestine debate which is completely irrelevant to the issue here.

The families have always got on because of the boys friendship but birthday boys mum is incapable of being civil to people she disagrees with on a political issue and has decided to punish a 13 year old boy for the "sins" of the mother. What an example to set to her own child. You can see how people become siloed into echo chambers where they are utterly convinced that not only are they right but they hold the majority view.

The woman is ridiculous and it's awful for an adult to punish a child for their parents opinions. The boys have no issue with each other so birthday boys mum needs to grow up. I hope she doesn't have to deal with the public in her job.