Son not invited to friend’s birthday party (13)

Yes, it's strange to be fine with the mum when messaging but then to punish the son who's done nothing wrong. OP might never have asked why he wasn't invited. Strange way to make a point.

Any adult would just grin and bear it and invite the friend of their children. How childish is she?

@Snowonground
I do agree with you on this one.
I think flags in general over the last few years have been divisive to many communities.
Hopefully @PeoniesGinandBags will have learnt that from this thread.

I do think it's important to respond to this woman who has excluded her DC because of these flags. She needs to say thanks for her letting her know the reason and she's glad it's not because of the DC falling out. She needs to point out that she shouldn't have excluded her DC because of this difference of opinion and that a solution of dropping off could have been sorted out. Basically they are adults and they need to model good behaviour to their DC.

It was very nasty to exclude your son based on those reasons. It’s confusing though when you said you and her message all the time. Then was her chance to bring it up with you not liking your political statement of the flags, but she waited until her son’s birthday party to make a point. I bet all the other parents also the reason why your son wasn’t invited as well.

At 13 they should manage their own friendships and party invites, you are both still trying to micromanage their friendships/party invites like they are 4!! I think you both need to take a step back, flag waving or not.

WTF? She sound unhinged. I’m so sorry for your son OP, that’s a really mean thing to do. I hope he’s ok and finds some friends whose parents aren’t so nasty.

Yeah, because it's her child's fault.

Exactly snow. It’s crashing into someone else’s conflict without a full understanding in your hob nailed boots in search of cookies for virtue signalling. Unfortunately for op it’s backfired.

The fact that Jewish people are fearful in the UK should make any reasonable person think twice about flying the Palestinian flag. There's absolutely no reason to do so in your garden apart from virtue signalling.

Oof how do you respond to that?
Look she's clearly a dick effectively punishing your child is disgusting I think she'll sabotage their friendship further (speak from experience here) encourage your son to strengthen his friendships with other people to protect himself

@Snowonground actually I wouldn't assume anyone who flies the Palestinian flag is antisemitic.

My DH is Jewish as is all his family. They are all appalled with what Netanyahu and his government are doing in Gaza. I don't think this stance is uncommon.

She doesn't like your politics so she takes it out on your son? She needs to give her head a wobble.

What does her son think of the situation?

And there are a vast majority in this country who aren't Jewish but are appalled that Jews have been made to feel fearful in the UK and can feel pretty offended on their behalf.

I would just say to this point op that fair enough, you may know this family well enough to know for sure that they are not Jewish, but also take care with presumptions.

Due to the current climate, there are many Jewish people who actively avoid telling people they are Jewish.

I’m Jewish (although also an atheist) and non of my work colleagues know, and nor does anyone at our school or nursery.

I agree with this 👆. It's pretty silly to put 6 flags up in your garden, showing support for a country that started a war. The Muslim people will love your allegiance but it upsets people who have links to Israel and those who oppose Hamas the head of the terrorist group. I oppose Hamas and would think badly of your woke ass supporting him. Take the flags down and bin them. Yes there are victims on both sides. But the flag shows support for the Palestine government and that is not on.

Exactly snow. And agree with pp this is a massively complex situation that has gone on for thousands of years one I would be very slow to publicly pin my colours to the mast on. Two members of my immediate family best friends are Jewish so this would definitely cause upset.

I also find it slightly questionable that it is this conflict that stirs up such passion over here unlike various other equally as horrific conflicts going on in the world.

Fair enough. It's a logical reason.
Now you know.
Diplaying flags in the front garden is very political, unless you are Palestinian or living in Palestine.

It's very sad how war and terrorism overseas infiltrates into our very own society - sometimes causing rifts in neighbourhoods just like yours. We should protect our peaceful mixture of multiculturalism.

Many people need to live kindly among others and not hear disastrous news from overseas. It can be too much to fathom. Seems like the boy's family is like this.

A teachable moment? Dear god. Yes I would love to spend my precious free time being lectured at by my kids friends flag waving mother 🙄.

Exactly. And anyone who overtly displays flags which have caused British Jews to be frightened in this country is not someone I would be keen for my kids to hang around with.

As a parent I would be uncomfortable with someone flying flags like this in their garden so can see her concern. However I would never exclude my child (particularly teenager) from a birthday party or hanging around with my child.

My son is 13 and I actually cant imagine having that much involvement in who he invites to his birthday party. She is way to involved in her teenage sons friendships. I actually don't even know most of my 13 year olds friend's parents as he made mostly new friend's when he went to secondary (apart from his primary best friend).

I am really glad about this as the drama that some of his primary school parents friend's caused was unreal. Most of the parents including me were delighted to see the back of them.

Says a lot about you

So if I found out that one of my DC's friend's parents had different political leanings to me, it wouldn't stop me from inviting their DC around to parties or being friendly to the parents

What would make me think twice is if they were any of the following: racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic and their DC was starting to spout the same bile.

Good for her for being honest in her response to you. And I respect her reasoning.

The question under debate is not Palestnian flag vs Israeli flag. No one in the scenario being discussed has displayed an Israeli flag. This is just pathetic whataboutery because you couldn't answer the PP's points.

Tbf I bet a lot of people on this thread would have an issue if someone was overtly a Reform voter. So it works both ways. The Palestinian issue has brought a lot of anti semetism to British Jews so the flag has now become a symbol of hatred to many.

Politics is best kept personal in my view.