Son not invited to friend’s birthday party (13)

Excluding your son like that was weird and totally not the right thing if they are friends.

However, you were flying the flag of a government that literally pays its citizens to murder Jewish people, and whose manifesto states its goal is to destroy Israel and rid the world of Jewish people, and you were doing this in the aftermath of the deadliest terrorist attack in Israel's history.

How would you feel if you neighbour were flying flags in support of Isis and Al Qaeda? Hamas is no different.

But they are happy to annihilate others, that makes total sense! To be honest, I am glad that most don’t think like you, and can see what’s happening for what it is!

Wow. I’d respond saying I’m not sure I want my son mixing with someone whose parents are so unkind, but of course I wouldn’t leave a child out due to something out of their control. Then I’d buy a bigger flag.

There’s a local shop I’ve used for years, the owner’s whole social media feeds have been given over to Palestine - posts about her weeping over Gaza, really dodgy cartoons, AI photos. I’m not invested in the conflict, or any other, and I think her behaviour is just weird. She sells socks, hand cream, vases, that sort of thing, and when you go in the shop there are fliers and posters for Palestine fundraisers everywhere. I’ve stopped shopping there and I’d do the same with any shop where the owners politics were pushed like that

Yes, do tell your son so that he knows it’s not about him.

I can't believe flying Palestinian flags is controversial, they are literally going through a genocide. Children are being killed daily, thousands are living with life changing injuries with zero standing hospitals and even more are starving to death. Surely its fair to show support for those poor babies by putting a couple of flags up.

I mean "virtue signalling" helped crush South African apartheid at the end of the day. I think thats what people are actually trying to achieve.

I can't believe anyone can look at Palestinian kids and think, yeah you deserve it. I don't know anyone who supports Palestine and is antisemitic either, I hate that that accusation is used to stifle support for those poor souls. 😔

I’m Jewish, I have family in Israel and I support Palestinian liberation (not Hamas). She’s a nutter.

You obviously have your opinions, I would assume strong opinions if you put up loads of (small) flags, she obviously strongly disagrees. Unfortunate for the children, but at least you know.

Sorry - she didn’t say your son spoke about them. Presumably it’s her son being around you that’s causing her concern.

Sounds like you have strong political views. Those views are contentious. And her reply makes it sound like your son also talks about politics, and she is uncomfortable with this. So she’s happy for your sons to be friends, but she’s probably hoping they’ll drift apart now at secondary.

i don’t think either of you are being unreasonable.

you’re entitled to have strong political beliefs, she’s entitled to see those as a red flag and walk away. Whether the kids stay friends will depend whether they agree with their parents.

Gosh well weird as it is, I hope you tell your son that it was to do with you not him! Obviously you don’t want him to resent you, but it’s more important that he knows it wasn’t at all to do with him and it wasn’t his friend’s choice.

I would listen to the wisdom of Michelle Obama e.g. 'when they go low we go high'. Keep acting in accordance to your values and don't let someone like that change who you are, so still invite the boy to your son's birthday party in the future etc

Wow I was not expecting that reply! Bringing politics (whichever side) into a child's friendship is not ok.

Oh yikes. Why would she punish a child because she does not like you?

How do you know your son didn't decline/lose/forget the invite?

Makes me wonder if half of these are real!

Im amazed that people don’t think this through when doing their flag waving. If you are ensconced in a community that all strongly agree with the cause I guess it’s one thing but not otherwise. I don’t even put mainstream political party posters up as I run a business and don’t want to antagonise anyone that is not of that affiliation.

At least you can tell your DS so he knows it isn’t about him! Hopefully you can have a laugh about it.

my thoughts exactly. if they're happy playing online together, this obviously hasn't affected their relationship too much.

Wow that’s quite interesting.
but at least you can explain to her son that

1. it’s not about him 2) parents have different political views 3) some people choose to limit their kids friendship based on political views and although you’d never do it, it’s your friend’s mom choice

good opportunity to talk about that

mom is wrong IMO. She can exclude YOU but to exclude your son is very strange and wrong

This is a good opportunity to discuss the complexities of friendships with your son.

I'm glad the mum told you the truth .... you are obviously political as you are flying the flags so you should understand her reaction. I've unfriended people on Facebook for views that offended me before ..politics is very important to some people. It's a shame she took that out on your son though.

Now I know reasons behind the rejection have I changed my mind? No. You should have left well alone as you have achieved nothing by interfering. Apart from ensuring you and the other boy’s mum can probably never be friends, which is bound to affect your son’s relationship with his pal.

And maybe take your silly flags down? I would eye roll at someone putting flags up for something that they are not directly involved in.

I can’t believe that you messaged the other mum, these are 13 year olds not 7 year olds. You’ve embarrassed yourself and your son by getting so involved.
Your son wasn’t that bothered about not going and maturely has continued his friendship. You have now made it a whole lot worse for him. Well done you.

The update , jeez . I can't believe she used your support of Palestine to leave your child out of a birthday party. Seems like there might be more to it . I hope your ds is OK and can remain friends with her ds.