To think I’ve blown my chances of looking after DGD again

Sorry but holding a toddler in one arm while fiddling with "tea" and the microwave isn't an "accident." It's extremely poor judgment.

What if she had been pulling the "tea" out of the microwave,and hot food had been dumped on the kid when it did its flip? Sorry, but there is no excuse.

Perfect

best not make hot tea with a toddler in one hand. They probably realise how much worse it could have been and that you made a poor decision. If this is a one off it will likely blow over with time. If this is one of many unsafe situations they maybe questioning if you can keep her safe. In your shoes I’d be overly careful when seeing the baby next so that they can see you’re being extra careful.

I'm sorry, but if your family can't accept that accidents can just happen and aren't necessarily someone's fault, then they're just arseholes. You've managed to keep your own kids and other grandchildren alive for years.

If it feels like an elephant in the room, maybe you could mention it just to address that you feel terrible. Something like " I've noticed yiu havent asked me to babysit since the incident. I totally understand why and I feel absolutely terrible about the whole thing. I just want you to know that whenever you feel comfortable with it, i am here" or something

we had a similar incident happen once. Grandparent holding small child on their hip. Both parents in the room. Child unexpectedly arched their back exactly as you describe and toppled straight head over heels of the grandparent's grasp. Thankfully the baby in our case landed on a sofa so no harm was done but it was still a massive shock for everyone. Grandparent was more distressed than the child or parents. Was tough to fight parental protective instincts but grandparent was very sorry and upset / anxious about holding the baby again. We build up confidence and trust (grandparents own as well as parents) but they did continue to care for grandchildren afterwards.

It was an accident but I think if you don't spend much time with the child usually and aren't familiar with their movements that can be difficult and they grow so fast at that age and develop strength that surprises you. I'd just be more wary now you're aware.

My ILs and my mum looked after my toddler twins once a week each and then had them after school a day a week each until they started secondary school. I have no idea if one of them was dropped or injured whilst in their care. I just had to trust them to do the right thing.

In my mind, this wasn’t an accident. You dropped a 1yo from almost your height because you were doing two different tasks that both require two hands. This is like an adult falling from a 10 foot ladder. It’s really serious and totally unnecessary. I wouldn’t have held my own child and tried to make tea, I certainly wouldn’t someone else’s child. You should be more careful. I don’t let my in-laws look after my kids. They once lost one of my children which was bad enough but they were too busy blaming it on each other to look for her or even apologise. I appreciate it wasn’t intentional (on your part and my in-laws) but it’s just not worth what could have been in both circumstances really serious consequences.

If you were my mum or MIL I would be making sure YOU are ok too (once I had ascertained that the child was ok and did not require medical attention). I certainly wouldn't be expecting an apology. I am not the one hurt. It was an accident.
I hurt my arm at my gran's house and had to have an operation. She still took care of me until I was old enough to care for myself.
Your GC will have accidents under her parents' care too.

As parents we all have accidents w our DC. DD fell from her cot and hurt her arm, also I tripped when pushing the buggy (she was tiny) and went straight to get her checked out as it fell backwards DS managed to touch the oven shelf and blistered his hand - cue me ringing GP in a panic.

We’ve all been there, but dropping is quite full-on. But I expect you’d be much more careful in future.

Give it time.

And stop beating yourself up about it. Accidents happen. And she recovered quickly.

My last child was a forceps delivery. He looked like hey Arnold it was traumatic for me. He was crying constantly every night for 6 weeks until I sent him to a Osteopath and he performed cranial osteopathy.

This thread is about the op and her situation and the toddler is fine. She probably felt better after a hug and rubbed her head. There was probably no need for A&E it's all very dramatic and over the top to tell the op after it's happened.

She have said he was 2 years old.

I’m agog at these stories, and I assume from parents, how on earth is that remotely similar to dropping a baby on their head?

I was looking after my grandson and he put his fingers in the door hinges as we were going out,. Obviously he cried as I was shutting the door, so I checked it out and luckily no damage. I was mortified and called my daughter and she was ok,saying she said the same thing happened to her with him. I was so upset I felt like saying I can’t look after him anymore. Fortunately it happened after I had been looking after him for a full year one day a week. It happens.

When dd1 was little I slipped down some stairs at the swimming pool and dropped DD on her head. It happens, I think it's unkind of them to hold it against you.

But again this is a baby, with a soft skull.

That would have really stressed me out to be honest. I remember clear as daylight the 2 near misses when I almost dropped a baby. I wouldn’t downplay actually dropping them for a moment.

I’m sorry but I think thr ops situation is significantly worse, a baby was dropped on their head on a hard floor. The fact the baby wasn’t injured doesn’t change that.

Really sorry OP, you obviously didn't want anything like this happen.
I'd find other ways of spending time with the child until she's a bit older, then ask the parents if you can be sole carer for a short time, having talked through all possible hazards with them.

This is categorically incorrect and I have reported the post for spreading false information about such a serious topic.

For starters, they need to be seen by a medical professional (GP, OOH, A&E) if they fall from any height taller than themselves and bash their heads. For a one year old this will be significantly less than a metre.

OP, accidents do happen but this feels more likely recklessness and I also wouldn't ask you to have my child again. Sorry.

Yeah I have to say I’m sorry but I wouldn’t let you look after my child again after that until they were older. People don’t just drop 1 year olds unless they’re being careless!

My mum was looking after my 2 year old daughter and trying to feed (a bit forcefully I gather from the fact that daughter struggled) her and daughter ended up chipping her tooth badly on a plate, tooth then turned brown and fell out so she had a gap until her adult teeth came in years later. I wasn't best pleased but in this case my mum had basically tried to make her eat something she didn't want to- but it was all forgiven and we moved on and my mum looked after her again and your situation is no where near as bad as that so I'm sure you'll be fine.

Yeah, one of my 4 used to do this. The other 3 didn't so it can be something that takes you by surprise. Maybe it's more about the child being a bit of a handful than about you. Is she quite strong willed?

How is your strength, balance, grasp & reaction time op?

My own mother in law was fine with my older nieces and nephews but remarkably less capable physically as she aged, she really struggled to hold my heavy DS securely as a squirmy toddler. If you are aware this is the case for you its best to acknowledge that, to yourself as much as to your DC, because its really important that you can keep a little one safe holding them.

While it might be a bit upsetting for you the safety of the child trumps your disappointment