To think that beyond a certain point you're not really inviting people for a meal...

That’s very odd. If he invites again just say you have a commitment just before and you come for when the food is ready. If pushed say you aren’t interested in helping with preparation.

The manky house alone is an immediate no from me, let alone doing the cooking and bringing the cheeky fucker whiskey.
So many no’s.

@JohnPeel Jabberwocky en Francais ! 🤣🤣🤣 Fucks sake

The manky house alone is an immediate no from me, let alone doing the cooking and bringing the cheeky fucker whiskey.
So many no’s.

Although Lidl do quite a decent whisky

What happened to asking for a bottle of wine, single malt whisky is so cheeky! That's clearly just for him, whereas wine would be for having with the meal together and a lot cheaper.
So yanbu just for that, let alone all the other shenanigans.

I've never experienced it like that but I think it's normal to take a bottle of wine and chip in with the prep.

One of my favourite things to do on Friday eve is share a bottle of wine with good company while I cook and e.g. if the cheese needs grating I'll pass them the grater.

I'm definitely in charged of the planning and organising though.

BF will always bring wine and dessert and do the washing up, if I'm cooking.

Yes, I’ve had this. Including a party supposedly thrown to thank me for (a big) something and I ended up doing all the hosting. The worst culprit was probably a widowed male relative who invited people to his holiday home and then absolutely expected them to shop and cook for themselves and him as he’d been kind enough to invite them!

I have never encountered this for a dinner invitation. It wouldn’t bother me though.

Pretty normal if you’ve been invited for the weekend- I’d much rather chat with my friend while we cook together than have her all alone in the kitchen while everyone else is having fun.

This made me laugh out loud! Thank you, OP. And no, not BU at all, he's a CF and I would feel exactly the same as you.

As everyone else has said, you either host (with perhaps friends bringing a pud or crisps or something if you've been flat out all week but no more than that), or you don't. I bet he's the type to boast about his clever "hack" which involves getting everyone else to do the work. Ugh.

Definitely a stone soup scenario 😄

Never heard of that, especially the whiskey!

Oh god that’s the worst isn’t it? Sat there hungry and awkward wondering when you’ll be eating. At least give me some snacks while I’m waiting 😂 I went to a gender reveal recently and we waited 2 hours before any food was ready (some people had left already so clearly they also thought it was excessive). And I swear to you it was food that I could have prepared / warmed up in 20 minutes. I think some people aren’t actually capable of catering for a few people which is fine but don’t invite me, trapping me somewhere where I have no access to any other food and then make me wait 2 hours! I also think that people have a weird thing where they expect you to stay for ages in a ‘you owe me.’ kind of way because they’re feeding you. But I’m a really good cook and I spend a lot of money on quality ingredients so it’s not a favour to me that someone is giving me something I could have done better myself 🙈

It would be great to know how old your are OP???

DD also had ME/CFS so I know just how drained it can make you feel, but it took a long time before anyone took his "too tired to do anything useful around the house" seriously in the first place because he has always been lazy.

When my sister goes away for a few days he doesn't even clean the cat litter tray so she comes back to a stinking kitchen.

I have ME/CFS but luckily my husband is very happy for me to spend my limited energy on things I enjoy rather than on domestic chores. I guess some people might see that as lazy but then they don't see the full impact of chronic illness on our lives.

I'm not jumping on you, just pointing out that it's very easy to call people with energy impairments lazy when you've never had to live a day in their shoes.

I quite enjoy cooking together with friends when visiting them. But if that's not what you thought you were signing up for, then fair enough.

My mum said she would help a friend of hers with a party she was putting on.

It eventually resulted in my mum doing all the cooking in her pots and bringing them to the party. Not content with this, she was also asked to serve it.

Her friend swanned around and had the cheek to loudly ask my mum when everyone had eaten and dancing was about to begin if she should take her apron off. Her apron was pristine and had only been worn as a costume of a busy hostess.

No thank you card arrived -this was in the 1980s- and so that was the end of that friendship

Not really sure what your question is op 😂 it's obviously weird and poor hosting and it sounds like you've already brought a stop to it

YABU to put up with this nonsense! I've never had that happen, and I don't know what universe he's living in that turns "come over for a meal" into "come and be my sous chef and general skivvy."

Tell the lazy sod to raise his game or kick him into touch.

This has NEVER happened to me. Being invited around for a meal and then me helping peel spuds and the like???

You need to find some new friends @JohnPeel !!!