To need emergency help for my son’s mental health?

Is he an only child? Does he have siblings? Cousins? Anyone nearer his age he can spend time with?

They usually have mental health team at children’s A and E.

He sounds ND. School anxiety and tics. Poor boy, Kalms used to gel dd.

This is so heartbreaking.

@HJBeans just based on your posts about social issues and social anxiety, do you think your son might have autism? Anxiety is commonly comorbid and thinking about ND might open up other soothing methods. Have you tried sensory stimuli like swinging, weighted blankets etc?

Hi OP, hopefully you’ve all managed some sleep. Unfortunately, MH help is so hard to get. Getting information yourself is so important. I agree with others A&E is abysmal with MH, It almost invariably makes things worse.

Here’s a link to a summary of some immediate MH first aid techniques https://www.calm.com/blog/vagus-nerve-reset-for-anxiety

I would also recommend Looking up the Polyvagel theory by Dr Stephen Porges (Debs Dana makes it more practical)

The body keeps the score by Professor VanDel Kolk, although primarily about PTSd maps well onto anxiety.

Everything your son’s mind and body is doing is doing it to try and protect him. It just doesn’t realise there’s no actual danger. It sounds like he’s been through a lot recently so it’s not surprising his mind and body are struggling.

It sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job. It sounds like your DS is a bright lad and knows what help him, so yes if movement/football helps, play into that. Go to the park, kick a ball round.

I often go into freeze then if I’m feeling safe will move into flight so will literally run. If it’s safe allow your son to run somewhere (although be careful as it’s likely things like road safety will be non existent, so round the garden is good).

Hypnotherapy can work well at your sons age.

if he is predisposed to anxiety getting a good grounding in coping mechanisms will help him throughout life. We are all different, we’ve evolved to react differently to the world. Everything will be fine. Your son has a loving supportive family to help him navigate this. It’s difficult to se loved ones going through this, so big hugs to you, and as I said upthread make sure you look after yourself too

Our youngest (no anxiety issues) snuck in with me whenever his dad was away until puberty.

whatever works for you all.

Very sorry to hear all this about your son, OP. I had a similar crisis when I was 14 and my saving grace was that DM had Panic Symdrome so shared her Xanax until I was seen.

I'll be honest, I expect him to need medication. Ideally antidepressants that also act into anxiety, but also something short term for the occasional crisis because anti depressants can take months to kick in. If he's resistant to taking it, please make sure he doesn't skip any days. He may not feel it in the short term but ultimately the half life of those meds require daily taking.

Things that aren't medication that helped me during a crisis period:

• Just blurting everything out to someone. I often didn't make sense, but speaking out loud helped me acknowledge my feelings.
• Predictability. Does he have a favourite TV show or movie? Put it on. Knowing what was going to happen helps. It also offers some external noise so I couldn't drown in my thoughts and feelings. Even though I'm an atheist, I would sometimes pray over and over so I would be thinking on the words rather on how awful everything was.
• Having someone close by. I read that he fell asleep next to you and that helped. I'm unsure if it was the human sounds, body heat, whatever, but at some points I would move my bed because I could only sleep being watched.
• Pressure. Either from a firm hug, a weighted blanked or a high pressure shower, feeling "surrounded" calmed me.

My best wishes for your son. If you feel like there is anything I can do to help from across the globe, feel free to PM or ask here.

They'll simply refer back to locality CAMHS for him to be seen later in the week, if not later than that

Even if they call the crisis team, he isnt in a crisis, the poster is correct about that. Crisis CAMHS might come out and see him but would quickly discharge to locality CAMHS

It would be incredibly unusual for a child that age, with these symptoms to be given medication. It certainly wouldnt be an outcome at A+E, he would have to be seen within CAMHS for some time, with assessment, over several weeks for consideration to that

However other posters citing the possibility of PANDAs are also right, this was my first thought. Needs looking at

Brilliant he got to sleep! Well done you

Hi Op, I'm sorry you're struggling with this. It's a really difficult place for you to find yourself too, so make sure you're looking after yourself when you can too.

Your local Mind charity might have a young people's service that can see your son while he's waiting for NHS support.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Our local Mind has an early intervention team that will see young people quickly for things like anxiety, low self esteem, etc. Sometimes it can make a huge difference for a young person just knowing that someone is taking them seriously, that someone has an answer, and that they're not on their own.

My dd was in a similar situation, left to fend for herself because CAMHS didn't know what to do with her and the GP wasn't really interested. Eventually we had a big breakthrough when I managed to get a double appointment with the amazing nurse practitioner at our GP. She just listened for half an hour and made some very gentle but practical suggestions. She prescribed phenergan (antihistamine that helps sleep - a PP mentioned it but I think for children it has to be prescribed up to a certain age). It takes the edge off the anxiety as well as helping with sleep. DD also had counselling through her school but that took time to organise. If this hadn't been available we would have looked for private counselling.

I'd recommend not waiting on CAMHS to solve the problem. They can do good things for the right young people, but criteria to access services are very narrow, and there can be long waiting lists.

If he has headaches and other physical symptoms and has jerks on waking I would want a neurological cause ruled out - waking with a startle could be morning myoclonus which is abnormal and can be associated with juvenile myoclonic epilepsy. Episodes of being unresponsive could be a seizure (although if he is fully aware and recalls the episode that is more likely to be psychiatric dissociation not seizure). Either way I'd be wanting an urgent paeds referral. Try videoing episodes and the startle on waking (with his consent) - very useful to show doctors videos of events.

OP just checking he wasn't ill with a virus before this all kicked off?

OP I have been suffering this for two weeks. Yesterday I finally managed to see my GP he prescribed me Mirtazapine 15mg. Took it before bed last night. This morning I woke up 80% better. No fight or flight, shaking etc.
its classed as an antidepressant but it’s not an SSRI. It resets your nervous system (in layman’s terms). Blocks certain chemicals causing the adrenaline etc. if you can possibly get it please do. It’s a miracle pill, I couldn’t believe it and thought it was a placebo effect but have done tons of research today and it does work that quickly. My heart goes out to you, I tried all other avenues, cbt mental health line etc, was in pure hell.
i really hope you can get him some relief soon. Thinking of you xxx

I've copy pasted info about TIPP, it's a toolkit used in DBT to help stabalise. Lots of the advice on here is based on these ideas. These are ways to regulate the nervous system quickly and get out of fight or flight

• Temperature (cold): Slows heart rate and distracts from intrusive thoughts and intense emotions
• Intense exercise: Lowers stress hormones and increases feel-good neurotransmitters
• Paced breathing: Increases oxygen intake and lowers heart rate and blood pressure
• Progressive muscle relaxation: Helps the body let go of stress and triggers the relaxation response

OP I have been where your son is and it's awful. I couldn't focus on breathing either, the more I thought about it the less natural it became and I ended up freaking out that I'd forgotten how.

Does your son understand what's happening to him? I wish I had. Talk him through it, and remind him that anxiety feels awful but it isn't actual danger. He's not going mad, he's enduring a temporary chemical imbalance. This is not his whole life now, though it might feel like it is.

Light exercise for distraction, and anything mindfulness that he can handle like puzzles, drawing or anything creative.

I feel so bad for him, but there's so much you can do to make this less of a life-changing event and more of a bad few weeks.

Face into sink of cold water and/or a weighted blanket will activate the parasympathetic nervous system (resting state)

We’ve got you @HJBeans❤️

keep us updated and use this space to just talk it through.

Mumsnet recently has been toxic but threads like this make me grateful 🙏

A hot and then turn the shower very cold. He should stay under as long as he can bear. Then turn to warm again. The shock can create a reset.

Then bundle him up and put him under a weighted blanket. Massage his feet with oil pref scented and strong or moisturiser.

Ask him to focus entirely on his most favourite holiday, and visualise being there. Talk through whether to book it. Go into detail. If he can’t stop moving give him a tennis ball and let him bounce it against the wall. It’s rhythmic and can help re regulate.

The single most important advice is do not panic at all. Complete calm
on your part. Do not panic. He is not seriously ill or going to be, he is safe and well. He is not suicidal there is no risk to life. These are big feelings, but they are just that. I know it is deeply frightening for you - of course it is, but he has you. Reassure him school is off the agenda for now.

Spot on 👍

I haven't RTFT sorry, just OP posts.
I don't know if these are suitable but things that might help (my own experience of anxyand my children's)

Nature...if you can get to a woods, or Riverside walk.

You said he likes football, kicking the ball hard hard hard again wall.

Throwing a ball up the stairs as hard as possible.

Screaming a pillow.

Shower if he likes that sensory experience.

Fresh air

Weighted Blanket

Find a music that calms him.

Low lights.
Low stimulation TV

Clay, kinetic sand, slime

Wall push ups

Simple maths equations (engages the opposite side of the brain)

Hop scotch

Swing

I hope your son is calming a bit now, and on the way to feeling better. It's such an awful feeling. Assure him you know how bad it feels and it will pass xxx

Rooting for you and your lovely son OP x

Do you know what had started him off with being like this OP? Look up some CBT techniques to try and engage with him if you can. Understanding his triggers can be really helpful to help him overcome how he is feeling.

I have anxiety, I’ve known that restless and endless fight or flight feeling and I feel very sorry that anyone, let alone a 12 year old feels that way because it’s awful. What helps me is a weighted blanket and doing relaxation on the headspace app and just going to bed to sleep it off honestly. I take medication but it’s no quick fix with antidepressants unfortunately. I hope your son is feeling better soon and you are able to get him some help