Betrayed by my SIL!

Why on earth did you tell your DB at all, knowing he would tell his wife whom you clearly dislike and distrust? I sympathise with you wanting to keep it a secret to the last minute and I did so successfully until 8 months. But it seems you've given her enough rope and she's obligingly hung herself. The question isn't now: is she a bitch or is she a bitch, it's how you handle the situation gracefully and make the best of it.

The point is that the section is called AIBU not IANBU.

Whether it was her or not, if you are rather pregnant, everyone you walk past on the street knows. Plus you will have a baby at the end, which is even harder to hide, so congratulations. I think that previous losses and hormones are making you act a little irrationally here.

You’re right. There is an absolute spate of ‘Evil, Traitorous SIL’ threads of late.

Keeping a pregnancy secret until full term is weird. Apart from this, I have learned that a secret is something everyone knows but one by one. Just chill and enjoy your pregnancy.

Don't let it stress you out. You've got more important things to think about, it's done now so can't be changed, so you might as well not stew over it and let it go. You'll know for the future to keep her at a long distance.
Very best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy! Enjoy it and don't dwell on rubbish like this.

Blimey there are a lot of dreadful SIL on here of late

I have learnt that the only way to keep a secret is by not telling anyone.

This sounds really immature.

It may be just a you/her problem and she is great to other people.

You literally set out to cause an issue telling your DB knowing he would tell her! Self sabotage at its best.

Why use AIBU, if you are absolutely positive that you were right?

Also if everyone likes someone except you, sometimes you are the problem?

i’ve put YABU not because I agree with what she has done but (i) you didn’t speak to her directly to make is clear to her first hand that she shouldn’t leak the news and (ii) if she has form for being a pain anyway then you shouldn’t even have told your DB as it was bound to happen

She’s a b*tch @betrayed12
Keep her at very long arms length.
I would be so hurt.

Yes, that’s also possible.

Or simply the aunt spoke to the brother and SIL and said ‘Look, is your sis ok? I get that I’m not supposed to know she’s pregnant, but wearing a baggy coat indoors in a warm room isn’t the cunning disguise she thinks it is, and it seemed like such an odd thing to do I wondered if she was ok.’

Perhaps they were worried about you and felt you needed the support of your family. It’s highly irregular behaviour to conceal a pregnancy until full term.

So what, your family all know something now that they would have know about in a few weeks time, anyway?

Just relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

I think your brother and SIL are both untrustworthy.
Surely he knows his wife is a gossip, so he shouldn't tell her. I can never understand why everything left hand knows, right hand has to know as well. My sisters and I trust each other to maintain each others' 'secrets'
How do you get to adulthood and not learn that you don't have to blab about everything?

You told your DB knowing he would tell his wife, knowing you 2 had fallen out and knowing she’s not as nice as people think. It’s almost as if you were trying to set her up or cause drama yourself.

if you don’t want people to know there is only one way of doing that, don’t tell anyone at all. You might have wanted your DBs support but other than asking him not to tell his wife, which is wrong the news was going to get out.

If you want a stress free pregnancy then you avoid the people that cause you stress, including sil even if that means avoiding your db for a while.

You knew your DB would tell her and therefore you knew neither of them could be trusted with your news. I think you only have yourself to blame and are being unreasonable.

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and I hope everything goes well with the rest of your pregnancy.

There's another poster who has been making frequent threads about her SIL if you have a look op.

That person is absolutely obsessed about absolutely normal behaviour to the point of it being very unhealthy, and I think the op is pretty unwell.

Don't let yourself get driven to that point.

Well, isn’t it also perfectly possible that your brother, terrified at your obvious outrage, lied about having warned her to say nothing? He may have reasoned that you hate her anyway, and decided to go with that rather than get himself in trouble either way you.

You're incredibly ready to believe ill of her, so it would be an easy way to pass the can.

Also, you think you can keep it quiet until after you've had the baby? That's a really bizarre thing to do, why would you do that?

This is very precious of you. Who cares? If you want to keep anything a secret, tell nobody at all.