To think being a woman costs more?

I think you misunderstood the point? Going to the hairdresser for women is more expensive than a barber, without any dyes or whatever into the mix. It has been this way all my life.

I spend even less than you, cut my own, not been for 30 years! But I have curly hair that can't see mistakes on 😂

Adding to the fun money comment. DH and I have a joint account that all joint and essential expenses come out of and then we get a set amount of “fun money” each month. We both get all of our grooming done out of the joint though because we class these as essential.

My bill is far more than DH as I get hair, nails, lashes, brows, hair removal etc. If we were strapped for cash I’d get these done out of my fun money and they wouldn’t be classed as essential so I guess it depends on how financially sound you are.

Being a woman is more expensive though. Pink tax is real. Look at the price of womens vs men’s razors. I buy men’s deodorant as the women’s is often more expensive (and doesn’t last as long). Plus you have sanitary products etc.

As a woman, it's my choice to spend money on makeup and non-essential clothes and shoes. Those aren't a fundamental part of being a woman, they're a choice in the same way that my husband could choose to buy non-essential high-end clothes and footwear, go to a 'posh' hair salon, have facials etc.

I've never had a wax and don't intend to. I occasionally have my nails done and my hair colour is natural. I think YABU to assert that gel nails, waxes, professional hair colour etc are part of some universal female experience. YANBU to include sanitary products and bras, and there's a whole other conversation about the gender pay gap and the loss of earnings (actual and potential) related to pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting.

Of course it costs more. These things may not be mandatory, but the societal expectations are strong. Husband’s even have preferences about their wives grooming habits, even if in theory those should be entirely independent choices.

How to budget for clothing and grooming supplies when making a joint budget is actually quite tricky because it isn’t nearly as clear cut as people like to pretend.

I think couples need to admit that there are certain things that aren’t really luxuries for women that men simply aren’t expected to spend money on. Those should not count toward’s personal fun money spending budgets.

Never spent £100 for a haircut. My husband spends more at the barbers than I do at my hair dressers as I go every 3 or 4 months, he goes every month.

I agree with some of your points. Bras OK, but if you hand wash on wash in a gentle setting they last longer. Every day bras are a necessity for most of us. Buying sexy ones is not.

Bikini wax - don't know if it's been suggested but I bought a wax pot thing years ago. The wax doesn't cost much at all. You'll save 50 quid a month right there. I also never get ingrown hairs or anything now that I do it myself, and it hurts way less (let's be honest, no one is going to be as careful with your fanny as you will).

Tights, again, hand wash and you should get a good while out of them.

Hair, I guess it's more important to some than others. I like my natural colour and get a cut maybe 3 times per year, but I can understand those who need to get professional colouring.

Occasions - women can't get away with the same couple of outfits for every occasion, but men could definitely get way with a couple of suits.

Overall, I think you are right that it's more expensive for women, but I think you could probably make some cutbacks

Edit to add, sanitary products should be counted as general grocery cost, definitely not discretionary spending

I would say this is entirely true. I’ve had to spend far more on medical tests than dp. Every time he walks into the surgery he gets what he wants. I can honestly hand on heart say it’s happened once or twice in my adulthood!

And remember that most men (I’m being careful not to say #allmen) wouldn’t like it if their partner suddenly stopped wearing make up, stopped shaving / waxing and allowed their grey to grow out. I saw something recently saying that if you want a woman that is physically fit and looks younger than she is / a certain way then you better be prepared for the cost of that and it hit home a bit. The gym membership, the Botox, the nails, eyebrows - they all add up and if men keep lusting after women that have all these treatments and look this way then of course most women will continue to feel them necessary. To summarise let’s get rid of all men and then just look how nature intended.

Ans why are sanitary products so expensive? £8 a month if you’ve got a heavy flow! Ridiculous.

Its all just choice though isnt it? I spend a fortune on make up and get my nails done every month because I want to. Equally I've never coloured my hair because I don't fancy it

I could spend a fortune on matching bras and knickers, or buy a multipack from M&S.

Absolutely none of these things are necessary, women just choose to do some or all of them

Why would you pay more for a pink razor? Buy the black one.

That's it in a nutshell isn't it? It's not about the cost of production whatsoever.

I think thats the point, OP is trying to wangle that their "discretionary spends" should factor things like
Bikini waxes, hairdressers, tights, lingerie

Saying those items are pretty much standard as a woman today ergo their discretion spends should be higher or included in household finances..

I remember someone once questioned M&S about their pricing structure for knickers v men’s underwear. Apparently, knickers were more expensive because women would pay the prices quoted, but men certainly wouldn’t!

There is definitely an issue with ‘pink tax’. ‘Women’s products are generally more expensive than men’s. And before anyone suggests just use men’s, I do not want to smell like Lynx Africa etc.
Look how long it took to get VAT removed from period products! And we still have to buy those for a significant part of life.
Women do get promoted more if they are groomed and professional in a way that does not apply to men. How many senior women do you see who look like they have just crawled out of a cave!?!
Women generally are in caregiver roles, often making sacrifices to their earning potential/pension contributions.

In short, yes, it is more expensive to be a woman.

50+ year old here:

• bikini waxes - nope, home trim is enough
• hairdressers - i go once/ twice a year, less that a man (shorter cuts need more maintenance)
• tights - dont use them, live in trousers
• lingerie - ok a good bra can be expensive I will give you that
• taxis - i take public transport unless i'm with the kids after a long journey. I think I take similar taxis to a man

we do spend more money but not on these things - the pink tax is what is annoying when 'female' things cost more than 'male' things, just because they decide to colour it pink

I dunno. My bras are major feats of structural engineering and tailoring these days. I can see where the money goes.

Glad I am not married to a man who counts how many pads I am using or tells me I can do without a bra. All our money is shared.

The OP mentions bikini waxes, lingerie and tights.
If your ability to get promoted depends on you need to be spending on these items, I suggest getting another job.

As a big boobed lady, deffo need a well made bra and they are not cheap. Plus, buying cheapo ones are either uncomfy or the wire comes out within a few months, or both! False economy.

Bikini waxes, hairdressers, tights, lingerie,

Fairly standard? No, they are choices. Your choices are not the "standard". YABU.

Men have to buy swimming trunks, so there is an equivalent no?

Women wanting things like waxing, gel nails, botox and other stuff that has been mentioned - if you earn money then spend it how you choose but dont try and wangle it as a necessity. Its a choice purchase and if there was an apocalypse - its not mandatory for survival to have botox or gel nails. Its a nice to have, definitely not a standard for womenhood and most certainly not a necessity.

I don't confirm to 'beauty standards' in order to please men (or other women). Nobody* has ever treated me differently to a similar woman who routinely wears makeup. Not in my career, not on nights out, not with my husband, not meeting new people. People respond to confidence and smiles initially, and then they get to know you and stop seeing whether you look like a human or a doll anyway.

*Except strange men at gutter level. It's useful for avoiding that.

I (a woman) don't do any of those things. If I wanted to, then I'd expect it to come out of my personal discretionary spends.

Only if periods medium to light. Quite a few women, like myself, suffered very heavy. Pants are no good at all.

As I said replies will be from posters who never go anywhere much or out after dark. Or don"t even wear bloody bras!

Rapes and assaults can happen in London too. I take the Tube in London as does DD, but when it stops at midnight, we may take Ubers. DH can walk.

I would argue that taxi after dark is pretty necessary for men as well. I know they are at far less risk of rape but far more likely to be mugged, or the victim of some sort of beating than women. A pack of 7 pairs of knickers in Asda is less than a 3 pack of boxers. Period products are only women but cost can be significantly reduced by using reusable rather than disposable products.