To think being a woman costs more?

The grey hair you’re thinking of is the one that people pay a lot of money blending as it grows out etc and needs toning. I don’t think it’s about fashion really, I didn’t say that there’s anything wrong with any of the things that I listed. Just that I think women are judged for them personally and professionally.

Missing the point here.. but I bought a pair of Spanx tights in the US about 15 years ago and they are still good. Best tights.

But their standard pants are more expensive.

With regards to clothes it just depends what your style is. I get a lot if great stuff which is good quality on vinted. My husband generally buys new. I'm more concerned about being environmentally friendly than he is and save money naturally.

My husband plays golf so his spending on his hobby is about 4x what mine is and you need really particular clothes that are pretty dear.

My hair cuts are more expensive but his are more frequent.

He'll pick me up from the train station so I don't get taxis.

Being a women is more expensive if you buy into a lot of the patriarchal nonsense such as thinking you need to have the fanny of a pre pubescent girl.

I think women feel a lot more societal pressure to ‘keep up appearances’. They’re definitely not essential activities, but people quite often decide that they are. Then they feel that the difference is treating yourself to someone else doing it for you, or diy. And it costs to get someone else to do it for you.

I reckon sanitary products and razor blades are probably on par cost wise.

Hair colouring, waxing etc, Thats a cosmetic lifestyle choice. It’s a very common one, but it’s still one. More men don’t bother with that spending on appearances thing.

wouldn’t like it if their partner suddenly stopped wearing make up, stopped shaving / waxing and allowed their grey to grow out.

Perpetuating that women are there for mens benefit. I do not give one jot if my partner doesnt like it if I dont wear make up, or shave or whatever. Because I'm a person, I do what I do for my benefit not his. I dont exist for his enjoyment, I dont depend on his validation, i'm not a doll, not a possession. If a partner does moan at the lack of this stuff; its a red flag for me and shouldn't be acceptable - just as it isnt acceptable for a woman to demand a man does/doesn't shave type thing. Body autonomy.

Although if they want a man to pay for it then thats a different story; more the fool them.

Agree with the sanitary tax. Ridiculous!

But if a man has straggling, unkempt facial hair, he's most likely going to look like he is either completely destitute, has issues with addiction or mental health, or has some sort of condition that means he is incapable of basic selfcare.

Or, he's just grown a beard? Does having a beard mean got addictions or mental health issues?!

On a tangent, I used to be a punk/grungy and tbh, my clothes are still a little towards that look years later, skinnies, big boots etc. When I was at uni, I had a desk job in a bank processing centre, not customer faced. They actually called a meeting about my appearance (even though I'd made a huge effort to look smart and toned everything down!) and I was told off in front of management. I handed in my notice then and there and on my last day, I wore a floor length tie dye dress and my dyed red hair in bunchies. Management looked like they were chewing a wasp when they saw me.

It's insane that we have to be held to account over our clothes and can be held back because of them. If clean, tidy and can do the flipping job well, that's what it's important!

Just buy the mens ones then. Just why would you pay more for pink?

Bras unfortunately are expensive

Op, I think you lost a lot of us with bikini wax (as lots don't) but I agree with a lot of what you're saying. I am pretty low maintenance, but I still get my hair cut and colour it myself. Sure it's a choice but I feel we get a lot of judgement if we look completely scruffy. Also I was out on Saturday and made a comment about how I would get home and my bf looked like it never even crossed his mind that you wouldn't walk home just because it was dark. I thought how different it is to be a man.

Men have to pay for some sort of paraphernalia to manage their facial hair which must add up, whether it's razors or trimmers or barber visits. And unlike female stuff, they really can't do without it if they want to operate in normal society. Nobody need know whether I've shaved my legs, or if I'm wearing lingerie, or even if I've used old rags as sanitary products rather than buying tampons. But if a man has straggling, unkempt facial hair, he's most likely going to look like he is either completely destitute, has issues with addiction or mental health, or has some sort of condition that means he is incapable of basic selfcare. Not many people would hire someone who turned up to an interview like that. Plus, nobody can even tell if I've had my hair cut and coloured as I can just put it in a bun, whereas a man will usually need to have regular trims, or the funds to buy clippers. And loads of women don't wear makeup, or have extensive wardrobes. So whilst I would agree women tend to be socially expected to spend more on their appearance, and I'm pretty certain they do, I would argue that men have more expenses that society deems absolutely necessary.

wtf are these replies.

It is more expensive to be a woman, but the gap doesn't need to be anywhere as big as it currently is. It's all just pressure from the beauty industries and peer pressure.

The only thing I buy that I'd stop buying if I were suddenly male, is bras and period pads. If I was suddenly male I'd probably spend way more on razors and extra calories than those two things cost me.

But that's because I can't be bothered with makeup and other stuff. My late OH preferred me this way and his opinion was the only one I cared about, and now he's gone I'm not going to suddenly start in my mid thirties.

Unfortunately the gap is closing, but it's not by women feeling more able to resist the pressure, but by those pressures starting to be applied to men now too. The number of men with an extensive skincare routine is rising quite rapidly.

How about a prime minister who may or may not wear lingerie and have a bikini wax. Doesn't have a fancy hair do (long hair in a bun would look fine). Does anyone care if the PM has her nails done as long as they are clean? Or God forbid she plucks her own eyebrows. Wouldn't worry me.

I'm retired but was a senior manager and I wore trousers suits with nice blouses, I've worn them to all those events. I now generally wear jeans and a t shirt or jumper depending on the weather. I own one dress I bought about six years ago, I've worn it once. Never did like dresses which was more of an issue in the 70s but I was good at what I did and I only remember one old man making a comment.

I hate going to the hairdresser's, I wish I could see it as a nice thing to do. Mainly id like a hairdresser who didn't feel the need to chat.

I need my hair cut, Ive been trying to motivate myself to book it for a few weeks.

I’m mean, goodness, when the UK elects a woman prime minister who looks like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards and birthed 5 children to 3 different men, maybe then I’ll concede that social conditioning need have zero impact.

I agree. I’m damned if I’m going to wear feminine drag just because I am a woman, and because somebody’s expectations exist out there. Trousers for every occasion, and heels can do one, as far as I’m concerned.

But at the same time, it’s this which also infuriates me about trans women (inter alia). They pick cartoon womanhood as absolute evidence of being female, and I find it extremely offensive.
It’s that strict, antiquated binary gender presentation which has been alienating and distressing so many young women these days, making them question their femininity, and it’s a cruel and oppressive requirement wherever the pressure may come from.

I’m alright, as I worship at the feet of the Katherine Hepburn school of fabulosity and am old enough to have left ‘damn-giving’ far behind me, but were I about fifteen I might be fretting miserably about the need to mince around showing my knickers and bosom.

I thought this was well established? That there’s a “pink tax” in life?

People are saying xyz is optional, but dressing and presenting yourself in ways that society deems acceptable and / or smart for the workplace costs extra if you’re a woman.

Even more if you’re a black woman of course.

Thank god I don't work with women like that I'd want to poke my eyes out. Some women are just better with money than others I guess and don't spend on such rubbish.
Plus £50 for waxing a month?! How much hair do you have??!

No. Most of these are discretionary spend, eg DH has hair cut every 6 weeks whereas I can go 3 months. I dye my grey hair, it costs £6 (done at home) every 6 weeks. I’m still quids in.

Also he has to eat more as he is bigger.

re: sanitary products, a moon cup is a one off £25!

We both drive so no need for taxis.

Try telling a single mother trying to scrape by on a low income that nails, bikini waxes and hair colouring is standard stuff and not fun money. Honestly mumsnet boggles my mind sometimes.

I agree. Your lifestyle and that of the women you know is not representative of "most" women. My life is no poorer for shaving my legs and not injecting crap into my face.

Quite. And they are all artists.

Regardless of whether women need conditioner, bras or haircuts- let's just assume they need nothing that men don't need- I would refuse to marry anyone who insisted on " my money your money" and nickel- and- dimed me down to the last cent. I would also refuse to marry anyone who used Botox or filler.

What will it tell me?