To think being a woman costs more?

lljkk · 22/11/2025 13:23

ClairN · 19/11/2025 13:28

DH and I have been having a debate on discretionary spending. AIBU to think being a woman is more expensive?

Bikini waxes, hairdressers, tights, lingerie, taxis after dark…

OP says "Discretionary" spending but then OP implies those purchases are pretty much mandatory spending.

This says men spend more than women on self-care on avg, btw.

Brits spend over £4.5K on self-care annually

How much do brits spend on manicures and other beauty treatments each year? Do men or women spend more on beauty products? Here's the answer.

https://professionalbeauty.co.uk/brits-spend-over-ps45k-on-self-care-annually

RubySquid · 22/11/2025 12:13

elliejjtiny · 21/11/2025 23:27

They didn't. I checked with the midwives afterwards as i wondered if dh had signed as my next of kin but they said they just did it without consent as it was an emergency. Looking back i wonder why i didn't put up more resistance when they were putting the spinal in but after they took the gas and air away from me i would have probably done anything to make the pain stop. I was being induced with gas and air as the only pain relief so when they took that away i was screaming in agony.

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Id have bloody sued them.

elliejjtiny · 21/11/2025 23:27

RubySquid · 21/11/2025 20:30

That's terrible. How did they get the consent to do the CS then? I refused one with my eldest and there was sod all they could do

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They didn't. I checked with the midwives afterwards as i wondered if dh had signed as my next of kin but they said they just did it without consent as it was an emergency. Looking back i wonder why i didn't put up more resistance when they were putting the spinal in but after they took the gas and air away from me i would have probably done anything to make the pain stop. I was being induced with gas and air as the only pain relief so when they took that away i was screaming in agony.

RubySquid · 21/11/2025 20:30

elliejjtiny · 21/11/2025 19:42

Thankyou. Seen the drs and had a load of tests. None of the non surgical methods made a difference and I would rather live with the flooding than have surgery. I had a traumatic birth with my youngest which included a c section without consent after I'd said no.

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That's terrible. How did they get the consent to do the CS then? I refused one with my eldest and there was sod all they could do

elliejjtiny · 21/11/2025 19:42

RubySquid · 20/11/2025 08:04

Just looked up period pants. Seen M&S have packs of 3 heavy absorbency for £16 which isn't really expensive especially if last a whlle

Id be seeing the doctor though with such heavy periods they take £30 month of sanitary wara

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Thankyou. Seen the drs and had a load of tests. None of the non surgical methods made a difference and I would rather live with the flooding than have surgery. I had a traumatic birth with my youngest which included a c section without consent after I'd said no.

Holluschickie · 21/11/2025 11:34

nomas · 21/11/2025 11:33

Hahaha good point, used to be high in my 20s but now I only get threaded 4 x a year!

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I have moved to dermablades to save time and money.

nomas · 21/11/2025 11:33

Holluschickie · 21/11/2025 11:21

What's your threading bill? 😉( Fellow Asian).

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Hahaha good point, used to be high in my 20s but now I only get threaded 4 x a year!

Holluschickie · 21/11/2025 11:21

nomas · 21/11/2025 09:36

I see your point to an extent. As an example look at the expectations of many men from women they date. Many men do want their date to be immaculately put together, with nails done, hair done, body waxed, new dress. This is not me and not someone I could ever be.

I once dated a guy who acknowledged that’s the kind of woman he wanted and in the same breath said that he would have to find the money to fund that kind of woman’s upkeep.

So I think if you’re the immaculately put together type of woman, yes, it costs more.

But the older I get the less I spend, even though I have more money now. I get my hair cut twice a year, don’t dye it (Asian hair so doesn’t need much care), don’t get waxed, will never get Botox, etc so my maintenance isn’t expensive.

What's your threading bill? 😉( Fellow Asian).

nomas · 21/11/2025 09:36

I see your point to an extent. As an example look at the expectations of many men from women they date. Many men do want their date to be immaculately put together, with nails done, hair done, body waxed, new dress. This is not me and not someone I could ever be.

I once dated a guy who acknowledged that’s the kind of woman he wanted and in the same breath said that he would have to find the money to fund that kind of woman’s upkeep.

So I think if you’re the immaculately put together type of woman, yes, it costs more.

But the older I get the less I spend, even though I have more money now. I get my hair cut twice a year, don’t dye it (Asian hair so doesn’t need much care), don’t get waxed, will never get Botox, etc so my maintenance isn’t expensive.

40YearOldDad · 21/11/2025 09:24

Sartre · 19/11/2025 21:42

Also should have said the hairdressers is like £30 minimum for a cut as well whereas men can go to the barbers and pay a tenner.

I suppose it's all relative. Women in general probably spend more, but it's also an oldish stereotype.

Haircuts as an example. -I generally have my hair cut every 4 weeks, £15, ( and the place I go to is probably a fiver cheaper than others. if I'm being lazy, I'll also have a hot shave, so £25. Or if I'm feeling flush, my son and I go to a swanky place, and it's £90 for two cuts, but you have to book that well in advance, and I can be all over the place. In comparison, my wife probably spends half as much as I do on haircuts, but her shampoo is £10+ a bottle, and mine is anything that makes bubbles. Swings and roundabouts.

monkeysox · 20/11/2025 21:57

AcropolisNow · 19/11/2025 13:57

Bras and period stuff, not to mention the pill.

The pill is free on prescription in the UK.

monkeysox · 20/11/2025 21:55

Bras. Fortune.

Back21970 · 20/11/2025 21:46

I kind of agree, however do think men are still generally still expected to pick up the tab when first dating and provide more £££ to the household if kids are involved.

Not always though in these days of equality (I’m adding this before I get flamed 😀)

And I suppose unless they want facial hair they have to shave every day.

Statistically young men are more likely to be physically assaulted too late at night so could argue they should also be getting taxis.

Woman want to, and are conditioned, to spend more though on grooming I reckon - I’ve always been happy to do it and if it was a struggle it’s something I could easily cut back on.

Notsurewhatisnormalanymore · 20/11/2025 12:58

BarbarasRhabarberba · 19/11/2025 20:23

I will concede that how heavily those expectations are pushed in a work environment varies between industries. But still (and I’m not aiming this at you, just musing) if enough women pushed back, would that change? Like cabin crew as someone mentioned earlier - women pointing out how silly the high heels and makeup rules were led to a lot of airlines dropping those requirements and introducing trouser uniforms for women.

Personally I really don’t care how someone wants to look. If you (again, collective, not you personally) feel better and more yourself looking traditionally feminine and everything that entails with hair, nails and makeup, crack on. I certainly don’t think that’s anything to sneer at or inferior to non-conforming women. I think it’s always worth questioning though how and why our tastes and opinions form, and questioning whether all societal expectations are worth following or paying any attention to. And if you come to the conclusion that actually you don’t like having gel nails/getting Botox/scrubbing the house from top to bottom every time the MIL visits etc, just stop.

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Yes I think it would change if we all pushed back. I wish I was one of the women that feels able to! I’m not, hopefully one day I will be.

NovemberMorn · 20/11/2025 12:15

BoudiccaRuled · 19/11/2025 20:09

Some should.

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😆

RubySquid · 20/11/2025 08:05

W0tnow · 20/11/2025 07:01

😂 my bad! @RubySquid

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Haha.

RubySquid · 20/11/2025 08:04

elliejjtiny · 19/11/2025 23:03

No, but I bleed a lot so I go through a lot of them. I also use period pants which are really expensive and wear out after 5 years or so.

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Just looked up period pants. Seen M&S have packs of 3 heavy absorbency for £16 which isn't really expensive especially if last a whlle

Id be seeing the doctor though with such heavy periods they take £30 month of sanitary wara

W0tnow · 20/11/2025 07:01

😂 my bad! @RubySquid

oldclock · 20/11/2025 05:46

elliejjtiny · 19/11/2025 23:03

No, but I bleed a lot so I go through a lot of them. I also use period pants which are really expensive and wear out after 5 years or so.

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Go to the GP and get yourself on the pill to reduce the bleeding.

elliejjtiny · 19/11/2025 23:03

RubySquid · 19/11/2025 21:39

Ouch have tampons and sanitary towels jumped up in price lots then? Been a few years since needed them. Used to manage on a couple of boxes of superdrug tampons at about 99p a pack

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No, but I bleed a lot so I go through a lot of them. I also use period pants which are really expensive and wear out after 5 years or so.

Strawberrypicnic · 19/11/2025 22:34

Good quality bras are sooo expensive! Especially if you're not a commonly stocked size

RubySquid · 19/11/2025 21:56

Sartre · 19/11/2025 21:42

Also should have said the hairdressers is like £30 minimum for a cut as well whereas men can go to the barbers and pay a tenner.

Just a cut? Can get a cut and blow dry for less than that here. Or a dry cut for a tenner

Ironically DS gets charged £17 @at the barber's

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 19/11/2025 21:49

I paid £17 for a quick trim at the hairdresser the other day
It used to be a £5 from the woman I knew well and who would give me a quick tidy up

Sartre · 19/11/2025 21:42

Also should have said the hairdressers is like £30 minimum for a cut as well whereas men can go to the barbers and pay a tenner.

Sartre · 19/11/2025 21:41

Agreed. Women don’t need any of it but I’d argue most of us pay for at least one or two of those things. We can’t get out of sanitary protection so that’s a cost men don’t have to consider. Bras for sure, even running bras which again men don’t have to consider. Make up, hairdressers, nails, waxing etc are of course a choice but most women do some of this to feel good.