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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you stop yourself wanting all the things?

307 replies

Gettingabitnippynow · 19/11/2025 11:57

I’m not a materialist person at all, but have just been to pick up a few Christmas bits for Dd and I just want all the things. They’re not particularly expensive, but would be to buy them all. Christmas candles, Christmas mugs, pjs, teddies, wooly hats, jumpers etc etc. Do you all buy all these things or just ignore? I realise it’s a bit silly to buy new every year and a waste when I have last years xmas mugs and pjs.
Just wish I was wealthy sometimes!

OP posts:
Inwhitelights · 19/11/2025 12:25

Inwhitelights · 19/11/2025 12:20

I’m obsessed with mugs in general so I always get myself a new Xmas mug every year! Asda do great ones and at £2.50 or £3 it’s no biggie. As for the test, whilst I get what you mean…. I’ll save my money towards a holiday!!

Edited

And I use them all year round!

Dunnocantthinkofone · 19/11/2025 12:23

Gettingabitnippynow · 19/11/2025 11:57

I’m not a materialist person at all, but have just been to pick up a few Christmas bits for Dd and I just want all the things. They’re not particularly expensive, but would be to buy them all. Christmas candles, Christmas mugs, pjs, teddies, wooly hats, jumpers etc etc. Do you all buy all these things or just ignore? I realise it’s a bit silly to buy new every year and a waste when I have last years xmas mugs and pjs.
Just wish I was wealthy sometimes!

Sorry Op, but you are kidding yourself
You definitely ARE materialistic. You long for enough money to buy tat you acknowledge you don’t need
That’s the absolute dictionary definition of materialistic!
Its not your fault though - you (and all of us) are being manipulated by commercial forces

Stormyday34 · 19/11/2025 12:22

I must be missing this gene because I feel no compulsion to buy all the Christmas tat in the shops at all.

we don’t have Christmas mugs or pyjamas or anything like that.

I like nice things for sure but I don’t think of that as nice things. I enjoy buying a nice pair of new shoes or a cashmere jumper. That sort of thing.

Novemberbrain · 19/11/2025 12:22

I think my attachment/sentimentality towards things I already have is usually just stronger than my attraction to the new stuff, I attach memories to stuff. The rest of the family are the same and look forward to getting their special Xmas things out again.

I do love the shops around Xmas but it's amazing if you don't go near them for a few weeks, how much you realise you wouldn't have bought otherwise and you're just being seduced into it. Maybe have a read about the retail industry's psychological tactics in terms of how they design their stores etc, really interesting and being aware of it helps you notice when you're being drawn in!

HappyOctober · 19/11/2025 12:21

I want stuff too, but remember the joy is fleeting- then you’ll just have to buy another - where does it end?!

I do think of the earth and what we are doing to it- eg when you throw something away - “There’s no such thing as ‘away’ “
or, every piece of plastic you’ve ever touched probably still exists….

I get a similar - or maybe better- feeling of joy from making things , that’s my top tip!

hby9628 · 19/11/2025 12:20

I wait. I used to be terrible for just buying stuff. In the last week if I had purchased the lovely bits I wanted to i would have easily spent £80. Now the urge has passed. If after a week or so i still really want the item then I will tend to buy it.

Inwhitelights · 19/11/2025 12:20

I’m obsessed with mugs in general so I always get myself a new Xmas mug every year! Asda do great ones and at £2.50 or £3 it’s no biggie. As for the test, whilst I get what you mean…. I’ll save my money towards a holiday!!

Luckyingame · 19/11/2025 12:19

To answer your question, once you experience being able to buy what you want, it completely loses its appeal.

ValBiro · 19/11/2025 12:18

Going to the shops at this time of year has the opposite effect on me. It makes me sad thinking where all that produce ends up at the end of it all. The sheer volume of just... Like, CLOTHES in M&S for example, that's just one shop. Just one branch on my high street. What a waste. It's horrible. It makes me want none of the stuff, quite frankly!

YABU

Obeseandashamed · 19/11/2025 12:18

I used to be like this but this year and last I found myself preoccupied with other things so for various reasons didn’t end up buying x, y, Z and realised after the event that I didn’t miss not having them so never needed them to begin with. For me, it wasn’t about the cost element of things - it was the clutter aspect. What would I have done with all those things? I would have probably had to get rid of some old things to make space for the new and it would have been a rotating wardrobe which defeats the purpose of purchasing in the first instance. I still buy new Xmas pjs and a new jumper each year as they grow out of them.

Buscobel · 19/11/2025 12:17

I find that if you leave it for a week or so, that must have item has somehow lost its appeal.

Alliolly · 19/11/2025 12:16

I get it OP. But I usually stop myself by thinking where I would store the additional tat and trying to stick to approximately the same theme with cups, plates etc, which eliminated a lot of the things no matter how cute they are. And most importantly thinking would we really use it.

This doesn't mean I managed not to buy anything, but I try to stick to 1-2 pieces of Christmas tat per child every year - they year before they got matching jumpers and a plate for Santa, last year they got pyjamas and glass cups, this year they're getting mugs and Christmas jumpers again, which are a size up, so we can skip the jumpers next year etc

AcropolisNow · 19/11/2025 12:15

It is quite difficult sometimes, but I was brought up never to "want" anything, which does help.
I tend to try and go for the best I can afford at the time in the hope that it will last forever (unrealistic), but has worked on several major items over 20 to 30 years.
I am now at the point where I think, "will it see me out" (around another 23 years to go) :-)
Totally agree on the clutter argument.
Clothes wise I do try and ask myself, do I have suitable outfits for any occasions/events I might need to attend. On the whole yes, whew! I do try to do for the classics, though, as they really do not date and you cannot go wrong with cotton, linen, wool, cashmere, silk etc. if you take care of things.

ShadowViolet · 19/11/2025 12:14

I‘m not generally tempted by anything like that, but if I were, I’d set myself a budget and work out how spending that budget would give me the most enjoyment (e.g. lots of small things or one or two bigger items).

I think it’s pretty normal to want new things. I manage that by writing a list of all the things I’d like…and then wait a few weeks before I allow myself to buy something from that list. Often the item I thought I really wanted a few weeks ago will have lost its appeal and as a result I don’t actually buy much at all.

Thebigonesgetaway · 19/11/2025 12:11

I’m quite materialistic, I like nice things, I don’t consider Xmas tat nice things so it doesn’t even cross my mind to buy them.

ZenNudist · 19/11/2025 12:10

Try and see it for the consumerism it really is. Realise that this years Christmas mug is no better than last years. In fact having a Christmas mug is pointless. Just get mugs you can use all year around.

I prefer to buy good quality classic items and use it for a long time rather than buy throwaway tat .

Gair · 19/11/2025 12:09

By remembering that it all turns into clutter which I then have to deal with for the rest of my life!

Also the shops really stress me out at Christmas (and increasingly Halloween, Easter etc) - there is just so much unnecessary tat that it's a visual nightmare. The heaving crowds don't help either.

To scratch that itch, maybe resolve to buy one really beautiful christmas tree bauble every year. The really nice ones are not cheap (but won't break the bank), and they would make lovely gifts for your kids when they leave home and start to celebrate Christmas in their own homes.

frozendaisy · 19/11/2025 12:09

Best to buy timeless designed festive additions if you must so that each year it's a joy to bring them out again.

InterestedDad37 · 19/11/2025 12:08

I'm like that, but in the cake/biscuit aisle 😀

Tammygirl12 · 19/11/2025 12:08

Look at all the clutter in your house and realise you don’t need more shit, that’s what I do

drusilla49 · 19/11/2025 12:07

Do you actually want the things though, or just the dopamine rush of buying them?

DaisyChain505 · 19/11/2025 12:06

Watch BUY NOW on Netflix. It will help change your mindset on your consumerism and open your eyes to the mess we’re creating in the world with how much we buy.

Jugendstiel · 19/11/2025 12:04

It's way nicer for DC to get out the Christmas mugs, jumpers, hats etc once a year - the same ones year in, year out. They have meaning then. If they have outgrown the PJs, buy some that work at other times of year too but have a festive feel - like red tartan. Candles don't have to cost much. A £5 M&S cinnamon and orange candle will scent the whole house. But light the ones you still have from last year first. I have loads of candles to use up.

Think of it as not wanting to clutter your home with tat. Also, ask tyourself: what feeling do I want these purchases to create? Once you know what it is, you then ask yourself: How else could I get that feeling without wasting money on clutter?

outerspacepotato · 19/11/2025 12:03

Go on a low buy for a period of time. It makes you much more conscious of what you're spending your money on and do you really need that shiny new cup or whatever.

OriginalSkang · 19/11/2025 12:02

I think all those things are tat, so its not hard to ignore them