Aibu? Mum visiting…

And this is important too. You're letting this woman come above a sick and grieving man.

put a stop to it today. You're not supporting your husband by allowing this.

You really need to be standing up for your DH here. You need to cancel the whole visit. Your DH is needing you and your support here. It's not fair on him or anybody else.

tell her she will need to book an Airbnb and she won't be coming in. You need to stand up for yourself and your family here as by allowing her in for 'just until Sunday' which enables her even further, you're showing her that she can do whatever she wants.

your poor husband.

please send her away and have a conversation with her about boundaries. She sounds awful.

She can't stay until Sunday.

This isn't fair on your DH. I understand she's your mum but she's taking the pxxx. I would book her an air b and b or room if you can afford it. If not insist she stay just for the three days. Good luck! X

You are being so unreasonable to your DH.
Get her gone asap. She won’t like it, but you have a marriage to protect.

they only have to stay 2 days maximum so why she thinks she can get away with doing this to us is a mystery.

She gets away with it because you've always given in and let her. DH is already off work with stress and you haven't stood up to her, adding to the stress.

Your DH has a DW problem and you handwringing on MN isn't going to change that.

As painful as it is maybe when she arrives you need to take her out for a coffee where you explain she cannot stay and take her back to the train station. Don't risk your marriage.

What kind of ticket did she book? Isn't it usually cheaper to get an open return?

You really can't let her decide how long she's staying in these circumstances. You'll absolutely have to tell her

I’ve suggested it above, but I really do think you need to have a polite but firm word with your mum once she’s settled in (ie not in the first 5 minutes, just to keep the peace!) saying that she needs to keep the visit to 3 days as DH is really struggling. She’ll just have to pay for a new train ticket. It’s not the end of the world. If she bangs on about the cost, just this once I would probably end up paying for the new ticket myself just to get it dealt with, but not another time!

No. You need to send her home.
Buy her ticket and take her to the station.
Tell her it’s not a good time. End of.
Your poor DH…

She can't hang around the house whilst your husband is off sick and grieving, she needs to go home tomorrow, it's his home and they don't get on.

Just tell her no!
'mum you booked your tickets without confirming. It doesn't work for us and you cannot stay here. If you are still intending on coming I suggest you book an Airbnb, ill send you some links.'

your poor husband should not have to put up with your interfering and entitled mother who tramples over everyone else's boundaries.

Pay for a one way ticket home in a few days time.

Do you visit her? Or is this how she ensures she still sees you?

Either way she needs to stay elsewhere, or not at all. If money is the issue then how does your DH feel about contributing to the Airb&b cost?

For this visit I’d buy her a ticket for Friday and tell her she’s going home - you already told her it was inconvenient.

Edit - I see you visit her for a decent stretch. She’s completely unreasonable. And if your DH is actually off work unwell then you’re unreasonable to allow her to intrude - how would you like your mother in law setting up camp in your living room and picking on you when you were that unwell you couldn’t work?!

I’d be annoyed too. In future when she starts making noises about visiting, give her set dates that suit you - mum, you can come on X Y or Z days but that’s it. If she says they don’t work for her then she doesn’t get to come. If she goes ahead and books tickets regardless then she gets them refunded or loses the money. Be firm and set boundaries.

You need to book your mother a hotel or room somewhere else, she is being very rude and you need to stand up to her.
I feel really bad for your husband, your mother is being very unreasonable ans so are you allowing this.

yep, what’s her plans all day if everyone’s out at work and school?

But her a ticket home for Thursday.
This isn’t fair on your DH at all.

And maybe take this time to have a rethink about visits generally. Instead of 2x weekly visits a year, suggest 4x 3 day visits

I don't blame your DH for being in a stinker of a mood. If she's coming today, I'd be telling her that I'd told her this wasn't a good time, that it's very hard for DH with the first anniversary of his Dad's passing, and she'll have to take us as she finds us, and I'm really quite annoyed. Further to that, I expect her to be sensitive to DH's loss, and pull her head in with him. And that going forward, any trip is to be pre-agreed and no more than three days, or there will be no room at the inn.

Bloody mothers!

Book her a hotel now op!