How do you work your finances

We combine everything. It’s what married people do. We are a partnership in EVERYTHING we do.

So he just covers bill money and does no chores?

you need to raise the latter as well but he does sound checked out

I earn double what DH does (used to be a bigger gap but he’s catching up!) and tbh I can’t tell you exactly what our splits are but generally I put twice as much into all the joint things than he does because I earn twice as much. If he was contributing 100% of his wage and having to scrimp while I had money spare that would be very obviously unfair

I give DH 25% of my income every month and he sorts all the bills. This was because I was unemployed last year and he wasn't, then I was temping, so weekly paid abd it was easier he managed all the direct debit.

Im monthly paid now but still give myself a weekly allowance on a Friday as that's what im used to and find it easier to manage. The rest goes towards savings/ debt repayments/ big things. After being unemployed for most of last year and still not in particularly stable employment im wary of big spending now.

At the moment I’ve gone back to education so it’s 100% husbands wage.

He pays it all into the pot, we pay our bills/expenses/ savings then what’s left is split in two and put in our private accounts to do what we want with.

I do most of the housework, obviously, as uni isn’t every single day. But he does all the laundry - that’s his task. He says I’m shit at it 😂 And I’m in charge of the house Reno (not that I’ve started yet) so he doesn’t have to think about it.

When I work again it will all go into the pot as his does.

Is this a wind up! Your poor dh. Love that youve actually listed beds 😆

Contribute to the household pot in proportion to wages or all in one pot and have equal free spending money

your percentages are wired , oddly specific yet failing to
add to 100

Your maths doesn’t work but I assume you’re saying you contribute the same amount towards bills, you have hardly anything for personal spending and he has loads?

we each get paid into a joint account, from which bills go out. All expenses go onto a credit card we share but is in my name which we pay in full every month. There is no his and hers because we are a family. I am the higher earner btw. DH’s salary roughly covers bills and mine is split between credit card bill (which varies as we’re often paying for holidays etc on it) and savings. Savings are in individual names but we each have the same amount roughly to manage tax free allowances.

We put everything into one pot.

He earns more than twice my salary but we are a partnership.

We combine. It’s unfathomable to me for financial inequality to exist in a marriage, why get married?

As soon as we bought our house we pooled our earnings. We bith worked exactly the same job initially, but I was a single parent (100% parent).
Always been shared. We couldn't have kids of our own ( we tried lots of treatment). I changed jobs, dont earn anywhere near as much as he does. Mainly at home so I do most of the chores/mental load. I can spend what I want on myself without question /or asking. I am low maintenance, simply a haircut every few weeks.
Amazingly we never discussed any if this other than literally, ' as we are buying a house shall we do a joint account' (married the following year).
We did discuss if we had kids I would take time out, as there was no way I was working full time and paying someone ⅔ of my wage to look after my child.

Unless there are considerations you've not mentioned I think the "equal personal money" model works well. So the 40% you've identified as "spare" money that's not for essential bills is evenly divided between you and your partner. But it's worth digging into what this money is actually used for. If it's actually for household/child related expenditure or for things like work commuting costs it shouldn't be in the personal pot. The fact you have no idea where your partner's "spare" money goes is interesting but it does mean you are assuming he spends it on himself without knowing this is the case.

I also think the "equal work" model works well. This is often easier to express as equal leisure time. So either count up how much work you do - including paid work, necessary commute, housework, childcare. Or count up how much time you have when you are doing none of those things.

Household expenses plus a buffer for emergencies is split proportional to income and paid into joint account.

Salary and personal savings kept separate. Would never be in a relationship where finances are completely shared, that feels so wrong to me albeit I know it goes against the MN norm (although pretty common for separate finances in my real life circle)

We are a family and a team, we both get paid into our joint account where all bills, food shopping, MOT’s etc are paid from.

We are both then sent the same set amount each month to our own individual accounts to spend as pocket money on what we like. Clothes, trips with friends etc.

Anything left after in the joint account at the end of the month goes into joint savings.

My husband earns more than me but he has the same view as me that we’re a team and what’s the point in one person struggling to get by whilst the other has plenty of spare cash. We’re in this thing called life together and if one succeeds so does the other.

This. Your numbers don’t make sense.

But to answer your question, I pay 100% of the household budget, I keep 10% of my pay for “my” spends, and give him 10% of my salary for “his” spends. DH contributes 100% of his salary to joint savings (including holiday savings, house maintenance savings, mortgage overpayment and long term savings).

We have entirely separate accounts and no joint. But we both just spend whatever and don’t keep track.

All bills paid.
Fixed amount in joint account that we both have a card to for household costs like fuel and shopping.
Equal amounts each for personal spending that doesn’t need to be discussed with the other person (I spend mine on hair and nails, DH is saving for a new games console).
Everything else is jointly agreed e.g. put in savings, put towards holiday or home improvements. Most months will go for a coffee and agree any outstanding financial stuff together.

It doesn’t sound like there is any benefit to you or your dc of remaining married to this man. He’s lazy, selfish, financially abusive, happy to keep you trapped financially, and you don’t like him (I wouldn’t either). For your dc, this is a terrible example to role model. If he has every other wonderful characteristic, then tell him, it’s 50/50 round the house when you’re both home (why wouldn’t it be), it’s 50/50 disposable income (why wouldn’t it be) or you’ll seek a divorce.

Your percentages make no sense. Do you have a lodger? A philanthropic benefactor? Do benefits cover the other 40.6% of the household expenses? How do you contribute 100% of your income to the household budget and have 3.7% left for nails?

Get your figures in order so your DH can't poke holes in your arguments because clearly this isn't remotely fair. And you do need to sort it out with him

To answer your question. Everything goes in the joint account and it's our money. Pre kids I brought in double DH's salary. Now he brings in 4x what I do. It makes no difference to us, it's shared money. In terms of household jobs: he cooks every night, cleans the bathrooms, does DIY and we share family life admin.

This 💯

He’s taking you for a mug. Here’s what I’d say.
”DH, you’re not pulling your weight both practically and financially. We are going to open a joint account and pay in both our full salaries. The household expenses will come out of that and the remaining split between us once savings are taken out. Here’s the household chores that need doing - this is your list, this is mine. Any questions?”
Obviously the money bit is dependent on whether you’ve chosen a less well paid job or to work part time.

Snap, I genuinely don’t know why anyone would accept less.