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Do you give her Dc a present for an outstanding school report

107 replies

Heseemslovelybutheisextremelyshort · 18/11/2025 23:40

Or do you just say Well done?

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Lulu1919 · 20/11/2025 15:20

We would have a reward...like trip to Burger King .but I'd take both kids ...more of a celebration

Ddakji · 20/11/2025 14:52

catontheironingboard · 20/11/2025 13:26

Just to add to my post above, my parents were also big proponents of the “exam results should be their own reward” school of thought, and I felt my successes were not only taken for granted by them; but kind of looked down on somehow as not really requiring any effort. When it did actually take effort and commitment, and I was upset they never really recognised that.

Edited

Yes. I got a slap on the wrist for the O levels I failed, but no congratulations for those I passed.

catontheironingboard · 20/11/2025 13:26

Just to add to my post above, my parents were also big proponents of the “exam results should be their own reward” school of thought, and I felt my successes were not only taken for granted by them; but kind of looked down on somehow as not really requiring any effort. When it did actually take effort and commitment, and I was upset they never really recognised that.

HappyGolmore2 · 20/11/2025 13:21

We’re proud of them and have told them that, and yes I think having something fun to acknowledge that is fine!

HappyGolmore2 · 20/11/2025 13:19

Heseemslovelybutheisextremelyshort · 18/11/2025 23:40

Or do you just say Well done?

We have this time because one turned around from a pretty poor report 6 months ago to an good one this times and the other went from good to exceptional - both were because the kids were really trying…
Not money though, told them to pick a reward and one wants a sleepover with a friend on a night we usually say they can’t do a SO on and the other more weekend games time.

Ddakji · 20/11/2025 13:19

Ambridgefan · 20/11/2025 13:03

No neither did I I hate the whole concept of rewarding children for good grades. The reward is the good grade! Children should be brought up to understand the worth of education they shouldn't work hard to get cash they should do it because it's in their interests.
Also some people struggle a lot more than others. If I was going to reward anything it would be for trying and good attitude but not for good grades or a good school report

Once DD entered secondary school I changed my mind on this pretty quickly. The current set up is absolutely not about kids getting a good education. They are tested and examined to death and mainly just taught to pass these tests and exams. DD developed a really nihilistic attitude to education in her first secondary school, thought school was utterly pointless. Her confidence was really knocked and so yes, I’ll reward her when she does unusually well.

I despise the “education” our children are currently getting.

catontheironingboard · 20/11/2025 13:15

Going against the grain here, but as a child who consistently got very high marks and exam grades and whose parents never rewarded me for that in any way, I quite often felt pretty much like all the effort I’d put in on my schoolwork went completely unappreciated and ignored. I didn’t want presents and fanfares every time or anything like that, but the occasional treat in recognition of my achievements would have been really nice.

My parents very much ignored my results or only minimally praised them, on the grounds that many posters give above on this thread; and I ended up feeling like I’d always done what was expected of me at school and home, but that that was never acknowledged or rewarded in any way (including in case siblings felt left out, or I “started to expect it”).

Especially when other kids received presents for money for GCSE results etc., this left me feeling a lasting sense of my parents never having been pleased with me or proud of my achievements. It’s not helped my relationship in later life with them at all. And I think this often smacks of a kind of intellectual reverse-snobbery that’s particularly common in British society, which thinks academic achievements should be ignored in case a child gets “above themselves” or “big-headed”, in ways people would never apply to, for example, musical or sporting successes.

DH and I don’t go overboard, but we make sure DD gets some kind of small gift or treat and a card for doing well, to acknowledge that it does require effort and work and commitment, yes, even from a naturally bright child, and that her academic successes are valued as much as any other aspect of life.

Slothisavirtue · 20/11/2025 13:09

I reward the effort not the end result.

BeMellowAquaSquid · 20/11/2025 13:06

My ex partner took our daughter to Dubai for passing her 11+… I took her to Nandos.

Ambridgefan · 20/11/2025 13:03

cornflourblue · 18/11/2025 23:51

No. Nor do we give cash for good exam grades

No neither did I I hate the whole concept of rewarding children for good grades. The reward is the good grade! Children should be brought up to understand the worth of education they shouldn't work hard to get cash they should do it because it's in their interests.
Also some people struggle a lot more than others. If I was going to reward anything it would be for trying and good attitude but not for good grades or a good school report

Qualityroses · 20/11/2025 13:01

Icecreamisthebest · 19/11/2025 00:02

No. Kids need to learn that pride in their achievements is enough. And it's the parent's job to teach them that.

I agree with this. DS has always received 'greater depth' and got top marks, etc. He has now just started getting mock GCSE marks which are all 9s. I've ever given any monetary reward at all. I've always drummed into him to have pride in his own ability and work.

AliceMcK · 20/11/2025 12:58

Yes but it’s not consistent or big. Once all 3 DDs had excellent reports and had had a fantastic term with multiple achievement awards so we decided on a spontaneous dinner out at their favourite restaurant and also gave them an extra £5 spending money. Other times we might be out and they see something they like we will say you know you’ve don’t so good at school, your report and parents evenings have been brilliant you can have it.

i was always slightly jealous of school friends who got money for exam results. My parents didn’t give a shit, they cared more about me skipping school to work and pay board than actually getting an education.

I don’t see anything wrong in giving kids an incentive to do well in school.

Millytante · 20/11/2025 12:44

Whose daughter are you on about?

Icebabyice · 20/11/2025 12:39

Sahara123 · 20/11/2025 11:29

My children are in their 30’s now, when they were at school there were parents who gave their children £50 per A grade !
Even mine were a bit astounded.
We usually went out for a pizza or something to celebrate that it was all over and they’d done their best.

One of dds friends was offered £200/A £100/B & £50/C. Problem was the kid was never a hard worker when it came to school work and his parents always indulged him, so he quickly forgot about the incentive, seeing it as a bit of a joke - which was how he saw a lot of things. I’m sure he’ll be very successful in life but he’ll likely never be A* Student.

Mrsmessyhairdontcare · 20/11/2025 12:25

no but we got a takeaway (Dominos) for an outstanding parents evening report.

Natsku · 20/11/2025 12:22

zingally · 20/11/2025 10:13

I never got anything for a school report, but I did get financially rewarded for my GCSE results in 2001.
If I remember correctly, it was £100 for every A, and £50 for anything C or above. With my 1 A*, 7 As and 2 Bs, I made a tidy sum!

I got money for my gcses too, in 2003, but it was a fiver for a C, tenner for a B and so on. Less than a C and we had to pay our parents money! I got all Bs so worked out alright for me but at least one of my brothers ended up owing money.

Sahara123 · 20/11/2025 11:29

My children are in their 30’s now, when they were at school there were parents who gave their children £50 per A grade !
Even mine were a bit astounded.
We usually went out for a pizza or something to celebrate that it was all over and they’d done their best.

3hairspastfreckle · 20/11/2025 11:24

We celebrate with a takeaway or nice food of some sort

Parker231 · 20/11/2025 11:22

No - there is an expectation that they will work hard. They are not rewarded for doing what we and their school expect them to do. There are consequences at school and home if they don’t work hard.

GreenGodiva · 20/11/2025 11:14

We would buy a special treat like kfc or McDonald’s on the day of parents evening, just as a Well Done and because we were typically not at home to cook. Kids chose, they had to agree between them.

sisagdhihh · 20/11/2025 11:02

Rubbertreesurgeon · 20/11/2025 10:19

Never. One of mine is highly gifted and talented and the other one has severe learning difficulties. I couldn't image rewarding my super bright child with their glowing reports (DC achieves academically without too much work and effort) and not my other child (who works a lot harder) but who is working about 10 years behind their chronological age. I use school reports as a document to inform me where the DC are education wise and plan next steps from there (both have EHCPs and are in specialist settings).

Edited

I’m in a similar (not quite so stark) situation, but that’s why we reward effort not specific grades. Effort looks different between my 2 and the output is certainly different, but they both put in levels of effort that deserve to be rewarded.

Pleasegodgotosleep · 20/11/2025 10:20

We take them to pizza hut which is a specific treat only for that 🤣

Rubbertreesurgeon · 20/11/2025 10:19

Never. One of mine is highly gifted and talented and the other one has severe learning difficulties. I couldn't image rewarding my super bright child with their glowing reports (DC achieves academically without too much work and effort) and not my other child (who works a lot harder) but who is working about 10 years behind their chronological age. I use school reports as a document to inform me where the DC are education wise and plan next steps from there (both have EHCPs and are in specialist settings).

BlackeyedSusan · 20/11/2025 10:17

I rewarded mine after the exams, before the results because I was proud of the work they did in preparing which is hard for them. Spent a lot of money on bribery to get them to school on time. (Disability makes it hard, meal out was their currency) It was bloody expensive but the results were worth it.

vitalityvix · 20/11/2025 10:16

When I was growing up I used to get “prizes” for achievements which were worth about £5. I would add them up and then my dad would take me out to spend my prize money. I’ll do the same with my two kids but will probably increase the value to £10 as it’s been a while since I was a child 😂

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