Page 3 | Im not sure what to think?

sellthebigissue · 2025-11-18T20:48:52+00:00

Not sure what to think of this comment.. Bit of back story. Ive had a baby every year for the last 3 years. Im currently 22 weeks pregnant. When I fell pregnant with our first in 2022 I was a healthy 80kg, attended the gym regular, ate well, walked alot, you get the gist. 3 years down the line, pregnancy has taken its toll. Im around 93kgs, veen extremely poorly over the last few years during pregnancy. Admitted to hospital more times then I can count. Suffered sever Hyperemesis Gravidarum, im severely anaemic with a ferritin of 7. Awaiting an infusion. Just you know, alot. I have been feeling insecure about a number of things, body changes ect and my DH is especially attractive. Very authentic, loves the gym etc. So I feel im constantly comparing myself to other women. He this evening has said to me.. and I quote... "I wish you walk more. You've lost definition in your bum. I used to love your bum and now i just like it" (I can barely breathe lying down never mind walking to get a better bum). This is followed by a comment from this morning where he was winding me up with a pair of the babies socks. When I was trying ti get them. He kept dropping them on the floor. So I just huffed but I wasnt mardy or angry, just more like hurry up ive got an appointment and he said "You'll know when I dont love you anymore, ill stop winding you up. Either I dont love you or something else is going on with someone else" And im honestly hurt by these comments more so because hes NEVER ever said anything like this and i dont know how to take it or if im just being a hormonal mess. Please can I have an outsider perspective, men and women. Not arsed if its harsh truth. Thanks.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 18/11/2025 21:46

He’s leaking his true feelings OP.

TeenLifeMum · 18/11/2025 21:40

“I’m busy growing an actual human, but you’re not happy with the shape of my arse while I’m doing that? Are you really that much of an arsehole?”

Ilovemychocolate · 18/11/2025 21:37

Why is it that we bring life into the world, then fucking men don’t like it because our bodies (obviously) change?
He is being an utter misogynistic cunt, and tbh I think you need to call him out on it.

Arlanymor · 18/11/2025 21:32

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:26

Honestly thank you.
Writing this has actually made me realise that I dont feel comfortable to sit him down and tell him how its made me feel as im worried for his reaction and im alarmed by this. I for sure know he will say that hes just telling me the truth but does that really make it okay? Im not sure.

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Thank you for taking this in the spirit that I meant it - I am angry for you, because it's really not on. I would be alarmed if I felt I couldn't discuss it with him too. You should be able to talk about anything with your partner - the good, the bad, the ugly. It's called being a team, and for you it's even more than that, it's making strong foundations for your family. Unless he is usually utterly lacking in self-awareness then surely even he would see that 'I'm just telling the truth' is in no way a get-out-of-jail free card for upsetting the person you say that you love. I think someone I work with is a massive tit and I would never tell him - and I am not in love/in a relationship with him. It's objectively the truth but it doesn't make it alright to say it. I'm trying to think how to help you with this now as I don't think it should be allowed to fester and you shouldn't have to go on feeling this way.

Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:29

BluntAzureDreamer · 18/11/2025 21:22

You've every right to be upset, he's being a cock. He should be going out of his way to support you and make you feel amazing. The sock thing is childish and irritating, not what you need at 22 weeks pregnant and even a fucking 10 year old knows you don't comment on a pregnant woman's body, let alone the other of your children ffs. Please don't just put it down to hormones, I think as women, we forget we're bloody ALLOWED to be upset when people are dicks, and we blame it on hormones, when really.... No, he's just a dick. Tell him how you feel then let him make it up to you. If he's not arsed that he's upset you then you have bigger worries. Best of luck x

Thank you.
Ive just replied to someone else and honestly i dont think i feel comfortable confronting him because i think deep down he will just tell me hes just telling me the truth (which i guess he is?) and I think he will expect me to accept that and move on. Im so glad i posted because I have never thought abiut him from a different perspective before.

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jamcorrosion · 18/11/2025 21:28

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:16

I have always thought so but now im questioning my life choices.
He does often speak without thinking but hes never said anything like this to me before hence why im a bit upset about it.

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Is there anything in particular that’s making you question yourself?

If you’re otherwise happy I would honestly speak to him and tell him everything. Don’t let him get away with saying ‘im just being honest’ that’s not an excuse for hurting your wife’s feelings. If he does respond with that immediately then it’s clear he isn’t taking you seriously and getting defensive and if that happens I would be seriously unhappy.

Theres a lot of comments on here about how awful he is and always must have been but try not to take them all to heart. Those are judgements based off one tiny snippet you’ve shared.

Only you will know if he is a good man and a good husband and father. Nobody has ever divorced anyone over one hurtful comment. But only you knows if it is just one or if there’s anything else going on?

Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:26

Arlanymor · 18/11/2025 21:18

Why would someone need to tell you that they 'never perve at other women' - it's ridiculous. People who say this are usually protesting too much. I am not saying he's tried it on with anyone, there is no proof of that, but increased conversation about your body parts and potentially not fancying you in the future is horrible OP, it really is. He should be admiring your amazing body for being able to bring three lives into this world, not putting you down. I would be more than a bit upset and I would sit him down and tell him how his behaviour is making you feel. Also you've been really ill recently - does he think this kind of stress is helpful to you or to the baby? Sorry I am deeply unimpressed by him.

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Honestly thank you.
Writing this has actually made me realise that I dont feel comfortable to sit him down and tell him how its made me feel as im worried for his reaction and im alarmed by this. I for sure know he will say that hes just telling me the truth but does that really make it okay? Im not sure.

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Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:22

Ericeric · 18/11/2025 21:19

Does he work?

Hes just been medically discharged from the military

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BluntAzureDreamer · 18/11/2025 21:22

You've every right to be upset, he's being a cock. He should be going out of his way to support you and make you feel amazing. The sock thing is childish and irritating, not what you need at 22 weeks pregnant and even a fucking 10 year old knows you don't comment on a pregnant woman's body, let alone the other of your children ffs. Please don't just put it down to hormones, I think as women, we forget we're bloody ALLOWED to be upset when people are dicks, and we blame it on hormones, when really.... No, he's just a dick. Tell him how you feel then let him make it up to you. If he's not arsed that he's upset you then you have bigger worries. Best of luck x

Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:21

Waitaminutewheresmejumper · 18/11/2025 21:15

I'm finding this very difficult on many levels. Don't you like your babies? You keep popping then out, unable to enjoy any of them because you are so poorly each pregnancy and now you'll have 4 under 4 with a man who's a bit of a knob. I think you need therapy and contraception.

Why would you assume i dont like my children because my partner said he doesn't like my bum anymore?. Its an odd assumption to make. So it assuming i havent enjoyed any of them? Im a grown woman, im aware of my choices with regards to my body and contraception wasnt on the cards. I wanted my children close together.

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Ericeric · 18/11/2025 21:19

Does he work?

Arlanymor · 18/11/2025 21:18

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:13

Sorry its 3rd baby. 22 weeks with third baby. Evidently didnt make that understandable. But honestly, it was choice. I always wanted my babies close together although my current pregnancy was not planned. It is what it is. Its only recently ive noted a subtle change. Maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore as a whole. Maybe someone else has turned his head however he always said he never pervs at other women. Maybe im naive.

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Why would someone need to tell you that they 'never perve at other women' - it's ridiculous. People who say this are usually protesting too much. I am not saying he's tried it on with anyone, there is no proof of that, but increased conversation about your body parts and potentially not fancying you in the future is horrible OP, it really is. He should be admiring your amazing body for being able to bring three lives into this world, not putting you down. I would be more than a bit upset and I would sit him down and tell him how his behaviour is making you feel. Also you've been really ill recently - does he think this kind of stress is helpful to you or to the baby? Sorry I am deeply unimpressed by him.

Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:18

arcticpandas · 18/11/2025 21:14

He's a dick. And it's madness being pregnant non-stop when you have got health issues! But a bit too late for that I suppose. Ofcourse pregnancy takes it's toll. It took me a year to get back to where I was before physically and you haven't given your body a chance to recover for 4 years! Were they planned?

I dont think ive made it very clear. This is my 3rd pregnancy. 22 weeks with 3rd. Yes the first two were planned. Cirrent pregnancy wasnt as i was so ill with my second I didnt want any more however here I am.

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tinytemper66 · 18/11/2025 21:17

He is a prick

JudgeBread · 18/11/2025 21:17

Letmeloveyou · 18/11/2025 20:58

He’s a dick! Why keep having babies with him?!

She's already 22 weeks pregnant, what do you want her to do? Cancel her subscription?

Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:16

jamcorrosion · 18/11/2025 20:58

No that’s not acceptable. Is he a good husband in general? Some men are not awful people but speak without thinking and/or are thoughtless or just stupid. Are you happy generally?

If you’re in a usually good marriage and you’re both happy I would sit him down and explain how it made you feel - tell him everything you’ve written in here. How he reacts will tell you lots.

I have always thought so but now im questioning my life choices.
He does often speak without thinking but hes never said anything like this to me before hence why im a bit upset about it.

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Waitaminutewheresmejumper · 18/11/2025 21:15

I'm finding this very difficult on many levels. Don't you like your babies? You keep popping then out, unable to enjoy any of them because you are so poorly each pregnancy and now you'll have 4 under 4 with a man who's a bit of a knob. I think you need therapy and contraception.

Homegrownberries · 18/11/2025 21:15

He sounds awful.

arcticpandas · 18/11/2025 21:14

He's a dick. And it's madness being pregnant non-stop when you have got health issues! But a bit too late for that I suppose. Ofcourse pregnancy takes it's toll. It took me a year to get back to where I was before physically and you haven't given your body a chance to recover for 4 years! Were they planned?

Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:13

ChillBarrog · 18/11/2025 21:08

Nvm that, why are you pregnant for the fourth time in three years when you've been so ill due to it?
What kind of madness is this?

Sorry its 3rd baby. 22 weeks with third baby. Evidently didnt make that understandable. But honestly, it was choice. I always wanted my babies close together although my current pregnancy was not planned. It is what it is. Its only recently ive noted a subtle change. Maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore as a whole. Maybe someone else has turned his head however he always said he never pervs at other women. Maybe im naive.

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Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:09

Thepeopleversuswork · 18/11/2025 21:00

He’s a manipulative bellend and he’s negging you. Has this only just started?

Yes, he made these comments today but ive noted over the last couple of weeks a subtle change in mannerism toward me.

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ChillBarrog · 18/11/2025 21:08

Nvm that, why are you pregnant for the fourth time in three years when you've been so ill due to it?
What kind of madness is this?

Original poster

sellthebigissue · 18/11/2025 21:08

Thanks for the comments so far.

Yes its a typo for athletic.

As my post states. Its the first time hes ever commented on my physical appearance in what i believe, is a negative light, so its taken me back a bit. He just randomly said it whilst i was settling the baby to sleep. I took myself away to be sad for a moment because I know hed say "im just being honest" if he knew he'd hurt my feelings.
The relationship hasn't always been rosy, no one is perfect and I do often think he speaks without thinking but I guess its hurt my feeling because its not like ive willingly let myself go. Ive bought beautiful life into the world. He always says he never looks at anyone else other than me but I feel thats not true for him to have a negative feeling towards my appearance.

I dont know what to think. I just know its not a very nice thing to say as there's not much I can do atm due to growing my baby and pregnancy related health issues. Im hoping to get some weight loss injections after this baby.

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FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 18/11/2025 21:04

I mean I'll hazard a guess that he's always been a shallow twat so why hasn't it bothered you before...?
Anyways, I couldn't have sex with such a specimen but clearly you're ok with it as your numerous pregnancies show. Doesn't sound like its doing your health or body any good though so you might want to think about that.

Thepeopleversuswork · 18/11/2025 21:00

He’s a manipulative bellend and he’s negging you. Has this only just started?