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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how would you feel if your do was going on a weeks holiday with their family?

113 replies

Loveduppenguin · 18/11/2025 19:58

Just as the question says. Partner going on a holiday with their parents and brother (just the 4 of them) no partners. Parents are paying for the flights and accommodation. Your partner will just have to pay for food and entertainment etc.
you are not being left with dc or anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 07:31

EleanorReally · 19/11/2025 07:26

as you have dc i think it is strange of your parents to organise this

They did ask us before they booked, it wasn’t a surprise.

OP posts:
Dearg · 19/11/2025 07:29

Enjoy it Op. my DH and I used to do this or similar every couple of years, mostly because I could not bear to be with MIL for long periods. Sil ( DH Brothers wife) felt the same.

i think it’s quite healthy to have some time apart; you friend , or her husband, are unreasonable here.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 19/11/2025 07:29

It’s fine but a little strange as you both have kids.

EleanorReally · 19/11/2025 07:26

as you have dc i think it is strange of your parents to organise this

Iocanepowder · 19/11/2025 07:23

Go for it op! Before kids (who are still a lot younger than yours) my DH still used to go on holiday separately as well as together.

Shedmistress · 19/11/2025 07:22

It's a great suggestion, I might make it. They could go to the USA where his brother is. That's a 10 day minimum break. Get in.

I was due to go with my mum and brother back to Canada for 10 days in 2020 but Covid put a stop to it. My OH never raised an eyebrow.

Walkerzoo · 19/11/2025 07:19

I would be delighted. House to myself and not having to spend time with the in-laws. I would suggest they go away for longer

TastelessMiserySand · 19/11/2025 07:12

I think it's lovely and have very recently encouraged my DH to do something similar with his folks and SIL.
I don't have siblings myself, but I think it is a rare treat for their 'original' family to have time together, without the change in the dynamic that comes from having partners and DC around every time. Parents won't be around forever so if you can carve out some special time then go for it.
It should work both ways though - if partners later want a holiday, then they're also entitled to the time.

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 07:11

firstofallimadelight · 19/11/2025 07:03

No young kids and not impacting on having a family/couple holiday. I’d be fine with it.

Well I do have dc (age 10 and 12)but they will go to their dads(we are separated) and my db has dc but they are teens.

OP posts:
Giraffemug30 · 19/11/2025 07:09

Personally I would be greatful I didn't have to spend a week with the in laws and looking forward to an empty house for the week

Plus I think it's good for DH to have time with his parents without me

I do a weeks holiday with my family each year without DH, snd Dh does one with his parents, we aren't glued at the hip. We are invited to the respective holidays though but both have limited annual leave so chose to do it this way

GreyCarpet · 19/11/2025 07:03

I wouldn't have any issues with it and neither would my partner.

Why does your friend think it's unfair? Is it the thought of the partner missing out on a holiday or the thought that couples should do everything together?

firstofallimadelight · 19/11/2025 07:03

No young kids and not impacting on having a family/couple holiday. I’d be fine with it.

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 07:03

DaisyChain505 · 19/11/2025 07:00

If my partners siblings had partners going I’d be feeling a certain way but I don’t see what’s to get upset about if it’s literally parents and siblings.

You’re not being victimised or purposely left out.

No, no partners just the nuclear family as such.

OP posts:
DaisyChain505 · 19/11/2025 07:00

If my partners siblings had partners going I’d be feeling a certain way but I don’t see what’s to get upset about if it’s literally parents and siblings.

You’re not being victimised or purposely left out.

Original poster
Loveduppenguin · 19/11/2025 06:58

Sorry I fell asleep. Yes I’m the one going away with my family. My DP is actually fine with it, it was my friend who was surprised and thought it was unfair and that her dh would not be happy. Neither my dp or my SIL mind to be honest so just gauging opinions.

this is not annual, this is the first time since we were children ourselves that we are doing this.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 18/11/2025 23:54

RecordBreakers · 18/11/2025 22:51

@Loveduppenguin It really would help if you added some context, as you were asked to 1min after you first posted, nearly 3 hours ago.

I agree, the first post is difficult to navigate.

RecordBreakers · 18/11/2025 22:51

@Loveduppenguin It really would help if you added some context, as you were asked to 1min after you first posted, nearly 3 hours ago.

LBFseBrom · 18/11/2025 22:36

Partner going away with 'their' parents? That sounds like more than one 'partner'. Then you say partner, brother and parents (4 people). It's a bit confusing,

You "are not being left with dc or anything"; does that mean you will be left alone, have no children or children are elsewhere?

It seems a bit odd for these parents to be taking their two adult children away for a week without the children's partners, if they are in long-term and committed relationships. I wonder why.

I wouldn't mind being alone for a week, if everything was above board.

Merryoldgoat · 18/11/2025 22:20

No kids to look after? I’ll drive them all to the airport!

hellowhaaat3632 · 18/11/2025 22:17

Nice! Peace and quiet

Sourdillpicklesandmore · 18/11/2025 21:58

Mydogsmellslikewee · 18/11/2025 21:48

It’s like a race to who can be the most offended on here sometimes, especially when in laws are involved. I am quite capable of looking after the children alone for a week while dh enjoys some time with his parents and sister. Who knows how many years they will have left together.

It’s madness how so many people on here would take such offence to that.

Show quote history

I have absolutely no issue at all if dh and his family spend time together without me! I love having the house to myself!

But it depends on the context doesn’t it?

If you are continuously and purposefully excluded from family events by pils then it could be deliberately disrespectful. And most people would find that hurtful.

If though op’s relationship with in-laws is ok, friendly and normal the rest of the time, then it’s fine.

Op hasn’t been back to provide context so we don’t know do we?

Mydogsmellslikewee · 18/11/2025 21:48

HairOil · 18/11/2025 21:16

I agree, but some Mners feel it’s ‘disrespectful’ that they’re not included in the invitation.

Show quote history

It’s like a race to who can be the most offended on here sometimes, especially when in laws are involved. I am quite capable of looking after the children alone for a week while dh enjoys some time with his parents and sister. Who knows how many years they will have left together.

It’s madness how so many people on here would take such offence to that.

HairOil · 18/11/2025 21:16

Jk987 · 18/11/2025 21:05

Are you serious? That’s a great thing to do! I didn’t realise having a partner means you can’t have fun without them!

I agree, but some Mners feel it’s ‘disrespectful’ that they’re not included in the invitation.

Jk987 · 18/11/2025 21:05

Are you serious? That’s a great thing to do! I didn’t realise having a partner means you can’t have fun without them!

AliTheMinx · 18/11/2025 20:58

I'd be absolutely fine about this and hoping they have a fabulous time.

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