To ask how would you feel if your do was going on a weeks holiday with their family?

Surely you understand the dynamics change depending on who’s around? My brother can’t go anywhere without his wife and it’s not that we don’t like her, we really do, but sometimes time spent with someone is different on their own. Daughters seem to be allowed that courtesy, no one bats an eyelid if a daughter spends time with her parents on her own, but with sons you’re supposed to want their wife there all the time too.

Because of the shared responsibility of childcare? If I wanted to go away for a week, my husband would need time off work to be home for the children. Doesn't mean parents can't take holidays, but it's a lot less complicated without needing to make childcare arrangements.

I'd be a bit hurt that his family didn't want me to go too, I think. (But then I've never had experience of happy nuclear families so I don't really know how they work!)

Why is it weird to want to spend time with your parents and siblings without having to deal with small children?

This ^
Also on condition that it doesn’t affect any major events like my birthday/partner’s birthday/, Christmas/Easter etc etc

Oh some people are weird about that stuff. And some people who are weird about that stuff are weird about people who aren't weird about that stuff.

DP and I often go away individually, we can, so why wouldn't we?

I’d tell them to have a lovely time and enjoy the peace and quiet 😂

Because when you go away with children, everything centres around them. It’s hard to properly relax, you have to think about them constantly.

Going away as a group of adults is far more relaxing without the responsibility of keeping children safe all the time.

Not everything in life has to revolve around the children. It’s one week.

It would just require more of a discuss ion and depend on circumstances- age of kids/support etc, I wouldn’t automatically be fine with it. For some people it’s no issue and for some it’s more difficult.

My parents, sister and I all go away together once a year. We take all our dogs but no children (they stay with their dads) or husbands invited. It's absolutely lovely - just two week of dog walking, good food, no child (or husband) dramatics.

Bliss.

Sounds lovely. I’ve been away with my parents and siblings without my dh.

Just enjoy! I do this annually with my mum. My DH is fine with it as he's doing similar.

Why would young kids make a difference?

I have children. My husband and his sister are going away for 4/5 days with their parents in a few months, I suggested it.

My children make zero difference to what’s happening.

An adult holiday is very different to a holiday with kids. And parents have relationships with adult children, having a partner always there changes the dynamic. It sounds like it’s a one off. I honestly find it so more weird that people are obsessed with kids being there 24/7, they have other carers, they’re not being neglected.

I think it's a bit odd tbh, now that you've explained that you have DC. Why don't they want their GC there? Most GPs would love to spend a week with their DC and their GC. As for your DP, it depends how long you've been together. If it's a serious relationship and you live together then yes, it's weird, if it's not, then IMO it's fine.

It’s fine, I wouldn’t have an issue with it. If it was regular and might be the only holiday he takes that would be an issue though.

I guess it might depend on the relationships involved though, does everyone get on well usually or are difficulties?

Your friend is the weird one here!
I would have no problem with this and neither would my DH, no one in our family would.

I’ve left DH with our kids before to go on holiday with my family (no partners) it was a one off for a milestone birthday for my mum, we’ve not been together just us in decades, it was really special for her. Would absolutely support DH doing the same.

You fell asleep after starting a MN thread?

How do your kids feel about you going off on the holiday?

Before you said you both had children I thought it sounded lovely. I’d like to do that with my parents and sibling. But having quite young children has changed my opinion.

I wouldn’t go and do something pleasurable for a w eek with the family of my children and not take them because I wouldn’t want to.

@Loveduppenguin

"you are not being left with dc or anything"

I don't understand that.

We do this reasonably often. DH's cousins live abroad and he goes on holiday with them as they meet up in Europe about every second year. My parents and sister live in Australia and I go almost annually to see them and we go away.

We also see each other's families as well, but it's not unusual to have a blood-family get together. I've never thought that much about it tbh.

I think it’s a lovely thing to do! I would love to go away with my mum and just my siblings. We could pretend to be kids again!

Ignore the friend and have a fab time.