What do you think of this situation? unreasonable or normal?

And again, I disagree. Regardless of whether they need to money or not, as a parent he’s not at liberty to work without sorting out his own childcare. If she agrees to provide it then fine, but she is well within her rights to refuse to do so. His children are not her responsibility.

This
You take all the kids, surely?! Nasty to leave some out. If you've "got the kids for the weekend" then you've got the kids for the weekend. You all go together and you say so to your sister that "they'll be coming as well, hope that's ok?" If it's not, then you arrange another time with her.

Some of these women will be an ex wife who dumped a useless man because she realises her own self worth.
But she will then expect his partner to go along with it all because it suits her. It’s a comforting thought knowing there’s a woman slaving about papering over the cracks because you know your ex is still the prick he was when he was with you. Whatever protects your mummy heart. 🙄

Omg this breaks my heart. I would have given anything to get my SKs to accept me.

The women here who are blaming Sarah definitely put up with endless shit from the own men in their lives. You’re part of the problem, ladies! Raise your own standards.

The welfare of two young children should always come to first m if she yes issues with her husband she should adrtees them not take it out on the children. It was cruel and unnecessary

The stepmother is probably tired of putting them first, nor is it her responsibility to do if their own parents don't.

Being self employed doesn't mean letting clients down. Being a father doesn't mean leaving the kids with their stepmother during time they're meant to be with him.

I didn't say he was providing for her- nobody knows as it's not in the OP. This conversation started because a pp said that would be relevant context to know, at which point you said it was irrelevant either way. Of course it's not.

Ridiculous! You find another way, take 2 cars, meet them there and get your own way there by public transport - don’t just cut off two children who should be treated the same way as the husbands 3rd child. If the step mum doesn’t like it then she should have stepped away before getting together with a man who has children already, not just knock them down the ladder of inclusivity

If he doesn't work he doesn't get paid, self employed or not!

I am self-employed, weekends and holidays have a higher rate.
I can choose not to work at those times but my clients won't pay me for sitting at home = no pay.

Being self employed doesn't mean letting clients down.

We still don't know what he actually does as OP still not back.

Loving the insane fantasising about Sarah and all the vile names she's been called. What a cesspit!

I believe there is no love between john and sarah. It cost sarah nothing to take all the children with her. John, where did you go wrong? Trace your step back and talk things out with sarah. I am sure she's hurt somewhere....

I had wanted to take DD aged 3 to the aquarium and thought I'd ask DSis if she and DN would like to come too. DSis works so hard during the week, and she could do with a break and we wanted a catch up.

She agreed, but her DH had decided to work that day, leaving her (yet again) to look after her stepkids who are 7 and 9.

The stepkids are nice enough, but them coming along would have changed the outing. We couldn't have all fitted in one car for a start, and the older DC would have needed tickets.
I had particularly wanted to discuss some personal family stuff with DSis, and we could have done so in front of the DC, but the stepkids are older so we couldn't with them there. They tend to carry tales back home to their mother.

I always thought DSis was great, my dear sister and best mate, but she took the stepkids and left them with their father, and only brought DN to the aquarium. The cold, heartlless bitch.

I was tempted to push her into the aquarium, but that would have left DN with only a father, and he has no time for actual parenting, so DN would have been dumped on the nearest female, probably his mum, me or his XW.

Step mum's always have to self sacrifice eh?
The only thing I would've tried to do differently is to go on the days that the step children were at mum's.
But I'm sorry but a child age 3 is nothing like children of 7 and 9.
When I take my nearly 3 year old out, we spend the whole time in the under 5 section of soft play etc
Looking after 2 different age groups would be difficult.
And why should a mum of 1 look after 3 kids alone, 3 kids are hard to look after? At the very least dad should be doing 97% of parenting of his own children!

But yeah, step mums, damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Apparently step mum's have to share all the pain and none of the rewards, another post a few days ago where a step parent was complaining about not being invited to her step daughter's 18th, what did people say? Shes not your child. 😂 🤣
So there you are OP, they're not her kids!

I don't give a shit if people think I'm a meanie though 🤷

Maybe the issue was that they wouldn’t all fit in the car

Maybe the issue was they wouldn’t all fit in the car

That’s a really nasty thing for the step mum to do - honestly, if you have a blended family, you have to treat them fairly. Saying that I wouldn’t want my young children looked after by a horrible person who didn’t want to involve my children anyway, if it was my son at that age he was a flight risk and I wouldn’t trust her to care properly if she doesn’t give a hoot

So when Sarah dropped them off, John should have cancelled work and taken them out for the day. If he didn’t, OP should have contacted John when the children came home, asking to change the contact schedule.

Or are we only expecting the stepmum to guard the children’s feelings, not their actual parents?

No matter the rights or wrongs of either parent, the other two children should not feel excluded or marginalised. They feelings come first.

His children. Not hers.

That’s the point, we have no idea. If Sarah is a fully financially supported SAHM who looks after SC once a month that’s entirely different to if she’s working full time and solo parents them both days of every weekend.

But rather than considering that, PP are rolling in to virtue signal and insult the woman.

We have no idea whether Sarah does either. People are just making all that up to suit themselves.

Why can't she take all the kids? Rather mean if you ask me.

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