Meeting a baby

She says they have met grandparents and great grandparents. It's just uncles and cousins etc.

This! All depends and also depends on everyone's set up. My MIL lived 5 minutes away and was annoyed she didnt get to meet our first until he was two days old. She'd moved two hours away for the second couldnt be arsed to come back so didnt meet him until 5 weeks later when she happened to be local. So basically people being grumpy / insistent is all situational, too. They'll get over it.

But where not talking about extended family where talking about parents and siblings. Obviously a random cousin who you haven't seen for 10 years and lives in Australia is not the same as your own mum and sister.

My parents were on the ward following my emergency c section within 4 hours. Siblings of both sides visited us at home within a week.we did the same when nephews and nieces were born.

A month seems an age. They've missed out on the newborn stage.

My daughter is now overdue with my first grandchild, my initial gut reaction is I could manage to wait about 10 seconds, but I will of course play it by ear and leave it up to them as to whether it’s in the hospital or when they get home!
I think with other local family I’d hope they would get to visit in the first week, but ultimately it’s up to the new parents. A month seems an awfully long time for aunts and uncles.

I think that it depends on the kind of visit. If your friends and family are nearby and literally want to stop by, say hello and congratulations, give you a present and be on their way then you are probably being a little OTT by keeping them away.

If the friends and family are further away and the visit will need more logistical planning and require them to stay for longer than it takes to drink a cuppa then it's more understandable.

At the end of the day, the people that are wanting to come and see you and your baby care about you (and presumably you care about them) so just have a conversation with them and find a middle ground.

You haven't had a c-section.

Lots of people aren’t physically or mentally up to receiving visitors shortly after birth.
Often family don’t live locally so a journey to see a new baby is a bit of a mission and the family will want to spend decent time with the baby when they get there.
Not everyone loves or even knows everyone in their extended family.
People are busy with their own kids and jobs.
People often have very limited space for visitors.

I was living in a one bedroom flat in London when I had DD. My parents and sister did visit within a week of the birth but tbh I wouldn’t have wanted cousins and Uncle Tom Cobley and all tipping up to inspect the baby.

It’s exhausting and heaps additional stress on at an already stressful time.

Because not everyone’s family and friends are on the doorstep and can nip in for a quick cuddle. When we had DS we were newly living in a tiny one-bed central London flat, and all of both our families lived overseas — our parents didn’t know London and weren’t confident on public transport or in big cities, so would have needed to be found a hotel, collected from the airport, escorted to and from their hotel and looked after for the entire duration of their visit, and I had an infected CS scar and no milk supply.

I was keen for everyone to meet my babies. With dd2 (homebirth) I popped down to see my pregnancy yoga class the evening after she was born at 2am. With dd1 the whole family went to France for the day for my mum's birthday when dd1 was 1 month old. For me it would've been really weird to lock ourselves away for a month. But each to their own.

Pretty much straight away. Why wouldn't you its family and friends. I had no interest in locking myself away for months after having a baby. If we where American we would already be back at work by that time.

A few of my uncles haven't met my son and he's near 2yo! (Tbf they live abroad and clearly couldn't care less).

A month is a short time in the context of a whole childhood. And a baby is quite boring really at that age, they just feed and poo and sleep.

I don't think you're being unreasonable but all the same, I'd invite them over soon as it won't do anyone any harm to start getting into an up-and-out-of-the-house routine.

Whenever everyone involved feels like it. It’s not like the baby has a ‘view by’ date.

I find the rush to “meet” babies immediately after birth quite bizarre and a bit entitled tbh. Birth is traumatic, settling a baby into its new home is challenging. Everyone is sleep deprived, its new and unsettling. The last thing most new mothers want is a queue of well meaning people traipsing through their home with well meaning but off topic advice who need catering for.

The idea that relatives have some God-given right to charge into this fraught and fragile environment is very odd. People can bloody well wait until you’re ready. The baby isn’t going anywhere. Its not about their needs, its about you and your baby.

A month is fine in my book.

I think all my dc met all their aunts and uncles within a few weeks of being born, even though some of them lived 200 miles away- they made it a point to drop in and say hello, even if only for a short visit. Local friends and family met the babies within a few days. The whole neighbourhood met DS3 on day 5 as I was doing the school run by then!
Obviously if someone was ill you wouldn’t want them breathing all over the baby, but otherwise it seems quite antisocial not to let people meet the baby, unless on doctors orders.

I would expect to wait until mum felt ready.

All 3 have met close family and friends within a few weeks.

Tbh after a month I would stop asking and wait for the invitation.

My dd met her maternal grandparents and uncles and aunties in the first couple of days and then paternal side after a week. Great grandparents and friends were after a month. If you’re close to your brothers/sisters then over a month is a long time.

This

When you feel ready. Nobody gets to insist on seeing him.

Each to their own. I was always happy to have company for the endless breastfeeding sessions and loved to introduce my new babies to my loved ones. Also always excited to do the same for my friends, siblings etc.

A month is too long if you are close, but if you don't have much to do with each other then not as much.

When you feel ready.

When DC was born, we made it clear we were taking at least two weeks to settle down. In hindsight, wish I'd said a month because we were being hassled constantly.

It's also such a rollercoaster of a time, with potential feeding issues, birth recovery, etc. Plus being in cold and flu season, it's only natural to want to have some boundaries. Maybe just tell people you're excited to introduce them, and that you will be back in touch with them when you're ready?

Omg I'd have been gutted if my family hadn't shown up within days to meet my kids

1st baby - born at 1pm or so, parents there by about 4pm. 1 sibling came at 7pm with snacks for me! The other came the next day .
2nd baby - parents brought DC 1 about 2 hours after c section. Siblings cane within 24 hours (dc2 was premature in nicu)

Still waiting to meet my two great-nephews born over a year ago; they live locally too! The family forgot to tell me about the birth of one of them; I found out by chance on social media. No falling-out or anything. A bit strange I suppose.