To think there’s something special about my child?

Of course. But I was pointing out that the majority of fee paying schools are based on if you can afford to send them rather than huge academic talent. Whereas grammar schools you have to take very difficult entry exams to get in. That would be a bench mark for op to use as to how clever her child is.

You sound like an amazing parent, rightly proud of a gifted child. Hold onto what you do give her and not what you can't.

I’d like to more about the teaching herself 2 instruments. There’s playing nice tunes on the piano and then there is reading and playing actual music. I’d like to know what the instruments are and how she plays them. My daughter makes up some lovely songs and plays them on the piano but I wouldn’t say she’s taught herself the instrument because she can’t read music and she doesn’t understand things like scales, chords etc. if OPs child has actually taught herself to play the violin and the harp or something and can play them to a high standard then that is definitely impressive

I could knit and crochet by age 9, and that was in the 80s, long before the Internet and Google, etc...I just somehow knew how to. No one showed me.

We can do the strangest things as kids, which no one taught us. Kids just seem to pick certain things up.

You do not need validation from strangers on an internet forum, the important thing is that you know your child is remarkable. I would hope that all parents think their kids are the most intelligent, talented, gifted and beautiful people in the world. Having parents who think you are the bee's knees is a great confidence booster for a child and something to hold onto when they inevitably experience knock-backs in life. I know that my own parents' unshakable belief in me was always an immense comfort and support.
I'm pretty sure our 10-month old is also a prodigy so I know how you feel!

Lol at the parents saying she sounds very normal. OP, I think she sounds amazing and obviously super bright and talented. My DC are older now (and amazing kids but not G&T) and some of their friends were like yours, I don't think there is anything you need to be doing especially, she'll find her own way as she gets older and probably go on to do great things.

Exceptionally good at crime 😳😂

She sounds incredible and you should be so proud.

the grit it takes not to give up on something will be her greatest asset if she keeps that into adulthood.

it means she’ll be incredibly successful at whatever she decides to do in her life.

I also did so much of this, and work in problem solving.

You are a parent. It is a good thing that you appreciate your child.

I think mine are fab and im very proud of them.

That should never be a bad thing.

My eldest DD got into an excellent girls private school here with a scholarship. We also have a bursary too, but it was definitely all on merit and her own hard work/abilities. If we'd still lived in Bucks, she'd have probably gone to one of the grammar schools there too.

Not all private school pupils have rich parents - some are just very bright.

No she doesn’t!
op she does sound exceptional / gifted. Maybe ask the school if they have any provision for gifted kids and start now looking for a secondary that does. Move if you have to. She will need stimulation to fulfil her potential, but even if she didn’t get anything extra she’s sure to be a successful adult. Don’t give her a phone or social media too early!!!

She sounds lovely, very similar to my eldest at that age. He is at university now, living his best life.

I was a bit like this as a child. I am a fairly normal adult, but I now work in a high paying job that is about solving problems and transformation for different businesses which keans into my abilities and way my mind works.
I have adhd, so those hyperfocus times when I learned the guitar, flute, read the bible from cover to cover when I was 11 and bored, made 100 small characters out of fimo clay, asked for a chemistry set and did all the experiments, learnt knitting, started crochet, made a wooden jewelry box.. read A picture of Dorian Grey when I was 9, these I now know were hyperfocuses. Its not a bad thing, just an ability to foxus in on one topic and learn it at the speed of light, then move on. These are adhd traits.

To be exceptional by MN standards the child would have had to be self taught and attained grade 8 with distinction in both instruments by age 6. There would still be a few posters saying that was average in their circles.

I volunteered in a prison once where some of the inmates had committed horrifically violent crimes which left life changing damage to the victims. Every single one of them had a mother that thought they were exceptional.

Say you’re jealous without saying you’re jealous.

this girl is definitely not average, come on…

Only on Mumsnet would an 8 year old who taught herself two instruments be called average and not exceptional! You’ve got to laugh.

She sounds fabulous and despite your perceived lack of intelligence and resources, I think she’ll be just fine. You sound like a lovely mum.

She sounds hard working and bright.

How is she with other kids her age? Does she play? Does she value relationships and playing as much as her achievements?
Those things can get neglected, we can forget sometimes that they are children, not little adults.

I think it’s lovely you’re so proud, many good parents feel the same way you do. I think mine is the cleverest girl ever, and when she was a baby, covered in baby exzema, the most beautiful baby to be born ever.

but it is also important to temper it op, so you can support your child where she needs it, and she will, and does. Like every other human. And thay doesn’t mean money, it means love, a listening ear, and an advocate.

💐

Yes parents should think their kids are great - and she sounds lovely.

However - I'm unsure how much of this is just persoanlity or parenting or if it's an issue yoy do have to manage - because from below it could be either.

She is strong willed, determined, likes to be in control of her own day etc. All can be qualities, but can be really tricky in a world where we have places to be and a schedule to stick to. And when she is unhappy, she can be quite turbulent.

I had two very much like this - DD1 went down assemnet route and they ruled out ASD but later one found she has - ADHD - dcd, dsylexia and few other things - DS looking into similar diagnosis. They both have hyper focus thing and disorganisation - one especailly needed head up about upcoming changes and struggled with transitions - all three are like DH with little projects all on the go.

They are both at good uni doing courses they love and seem to be coping really well and they were overall hugely enjoyable to parent.

Money was increblnly tight when they were young and I did worry we couldn't do or give them every oppountity or even one some of their peers had but tried our best and they had happy childhoods and grew up fine - and I think that's a common worry.

This was me as a kid - I was reading by age of three and I was a Mensa member by the time I was six. I also had the wilfulness you describe of your daughter. That's how it was described back in the 80's but no doubt these days I would have a diagnosis for pathological demand avoidance. I have done nothing spectacular with my "intelligence". I have to be self-employed in my chosen career because I only want to do what I want to do when I want to do it (cheers PDA). I could have been a brain surgeon, but my "nah, not doing that today" personality wouldn't really fly in such a profession.

Don't label her "special" yet - because you may well find she is a very different kind of "special" to the one you currently think she is and I say that with love, no malice.

She sounds just like me as a child. As an adult I’m the type that will fit some shelves, plumb in a washing machine and repaired the toaster while a man is still looking for good boiler suit and screwdrivers. Is great that she’s so independent!

To brag

She sounds like a normal bright and clever child. I work with that age at primary school and a small proportion of the class are like your daughter. Some are much less capable than that and would not be able to attempt to write their own books, have the confidence to perform for others or the drive to do their homework and learn things for themselves. Most are much more average and somewhere between the two.