To think there’s something special about my child?

She sounds a bright determined child who will do well no matter what situation she is in. I don't think she sounds autistic or gifted as she is too well rounded. If she is happy and doing well making friends at her own age level I would say you have nothing to worry about. BTW, lots of children these days learn stuff off YouTube. I know mine did. It's just a generational thing.

@ContinuewithGoogle That's why it's so sad when lazy posters complain about parents who give activities to their children everyday, saying they should just stay at home and learn to be bored.

Did you read the OP? Her daughter learnt how to knit, play instruments and wrote a book! If OP had taken her to fixed activities every day she would never have found her inner creativity and strength. All child psychiatrists will tell you that children need free playtime where they can use their imagination and creativity. I think some parents are anxious about not scheduling every waking hour for their children to take part in a structured activity.

To say that parents are lazy because their children don't have an activity planned everyday is just plain stupid. Lazy is to not think about what is good for your child's physical and psychological wellbeing and just put them in activities everyday so you feel that they are occupied and you don't have to interact with them.

To be honest, all my children have had teachers say at their recent parents' evening that if they had a class full of DD1, DD2 and DS, they would be the best... (I am sounding incredibly bragging now, which is dreadful, I know!) God knows what they do at school- behave in very angelic ways, unlike all the disorder at home lol 😆

I'm not sure what i do to make my children so good at school, I literally am the most laid back mum who tries being kind but supportive. I guess it must be working as apparently I am doing a great job 😅😳 DD1 teaches herself crocheting, making bracelets, and is grade 6 at bass guitar after 18 months 🫠 I have no input into any of her learning - some people are truly driven, like the OP's DD.

Seriously though OP, enjoy your brilliantly talented DD, she sounds wonderful. You sound a kind, lovely mum ❤️

I was a bit like that as a child. I would write, illustrate and direct plays for my cousins to act in. They weren’t children’s story lines either. Quite adult themes. I was about 7/8. I would also write and illustrate full length comics and tried to teach myself French out of some old fashioned text book we had lying around the house.

I was distinctly average by the time I left secondary school and now I’m in a shit job with no discernible talent. Any imagination or creativity I had back then has completely evaporated. I peaked far too early sadly.

I think the point is that lots of children at that age so some degree of precociousness but not necessarily in the same area. So maybe not writing little mini books with chapters but maybe doing maths at a level way beyond average. Or teaching themselves some maths topic or knowing everything about a topic. Butterflies or the solar system. Or being unusually gifted with a football or golf club. Or having weirdly developed social skills

She sounds lovely. I don’t think you have to do anything other than let her enjoy doing things her way and be ready for when the hormones hit.

I don’t have low expectations of children, I’m just aware that most of them are too busy watching K Pop Whatever It Is to be knitting scarves, writing books and learning instruments independently.

I just took special to mean “outside of the norm,” and from my experience what OP describes is just that.

I don't have smart or bright kids, and they won’t be conventionally successful. I’m also not really bothered if the internet thinks they’re special, but I still don’t believe OP is wrong for thinking her daughter might just be above average in some areas.

no, they're not all teaching themselves knitting because most of the ones I know have 0 interest in knitting 😂

It might be outing (to them) but one little girl I know did secretly make a quilt out of a relative clothes after their death, with no training or lessons. She just figured it out.

It's really depressing if you really believe it's not "average" to have the majority of children shining in one or several areas, and to have such low expectations on kids.

My kids are in perfectly bog-standard average environments. No one is putting down the OP's child, nothing wrong with being a bright and driven child, but the question was "is my child SPECIAL" ?

Answer is: special to YOU of course, but special compared to other children of the same age? No.

As long as a child is smart, bright, successful, and happy, who cares if they are special anyway?

I would agree with this.
Not gifted, but certainly bright. Encouragement support and nurturing

My DD must be totally backwards then, because she was nothing like this.

I think the OP’s child does sound pretty exceptional but perhaps that’s just me.

Half of the class is not teaching themselves knitting and musical instruments for fun. That’s not average. If they are, your children are in some very specific, very high achieving, circles.

Is what you’re saying that OP’s child is talented but so are other children so she’s still not special?

That just seems unnecessary to even say. A simple “yes she sounds talented” would suffice.

They really don't like it when you brag about your kids on here, so hardhat on OP.
My kids are naturally really bright (but a bit lazy) but I would prefer if they were determined to succeed like your DD. She does sound amazing.

you are missing the point.. yes, most of us will know such a child, and most of us know that half the class is "talented" one way or another. No one is pretending it's THEIR child.

So define "average". It's normal or common for kids to be talented.

It's a balance. It's essential to have supportive parents, but parents blindly believing - and pushing the idea on their child - that their normal child is "exceptional" is not great.

Facing reality will hurt, or they will accuse everyone to be jealous and treat them unfairly, and they will grow up very lonely.

Most schools will have very brilliant children, an exceptional sport child, or an astonishing artist, or a genius mathematician.. one or many. They will have however a majority of parents believing theirs are "gifted" and exceptional, when they are just.. bright, smart and lively normal children.

She sounds gifted, and very special.

Oh, you know many children who can teach themselves to knit and play two instruments?

Why is everyone so keen to tell this woman her child is average when she clearly isn’t. We don’t all need to develop an inferiority complex because our children haven’t taught themselves the trombone 😂

These theads always go the same way on MN 'she sounds perfectly average to me'

'They all catch up in the end.'

Well, no they don't (of course they don't! surely no-one thinks we all end up on the same intellectual level?)

I had one little girl who read very early, played the violin to an unusual degree of abiliity, got scholarships to multiple private schools; she ended up studying violin at the Guildhall and still plays in various orchestras today, while being very content in her job as a nurse.

Then came DD2 - clearly unusually bright from an early age, very quick to everything, ended up getting a first at Oxford for BioSciences, top scholarship at her college in the second year, then won a prestigious studentship for a DPhil at one of the best labs in Oxford. I never did a thing to push this, just relied on her teachers, gave her opportunities, etc,

(if anyone thinks this is very braggy, I will complete the story by saying that brilliant DD2 gave up on her DPhil and went to work with horses at a local stable, then took a job at a local farm planting stuff. Now a happy SAHM, who plays in a local brass band.)

So you won't know the path that lies ahead for your daughter, but it's a myth that 'all children even out', and it's also a myth that academic/creative ability guarantees a glittering future. Steer a middle course, make sure she's happy and not pressured, and support her in whatever she chooses to do.

But... do make sure she has music lessons, if you can. Not just intellectually enriching, but also lasts long into later life, even if it's just playing in a local band, or playing the piano at Christmas for the family.

Sorry OP If she’s not even the smartest in her class, she doesn’t sound exceptional at all
Having said that, I don’t think it does a child much harm growing up with parents who think they is exceptional. Much better for self esteem than the alternative.

As a kid I was always writing poetry. I’d get top marks for essay and composition writing at school. I remember my mum saying “she’ll be a writer when she grows up”. Grown up and can barely string a sentence together. 🫣

Well done, there is a little girl in DS class, she's 10, I've known her many years, she is similar, fierce determination in every thing she does, it is a gift, but I'd imagine that it has challenges, when the confidence borders on smugness, it can be challenging.
Keep encouraging her to be brilliant.

Writing a few chapters, (which really can mean anything) sounds very normal for an 8year old to me. Not that it isn't impressive, but it's well within the capabilities of lots of the 8yos I know.

Yup, dd is incredibly bright but often so lacking in any common sense, it’s bordering on worrying.

I also have a child who likes to be in control and can play musical instruments by ear, due to being neuro-diverse. (Not saying that your daughter is at all but I relate to having a 'tricky' creative child.) I still remember the first time he played a nursery rhyme on his toy keyboard I couldn't believe it. Definitely doesn't get it from me. Enjoy your daughter she sounds great.

It really isn't normal - but yes, quality counts.
It isn't normal for them to teach themselves knitting from YT either.
She sounds very creative and driven OP - excellent traits to have. Children like this will succeed in their own interests, under their own steam.

How mean- OP’s daughter sounds way above average, confident, bright, motivated. She’ll go far in life, especially as her Mum sounds very supportive. The daughter sounds like my granddaughter, who has succeeded in everything she attempted to do, and not everything went smoothly. She is now a capable, mature , confident young woman of whom we’re all immensely proud, just like OP will be.