DH night away 38 weeks pregnant

Yes I agree with this 👆 tell him it's irresponsible of him. Who is going to help you get to the hospital and take the child to the grandparent's house?! He shouldn't even consider going.

Mind blowing. This is one where perhaps it's okay for him to go down for the afternoon, but I'd expect him to a) limit his drinking and b) prepare to come back on the last train. I mean, I guess if you were feeling totally fine and relaxed, you could agree at 9pm that okay, he stays over, but that seems unnecessary. he really can't cut back on drinking for ONE night?

And I say this as someone who loves a drink, regularly takes a bus/cab/train to go out so I can enjoy a drink etc but who is also perfectly capable of just having one or two when necessary if I have to come home early or drive or be prepared for the next morning.

He’s an idiot. My second was two weeks early, no warning signs, 5 hours after first contraction she was born. My first took 3 days.

He could very easily miss the birth if he goes and leave you to do it on your own. Why would he even contemplate that?

He is not engaging his brain or he is being incredibly selfish

I'd say that you are very much an outlier in your ability to cope with giving birth to twins without the support of your DH and with two other children under the age of 5.

Did you give birth at home overnight when your other children were in bed or were they in the room with you while you gave birth?

Your situation is very far from the norm and there is a reason that fathers are encouraged to be present at the birth to support the labouring mother.

Your very unique experience and how you handled it doesn't mean that OP is wrong to expect her DH, who isn't working away, to turn down the invitation to a day of drinking in London with an overnight stay when she could go into labour at any time.

If your husband is going from the afternoon into the evening, then he's going to be drinking, and likely be tipsy. The last train home is 10 pm, so what would be his plan if you went into labour at midnight???!!! How would he then get home, so he could be there to support you and be there for his child's birth?? The reality is that isn't going to happen! He'd likely be too tipsy/drunk to travel even if he could find a way home and be in no state to offer you any support. If it was the afternoon, he wasn't going to drink too much and planning on coming home before the last train, I might have said, that's OK. However, that's now not the case and he wouldn't be back home before the following day. His priority now should be you and your unborn baby, not going out with his friends - he needs to make sure he's there for the birth and more importantly to support you. There's plenty of time in the future to meet up with friends and sometimes being a responsible adult comes first.

If it were the few hours afternoon meet up (as he originally said) then yes but it's now become something else, so I'd say no.
Could he compromise on making it a shorter event?

He won’t want to get a train as early as 10pm !

Is this some of sort of joke?

I agree that you should put this decision entirely on him. Be very clear about what he would be risking, ask him what he thinks would be “the right thing”’ to do. He’s not a child he shouldn’t need you to tell him how to do the right thing. I hope he doesn’t let you (and himself) down.

I saw that comment too and also thought it was profound: “think about what a decent person would do in this situation and do that”.

I’d say it’s not your decision and that it’s for him to decide. At the end of the day if he chooses to see his friends over staying either you then it tells you everything you need to know to know about him!

Where do you find such juvenile @ ssholes and why do you put up with it?

Nah. I’m usually quite relaxed but Dd2 arrived fast and out of the blue with no warning at 36 weeks. In your scenario Dh would have missed the whole birth entirely.

His pals and his drinking is more important to him than you and his child and his unborn child .

I would be so disappointed in him OP for even suggesting this.

Well I'm an independent woman so I wouldn't have stopped hubby, I'm perfectly capable of sorting things myself and with our recent twins he was actually working away I was home with 2 under 5s ...was all done and dusted by the time he got home tho home births are easier well they were for me but ye had plenty of family and friends if I had wanted them but I was all good

No drinking in the last month. Ready to jump in car to hospital.

I don’t think he should go either. I used to be fairly chill about these things thinking there would be signs labour was coming / time to get back but my first baby took about 40 hours of labour whereas my second was 2.5 hours start to finish with not a pre warning sign before at all. It’s not fair for him to be so far away with no means of getting back and being drunk. Think how much you’ve had to miss/ give up being pregnant - he can miss one thing.

Someone on here (and I wish I could remember who because it was genius and they deserve all the credit) a comment that this needs to be his decision. Not making you choose between being a big meanie or a cool wife.

He needs to chose. The genius went on to say that anytime a man puts you in this position you should tell I’m that he should think about what a decent human being would do in this situation, taking into account all the factors, variables and priorities, and do that

Thats what I’d say to him. Don’t be put in the position of decision maker. This is his choice. And it will tell you what kind of man he is.

Basically this. men who even consider doing this aren't decent human beings. I can't imagine a decent man deliberately wanting to be so far away and very likely drunk with a heavily pregnant wife at home. Where's their concern for their family?

Tell him clearly you need him to be there for you.

That you're frightened and worried about what might happen.

That you, your baby and your toddler need him to step up and be there, to be husband and father first.

Ask him to stay - and to want to stay.

This is his duty now. Ensure he knows that's how you see it.

What he decides to do will have consequences - because you'll know if he goes that him having a jolly was more important than his wife feeling safe and supported and comforted at a critical time.

And if he decides to stay, if that involves sulking and moping - especially if the baby doesn't come and he complains that 'see, I could have gone and it would have been fine'? Well, that will also tell you that he didn't want to be there for you at a critical stage. That you meant less than his good time.

Ask him. Tell him. Observe him.

Would not be happy with this, he's cutting it a bit fine! I'd actually be pretty peeved he's considering it and is able to have a piss up jolly without the worry of his wife going into labor hours away! Surely he can give this one a miss.

Absolutely not!!! 2nd babies come quickly. He shouldnt be even be drinking. Bang out of order him even going so close to yr due date

He can see his mates anytime, but his wife will only give birth to his second child once, and there are no do-overs.

The risk that it could happen while he's out and you'll have to give birth alone, without him there, should be enough for him to want to stay home with you.
He needs to sort his priorities.

Why are you even entertaining this my considering if your being unreasonable for saying no

tell that selfish twat no way in hell
what a utter cunt