DH night away 38 weeks pregnant

I had my first born at 38 weeks. Dh was offered tickets for The Ashes that day but turned them down.

Nope, life doesn’t end when you have a baby. There will be years of opportunities for nights out to come. But this is one of those times when he needs to say no. I couldn’t even imagine choosing a night of drinking over possibly missing the birth of my child. 😳

Both my babies arrived at 37 weeks!! I’d be saying absolutely not!!

Yes, I agree actually - don't ask him not to go.

Just ask him to carefully consider what a kind, decent compassionate husband and father would do at a time of potential crisis when his frightened wife needs not to be alone.

And when he's decided, to do that.

Put it in writing.

And find out who you're married to.

Can you both come to a compromise, he can go but he has to have a train booked in the evening to return home? (And he also doesn’t need to get drunk)

I am usually relatively relaxed about this sort of thing, but there is a chance he could miss the whole labour. I think he might have to give this one a miss unless you can arrange to go to yours/his parents for the day if he really won't miss it.

I think your husband needs to give this one a miss. It sounds like an all day drinking sessions. Even if he got the train back early in the morning. He will likely still be drunk and unfit to drive if you need him to.

My second baby was born at 38 weeks. YANBU.

Can't he compromise and see them earlier then get the last train back rather than drinking and staying over?

Or perhaps he has a spare £500 for a taxi back should he need to get back in a hurry????

I think this post is utter nonsense. I don't think many women give birth to twins at home. this is a windup IMO

I feel your pain. I am 37w and DH is away with work on Thursday- 3 hours away and has offered to go for the dinner but not stay over. How generous! I can manage with other dc but worry about something happening while he is so far away.

I’d say go to him. With a toddler and a newborn there will be lots of times you need him more.
If you were to go into labour at 38 weeks you could call him, I assume you have someone else to look after your other child though.

Whether it's a one-off or not is irrelevant if he goes on this trip and OP goes into labour and he can't get back to support her. OP is in the North East and her DH will be in London, hours away. OP doesn't have any family nearby apart from her MIL who would need to look after OP's toddler so OP would need to labour and give birth with no family member to support her or advocate for her.

The fact it's so far away and if he misses the last train he's stuck there for the night is why I think you're not being unreasonable, especially on your own with a toddler who you'd need to source care for while in early labour. If it was 30 mins away and easy to get back home that would be very different.

I would ask him to give this one a miss. I had my first at 37 weeks and 3 days. DH had been a couple of hundred miles away on business that day and he rang me to say that it was snowing heavily and he wouldn't be able to make it home. I was fine about that, but he turned up in the evening having decided to risk it.

Just after midnight I went into labour. I went from nothing at all to full throttle in a few minutes. I was so incapacitated I needed help to get my shoes on. There was nothing on the roads, which was just as well as DS1 was born shortly after arriving at the hospital. I genuinely feared he would arrive in the car. I would have been in a total state if DH had not been there.

You also have a young child to care for. Goodness me, he needs a shot of reality!

At 38 weeks, he should go but there needs to be a contingency plan.

I’d say no to this. Last 2-3 weeks before our due date my husband stopped going his football days out and stopped having and drinking incase he was needed to drive. Some might think it’s a bit much and he was maybe just over an hour away but he has poor signal at the games and didn’t want me to be unable to contact him.

Everyone is different but I think at 38 weeks your more than entitled to say I really don’t feel comfortable with this and as your partner he should be prioritising how you feel right now and supporting you

My husband wouldn’t even consider going tbh.

As a PP said, put the decision back on him to make. He is likely wanting someone to blame rather than making the decision not to go himself. Express your concerns and wants but in the end leave him to make the decision.

My DH wouldn't have stayed out overnight and wouldn't have drunk enough to not be able to drive that close to my due date. Our joint decision was always after 36 weeks that was reasonable. Key is it was out JOINT decision not me telling DH not to do things or DH asking for permission to do things.

Not sure why some posters are saying things like hes a selfish cunt etc. there really is no need to be vulgar.

Id be fine with this and would ask my mother or someone else to accompany me...and that is IF i went into labour...

Its one day.

Some of the responses on here are utter nonsense. Op your 38 weeks you’ll be fine without him for one night. Let him enjoy a night out with his friends

I think you’d be fine at 38 weeks if he’s going out as a one off. Different if he wanted to go out every weekend

I don’t think dH should put his v near giving birth DW in this position! All pregnancies/births are different, neither of you should make any decisions based on birth of your now toddler.
He can have a drink @ home & act like a responsible adult?

I disagree with this sort of approach. Op is having their joint child and there's an older child to consider. If you cannot be demanding at this time when can you be? I'd tell him to stop being so bloody immature, stupid and selfish, because clearly he is too thick and immature to do the right thing. Men like the OP's husband are exactly the sort to go on a drinking jolly right about the time their wives are about to give birth, and once he's done that what's the point of 'knowing everything you need to know about him'? How does that knowledge help her once she's stuck with him with 2 kids?

clear communication is so crucial, we read all the time on here about women who've built up insurmountable resentment towards their husbands for their selfishness over the years. This isn't the time to be passive aggressive, it's the time be clear and firm and lay it out in words of one syllables.

I went away from London to Edinburgh for a few days in week 37/38, but it was a phenomenal course that I had a one-off chance to join for free, which really helped my career and, therefore, the family in the long run. I say this to position myself somewhat as someone who recognises it can be OK to go and not just to bash him. I felt awful, and no way I'd have done it for fun with my mates. My wife was late the first time and had her sister close by, all in all it felt just manageable, but in his case he needs to show some responsibility, parenting takes some hard choices and putting your family first, I don't actually think this is a hard choice.