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Original poster

Not going halves with friend on lunch

235 replies

Rachaelf37 · 17/11/2025 22:30

So I went for lunch with one of my close friends a few weeks ago. She chose a slightly more expensive main and after had a small pudding whilst I just had a hot drink. When it was time to leave she said shall we split the bill. I said shall we just pay for our own as I didn't have a pudding.
I got a slight discount with a card I had (gave us both a discount). I then worked out my share rounded it up slightly and paid mine. She paid hers but was complaining why can't we split it.
I already had explained I was pretty broke that month for various reasons.

She is now not talking to me, weeks later. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
alligatorshmalligator · 17/11/2025 22:38

YABU. If you’re that skint don’t go out for lunch. It’s just penny pinching to argue over a few £ just because you didn’t order the exact same meals that cost the exact same amount. The fact you won’t pay an extra few quid shows how much you value her as a friend anyway. I’d understand if she ordered a steak and a bottle of wine and you just had a bowl of chips but it doesn’t sound like that from what you’ve said

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/11/2025 22:38

It’s fair enough, although depends whether you both usually have more of an “it all comes out in the wash” approach and there have been times you’ve ordered the more expensive items and still gone halves.

I’d just leave it. She’ll forget it soon enough, and if you go out again just be upfront that you’re watching costs and want to only pay for what you have.

DisappointedD · 17/11/2025 22:37

Saz12 · 17/11/2025 22:36

Assuming you generally pay your own way rather than split the bill, shes no reason to be cross.

If the typical pattern is you split it and don't worry about the times when your share would cost more, then changing that pattern the one time she spends a small amount extra is a bit grabby.

Yes this is a fair point I’d not considered.

Saz12 · 17/11/2025 22:36

Assuming you generally pay your own way rather than split the bill, shes no reason to be cross.

If the typical pattern is you split it and don't worry about the times when your share would cost more, then changing that pattern the one time she spends a small amount extra is a bit grabby.

DisappointedD · 17/11/2025 22:35

It seems an extreme reaction, are you sure there isn’t more to it? Generally I couldn’t be bothered to not split a bill over a couple of pounds but would equally understand if a friend was really skint and needed to just lay their own.

JudgeBread · 17/11/2025 22:35

She's being a brat, fancy not talking to you because you wanted to only foot your own bill. I'm all for going Dutch and letting a few quid here and there slide as long as there's equal balance in who is "overpaying", but I'd never expect a friend (or anyone really) to put themselves out financially for my gain.

TomatoSandwiches · 17/11/2025 22:35

She sounds like a child not speaking to you.

Bungle2168 · 17/11/2025 22:35

Of course it is not unreasonable to pay individually!

I am surprised you would ask.

Your friend isn’t. Spend your time with people who like you and who are not looking for a “free lunch”.

TidyDancer · 17/11/2025 22:32

If you had already said you couldn’t afford it then she’s being a shitty friend for not understanding. Is she definitely not talking to you because of this? What an excessive reaction if so!

maybein2022 · 17/11/2025 22:32

How much £ are we talking? I usually split the bill even if I’ve had less, assuming it’s not a huge difference. But if you’re really struggling I can see why every pound counts. She is BU to not be talking to you weeks later though!

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