Not going halves with friend on lunch

Wow, she's a piece of work. I bet if you looked back at the friendship overall, there will have been indications of her petty and selfish nature. Drop her. You don't need people like that in your life.

And I know you've already replied, but I'd have replied with:

"In my view, it's a tad dramatic to be "mad at me", for not subsidising your meal when you know I'm already into an overdraft at the minute. Sure, it was a few quid, but I'm literally really struggling financially right now. I wasn't being petty whatsoever, your silent treatment and madness at me is the only pettiness going on here."

You had NOTHING to apologise for @Rachaelf37

She deserved no apology, you did nothing wrong. She's a horrible friend, treating you in this sulky, "mad at you" manner, when you are overdrawn!!

Honestly, Rachael, you can do better than this person who is the petty one! Her lack of understanding of your current financial predicament says more about her than it does you. And now you've learned your lesson not to get yourself further into overdraft for the likes of her.

He had the “idea” but did it ever come to fruition. It’s not really fair on a business or supporting one. But each to their own.

No worries!

I think I would reply with

"So let me get this straight.....you havent spoken to me for TWO WEEKS over this and you think I am being petty? Have a look at yourself".

Is she 13? She's so childish and petty to hold a grudge about this. Just ignore her. Why would you want to be friends with someone like this.

I do think that you made a mistake in agreeing to have lunch at a restaurant when you are over draft though. That wasn't sensible or necessary. You could still have met her at home for lunch or had a coffee and catch up in a cafe if you really didn't want to meet at home for some reason.

And she’s calling you petty ! She’s a right one .

I don’t get the upset at all. I’m quite happy either splitting the bill or each of us paying for what we ate. IMO, your friend is the one being petty, OP, by making such a big fuss about it.

OP doesn’t have £3.50 or £7 because she’s overdrawn. It’s all being paid for with debt. What friend wants their mate to get into debt to pay for their food?

I think she’s been massively unreasonable. If you’d just been paid and had a grand in your bank account it might have been different but you were in your overdraft. You went further overdrawn to go out with her and she’s sulking about paying the right amount for her own food. If anything you should be the one pissed off that your friend has more money, benefitted from your discount and still expected you to subsidise her when she knew you were trying to not spend much! Cheeky bloody fucker, she is. Let her sulk.

She is the petty one here giving you the silent treatment , pathetic.

I would never, ever expect a friend who was struggling for money to subsidise me in any way whatsoever

I suspect if you look at the T&C of the discount (blue light?) that it can only be used on one bill, so if you were paying seperately you shouldnt have used it on her share. So I wonder what the difference would be if you hadnt offered her the discount.

You have the right to pay seperately, that she is getting so arsey over it confirms what I thought before, that she is mad she didnt get enough free stuff from you.

Fuck her, you can do better.

£7 difference so £3.50? I would have just split the bill

Yet she was more than happy to benefit from your discount?

Next time OP make sure you order more expensive stuff than her & say you're happy to go halves..... I expect she'll change her tune then

This has only highlighted what your friend is like - it was going to come out eventually and it just so happened that this was the catalyst. How idiotic of her to risk a friendship over you simply stating need

I don’t ask, it’s just the norm among me and my friends. Sometimes I’m the one paying a couple of pounds extra, sometimes it’s my friend. It just changes I don’t count if I’m overall £2.70 down

Why would you assume they left a tip? I don't usually

That would be perfect for my Mum @BatshitOutofHell . She finds bigger (normal) portions off-putting and always asks for small ones but often the standard meal comes out - she asks for a plate and scrapes half of it off. Genuinely puts her off her meal.

Sorry. I don't get this @careerChange24. Why shouldn't someone order a starter as a main meal if that's what they fancy? They might prefer the starter options to the mains. I remember a chef who had the idea of opening a restaurant that was just starters and desserts. I don't know if he ever got it off the ground. I think it was Anthony Worral Thompson.

She is now not talking to me, weeks later. Was I being unreasonable? She is being petty and childish. And she is a CF expecting to go halves when her food was more

The bank allow her to go overdrawn, though, and it's up to her how she spends and budgets to repay it. The bank don't only allow her to use it for pre-approved purchases that they deem essential or worthy.

Those of us with mortgages are effectively tens or hundreds of thousands overdrawn until we've paid them off - does that mean that we should never buy ourselves a coffee or go out for a meal?

On the other hand, it's always wise to be careful with your money - so spending a few quid on a nice not-too-fancy meal out for a treat might be a perfectly reasonable decision; but offering somebody else in a similar/better financial position some money to subsidise their treat is probably not a great idea.

A friendship which collapses because you didn’t subsidise her lunch, beyond use of your discount card, isn’t worth having.