An inheritance one

My Mum's parents left everything to their son, I'm not sure if that's because he was unmarried and the rest of the siblings were, or if it was the dated idea that only males should inherit. I have a friend who's grandmother was very wealthy and paid off the mortgages of all her grandchildren in her will! I don't think Tom should have expected an inheritance from grandparents, his parents have the option to pass some money down to him if they wanted to.

I think Tom's parents are being shitty not to help him out a bit if he's in poor health and they're comfortably off. I don't understand why anyone would want to watch their kids struggle with their health if they could do something to lighten the load.

Bit much? Most of us with living parents who own a house and with whom we have a loving relationship will get something when they die, it's just a fact. Often, grandparents pass a chunk directly to grandchildren. It isn't greedy or graspy of whatever to be aware of this and to expect it to happen!

My parents are all very much with us, but unless they have to pay protracted care fees when they die I will get an inheritance, along with my siblings.

Could MN please chill tf out about this entirely normal, everyday phenomenon. My son will get every penny I have when I die and he expects it, why on earth shouldn't he.

I know of some grandparents who have discussed their wills with their children.
In cases where the children are long term financially stable, the grandparents have left a large portion of their estates to their grandchildren so IHT is only paid once on the money whereas if the GPs money goes to their DCs whose estates then passed onto their DCs - the initial DGCs - IHT is paid twice.
Obviously if the DC aren’t long term financially stable, they inherit from their parents & token amounts to the grandchildren.
I have done this with my will. I have no spouse or siblings however I do have cousins who will be next of kin so any monies remaining in my estate goes their children - the next generation down - so IHT will only be paid once on the money.

Tom is a brat

He’s suffering with chronic pain, working his arse off, wealthy parents, no help.

His parents are the problem, not the inheritance or lack of.

My GP didn't have anything to leave, and my parents barely a penny.

I think it is ok for Tom to feel disappointed given that he is currently struggling. It sounds like he was feeling down and shared those thoughts with a friend while processing his thoughts. I think it all depends on how Tom is handling it. If he was demanding money or being an arse that is different. If he was just having a down moment when things seemed hopeless and that his health will never improve then to call him greedy or a CF seems a bit harsh.

I think it is far more common for grandparents to leave it just to their children. I don’t think that there is a right or wrong.

However lots of grandchildren provide care for their grandparents which can also impact on things like career progression and earning potential and loss of leisure time. I know that is not why we care for our loved ones but it is part of the discussion.

Why don't they help him? Are they estranged?

My GP left everything to their children, ie my parents. My parents have helped both me and my brother out with various things like home renovations, because they can afford to, and I’m sure my grandparents would have trusted my parents to do that.

My parents’ wills currently leave everything to me and my brother, but they are considering changing them to leave some money straight to grandchildren. I think their lawyer said something along the lines of “how would you feel if your child pre-deceased their spouse and your money ultimately goes to your DIL’s or SIL’s second husband/wife and children, rather than your grandchildren?”

@Spicyspice Tom's a CF and definitely unreasonable. It was entirely his GP's decision who they left their estates to - they could have left everything they owned to Battersea Dog's Home if they chose to. I hate Tom's type of entitlement - who the hell does he think he is? He is owed nothing. If he's lucky, he may inherit from his parents, but if he was my son and I found out what an entitled dick he is, I'd disinherit him now.

Tom is a greedy git!

A very similar thread ongoing here…www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5339615-grandparents-leaving-money-to-grandchildren?page=1

my mum's parents left a decent sized estate to her and she did a deed of variation on the will to pass 10% directly to each grandchild. but she didn't have to do that and it would have been very cheeky of us (the grandchildren) to expect it.

That was lovely of your dad and brother

I got nothing from my grandparents as they had nothing to leave. Born in the early 1900s few people had property or assets

Remaining DGP had already signed over 50% of the house many years before to DC. Then left 10% of the house each to two DGC and remaining 30% to DC. Anything other than property left solely to DC.

My Nan had been an unskilled worker and had saved £2,500 at the time of her death. Her will stipulated £1000 to my dad and uncle each and the remaining £500 split between the 3 grandchildren. My uncle and dad just decided to split the amount 5 ways so we all got £500 each . I bought a ring with my share and 40 years later still look at that ring ( I wear it all the time) and instantly I think of my nan.

There were no assets or money for my grandparents to pass on.

Currently my parents will pass on everything to the other, if one dies.
They say the surviving parent will share their money equally between my siblings and me but I am going to assume nothing. That said, they know we all are sensible with money and will ensure our children (their grandchildren) have a good quality of life, experiences etc so there is no need for them to skip a generation with the inheritance per se.

My wealthy grandparents on DM side left her everything (as they could/should) she blew the lot - mainly on holidays
I will be lucky to get 10k as she had no property
I’m actually ok with it - I am leaving all my assets that I haven’t spent beforehand to DC - they can look after their own DC

It's clearly down to his grandparents and parents what happens with their money; however, sometimes it's wise to plan depending on circumstances, otherwise it ends up going to the taxman.

My grandparents lived in rented social housing and had no significant cash or assets to leave but I did get a small cash amount from both.

My mum died intestate and everything she had went to my step dad, who then left most of it to his nieces and new partner plus a small cash gift to my DS.

While I know my in laws have left the majority of their estate to DH and his siblings I’m fairly certain they’ve also left chunks directly to all the GC.

So no, I don’t think it’s unusual for grandparents to leave anything to their GC but if Toms grandparents felt strongly enough that he should have anything they would have named him in the will.

No I didn’t, that said only one set of grandparents had any money (others didn’t own a house, few thousand in total assets) others split everything 50/50 with 2 dc, one being my dad though my nanna had given all 5 grandchildren £500 in a bank account a few years before she died

My parents split their estate 50% to their children & 50% to the grand children. No expectations though, it was up to them.

My grandparents on both sides left everything equally to their children (my parents and their siblings). My parents’ will leaves everything equally to me and my siblings. That’s how I think it should be unless there’s a valid reason to miss someone out. I’d be pretty gutted if my parents overlooked me in favour of their grandchildren.