To be really annoyed with nursery over this

Well I would have taken my child out of a nursery with the view that’s it’s cruel to wake a sleeping child. We had a regular routine for both of my children which we never broke (even if it meant not going out). Our nursery worked in partnership with us. They slept like clockwork which meant we did too!

Exact same. And I work in one. With parents, not against them.

Two days a week as well, not full time. At least if full time there could be an argument by them for really not coping.

sounds like it’s not the right setting for you or child OP.

Did she fall asleep late on this occasion? There are a lot of studies that say it can be detrimental to a child to be woken and a lot of nurseries look at what is best for the child they are caring for rather than the family dynamics. Also, waking children not ready to be woken can involve a lot of crying and a need for one to one for a while. Some children wake up happier than others and if she is one that hates being woken it may be why they let her sleep longer.

Most nurseries will wake listen to parental caps but it isn’t always easy to wake a child either. It is also very difficult in the in between stage where one day they want a long nap, the next they can’t settle and asleep.

I thought our previous nursery did wake children up, but when we moved to a childminder she told us it was against Ofsted recommendation. She did anyway but asked us not to mention it if asked.

I assume they have a specific room for naps @notaminorthing ?

Children nap in the reading corner in our new nursery, our 2yo stopped her naps as soon as she started there. It's brilliant 😁

Sounds like it’s a good time to knock the nursery nap on the head.
Just ask them not to put her in the sleep room. Yes she will be tired for a couple of days but if she’s in the other room playing then it should be easy enough to distract her.

What’s she like when woken up early from a nap? One of my DC is absolutely impossible if artificially woken from sleep. Clings, cries, whines and takes a good hour to return to any sort of normal. I wouldn’t blame a childcare provider for not wanting to deal with them in that state.

It's a difficult one for childcare providers because Ofsted will pull them up for waking children or preventing them from napping.

Ofsted would say that the child's right to rest trumps parents' requests so nurseries find themselves caught in the middle.

Don’t really understand these shitty replies. Our nursery asks what time is the latest we’d like him to nap until and we’ve said 3pm (in fact we just reduced from 3.30pm) so they wake him at 3pm.

Complain to the manager. The nurseries I have worked at have been very strict that all children must be up by 2.

I’m quite surprised they are letting her sleep.

I would say to them that she is missing out on key nursery activities and may miss out on reaching her next steps as they are keeping her asleep.

Mention other nurseries and what they do and ask them if they are using extended sleep times to avoid looking after the children.

I think under EYFS guidance the recommendation is that they don't wake a sleeping child. They can make noise, call their name, turn a light on, remove a blanket or something but they aren't supposed to physically wake a child up.

I suppose some nurseries may stick to this guidance more firmly than others though.

Definitely worth another chat with them to see where their lines are and even if they refuse to physically wake her, they may be willing to push it a bit harder.

You’re not ridiculous, my 2 year old is exactly the same, it’s a nightmare! Although I find giving her her own “homework” slightly helps…

Do they have a routine at nursery? Eg ours in the baby room follow the baby’s cues, but when they go to the toddler room nap time is 12.30-2 and they all get woken up at 2. I’d just reiterate you’d like them to wake her at 2 and explain that it really messes the evening routine up when she sleeps too late.

My not long turned 2 year old is similar - no naps at home but loved a nap at nursery which went on 12-3pm if they let her. It then messed the whole evening up. I found putting a request on the family app we have that any nap is to be capped to 1pm, regardless of how long she’s had, stopped the ‘miscommunication’. She’s now still in a great mood when picked up from nursery & has a snack before bath and bed 6/6.30pm. It works for us as we’ve an 11 year old as well who still needs 121 time with us without her little sister.

Oh and I have to arrive 45 min early for school in the morning to do spellings, reading and homework in the car. My DD simply switches off after a day.at school......she is year 5......never underestimate the power of sleep, it won't be forever.

I completely get your frustration but a few years ago a number of nurseries were given inadequate ratings by ofsted for waking sleeping children - it was deemed they were putting parents wishes above a child’s needs. They said that if a child was sleeping it meant they needed to sleep - and this is a basic biological need. Not many people agree with this because we know the impact on the child’s routines, but nurseries changed their policies to protect themselves.

Not every child's evening sleep is impacted by a late nap. Mine still sleeps like normal as long as he's up by 4pm so it's not common sense. I don't think there's anything common sense about toddler sleep. Agents of chaos yhe little things.

I thought the EYFS guidance was that they weren't allowed to wake a sleeping child?

Toddlers can be occupied for 5 mins, cbeebies exists. I had a hell toddler, climbed everywhere and into everything. Still managed to get homework done.

I would complain, sounds like one of the nursery workers got lazy if they are otherwise ok. 3.30 is way too late indeed.

But you need to work on doing things with your 2 year old around. It's ridiculuous to put everything on hold like that. And a 6.30 bedtime is unrealistic. You can't expect them to keep your toddler tired so you can put them to bed so incredibly early.

Good for you. Sleep bred sleep for mine as opposed to the regular night terrors from a nursery 3 months before lockdown happened (then i could wfh with her) that wouldn't let her nap. We've since been diagnosed adhd so may explain it. I was NEVER cruel to my child for letting her nap. My one couldn't tolerate being overtired

I completely understand why you are so annoyed by this. Its really annoying. You've asked them to support you with something, they're being crap and not doing it and it's making your evenings more difficult. For me it wouldn't even be about the homework, it would be about the fact that I'd have a toddler up until half 9. You need some time to relax in the evening for your own health and sanity.

I work in daycare and agree with you, OP - they should have woken your child at the requested time. Were there substitute staff present who didn't know about your request? Have also been on the other side of the fence, as the parent of the child who napped at daycare and is now bouncing off the walls at 11 pm. It is brutal!

To be fair, some toddlers are just more active than others. I know my 2 year old would make it very hard for me to do homework with another child in this scenario

Yup mine were like this. A five-minute car nap at lunch time was enough to make bedtime a fraught disaster.