To be really annoyed with nursery over this

Do you have any support in the house @notaminorthing

Is it every evening she's at nursery? Does she get up earlier the days she attends than when she doesn't? It seems as if she needs more sleep during the day. Can you amend the routine at all?

Its annoying and I would say it to the nursery again but sometimes these things happen and you have to work around them. In those circumstances I would have sent a note into school explaining that it wasn't possible to do the homework, and I would snuggle up on the sofa with both dc in front of the tv until bed time.

You should probably move nurseries.

Can't you see that the mode of MN is to cut and paste a child into the parents' routine, not to do what is best for the child?
P.S. I completely agree with you.

Just because you ‘request it as a parent’ doesn’t mean that the nursery are going to be able to satisfy every demand you make, however reasonable you feel it is. Waking a sleeping child may mean that a staff member is occupied for a good while, especially if the child is distressed being woken. They will also have a number of other children to look after, whose parents are making similar demands.

Even my 7 year old wont let me do homework with her older sibling without interrupting and causing a scene! Jealousy unfortunately 🤨

This seems to have been blown all out of proportion. Things don't always go to plan/ routine, that's Parenthood for you.

Have you definitely been sent all their up to date policies? It should be in their safer sleep policy. But if it was a policy of the nursery they probably wouldn’t be saying yes to your face. I know quite a few childminders who flat out won’t wake a sleeping child, but others who will. So I wonder if the person getting the message is a different person to the one supervising naps and they have different ways of doing things (but they shouldn’t really be making their own rules in a nursery)

I find a lot of the responses really harsh. We are on ‘Mumsnet’ for goodness sake, juggling daily life with multiple children is hard! And sometimes made harder by external factors, such as not being listened to or taken seriously by childcare providers. Yes, children may need a nap whilst at nursery but seriously, 4.5 hours?! The average child would not need a nap that long, unless they were unwell and in that case, they should not be in childcare.
There is a lot of misrepresentation regarding nursery settings and sleep. Settings were graded inadequate for not following safer sleep practice.
The Department for Education stated that early years providers must follow safer sleep practice (SIDS guidance) and checking breathing and temperature. Failure to do so could lead to enforcement via Ofsted.
However, that doesn’t equate to a rule that says “never wake a child.” Rather, it emphasises safe sleep practices.
The EYFS 2025 statutory framework requires providers to keep children safe and well and signposts safer sleep advice (NHS / Lullaby Trust) and the need to supervise/check sleeping children, but it does not include an explicit prohibition on waking children.
I had similar at my nursery with my eldest son, where I was informed that they couldn’t wake him from a nap. He is very low sleep need and a long nap would disrupt not only that evenings sleep, but subsequent evenings. So I told them he was not able to have a nap and I had a much happier, regulated child. He was not having a nap at home and didn’t need one at nursery. They tried to do the same with my youngest, but interestingly they said that they would try and wake him up. They then let him sleep from 11 until 3.45. So he ended up going no nap too.
My youngest is now at a new nursery whose policy is ‘we work around the parents as you are the ones who have to put your children to bed and try to still adhere to some routine. We will work around home nap schedules and if we can’t wake a child, we will contact you to discuss what to do. OP, I would have a face to face conversation with the room leader and failing that the manager and explain in detail what happens when the nap is that long and ask why your requests were ignored and what can they do to support you going forward.
Lets face it, nursery staff are paid pittance despite the extortionate fees, part of me doesn’t blame them for allowing children to sleep for a long time to help with staff scheduling and lunch and rest breaks. But when it severely impacts my family life and my children’s wellbeing, that is where my empathy ends! Good luck OP

I think it’s a completely reasonable suggestion.

My nursery did this too so I just said no more naps! Luckily my DD was ready to cut them out.

I feel for you OP. I used to look after kids . If for some reason one girl didn't get an hour in the morning she would want to have a long afternoon nap. But I knew it would impact on her night time routine at home . No one is suggesting that it's right to abruptly wake up a sleeping child but I did open the door, made normal noise , gently called her name. It's unfair to the parent .

Why 6 hours wake window? My 3+ year old slept at nursery today until 2.30pm and went down lights out at 7.00pm. When he falls asleep is up to him but he lays there until he does.

I’ve worked at nurseries with a variety of policies, some wouldn’t wake a child, some would but only after a length of time and one had a set time that no child was allowed to be asleep after.

Children have the right to rest, sure, but waking them at the 2 hour mark rather than 3 hours is not depriving them of the right to rest. That’s just staff who can’t be arsed.

Ive worked in 3 different nurseries and none would wake a sleeping child. Children have the right to rest(and play) so we don’t wake a child who is sleeping.

good luck speaking to nursery because I’m sure they will say the exact same.