To be really annoyed with nursery over this

I've always been the parent who lets them sleep. They obviously need it. If they go to bed later then so be it. If she's stopping you doing things with your other child, parent her. Give her something to do and let her know that her behaviour is not acceptable.

So I’m a childminder and in our safeguarding and health & safety we are meant to let a child sleep if they are tired, and not wake them . Now, I think this is a bit silly as if the child sleeps too late they don’t sleep well as well at night and therefore are tired the next day. If a child needs a nap, and some will just fall asleep anywhere, but mum doesn’t want them to have one, I will only let them sleep for 20minutes, otherwise they go into a deep sleep and are impossible to wake. I also don’t let them nap after a certain in time in the afternoon. I usually discuss this time with the parent.

This tool loves saying parent them - they did it to one of my threads!

I was parenting and you are - I bet they don’t even have any children!

They clearly have unrealistic expectations of the attention span of a 2 year old or how long phonics and reading can take.

I understand how you feel despite you giving the impression of being entitled. I'm familiar with this situation because I was an early childhood teacher for 30 years. In the schools that I worked in our nap time was from 12:30-2:30. Most of the children would eventually fall asleep and if they didn't t they could quietly look at books on their mat. The problem we have with waking different children at different times is that too many children are awake and there isn't enough staff to be able to take them to another area so they don't wake everyone. Also in most care centers, there is reduced staff at nap time so teachers can have their breaks. If your school can't accommodate your request hopefully you can adapt since your child is only there 2 days a week.

I can't believe the ridiculous comments on this post. Ive worked in private nursery's for 26 year's. If a parent specifies how long a child can sleep for we wake them up, once that time is up. In the nursery i work in currently, we have a dedicated sleep room where all children who sleep go after lunch (11.30) that is staffed at all times and the latest children can sleep until is 1.30 pm as we have routine also that we need to adhere to. We do not do this job for the minimum wage we are paid, believe me. We do it because we care. I think people need to ask where this rule about not being allowed to wake children up comes from, because I have never heard it.

I do remember on occasion picking her up at lunchtime and having her asleep at home for a reasonable amount of time, just so she'd sleep at night

I had this situation

They wouldn't wake the child.

Mega annoying.

And we live somewhere where kids don't start school till aged 5, so DD was 5 and a half and still sleeping for over 3 hours at lunchtime!!?

So sensible!

I was just thinking nurseries can’t provide a personal service for every child, we don’t know if they let the child sleep on so they could help/see to the needs of another.

its a bit annoying for the OP but ultimately your child is just one of the many they are looking after.

Op, your babe could also be more tired at nursery than at home.
more wired so go to bed later and more tired so sleep more.

All should really kind round itself and by itself really! Don’t send the email except if you want to leave this nursery.

Agreed. None of the other stuff matters. They agreed. They didn’t do it.

What on earth are you on about??

brainwashed? Nobody forces you to send children to nursery!! Why are you making it out to be such a horrendous thing.

lots of parents work and need childcare. It’s f*cking hard. To have their sleep disrupted as well when nursery agreed to a plan IS NOT the mums fault.

the child’s needs are to have a good sleep. The nursery are disrupting this.

are you against nurseries? Mums? Or mums who send kids to nurseries.

edited to say this is in response to TJk86

When I got brainwashed into sending my child to nursery for a short stint, I was happy when they had a long sleep and therefore escaped for a few hours the sensory hell that is nursery for babies and young toddlers. Some parents just want them straight to bed in the evening and don’t think about the poor child’s needs which is sad and selfish.

First of all it’s not just 30 second to wake a child. They would need to ensure that they either fall asleep exactly when they need them to so that they are ready to wake up at the time the parents demanded or it’s a case of waking up and dealing with a tired, grumpy 2 year old upon waking them up from a short nap. Have a read of the nursery threads. You’ll find all sorts of parents expectations and demand regarding sleep, meals (eg I want my child’s beans to be served on the side not on toast)- it all adds up and staff can’t provide that sort of individualised care. It’s like comparing economy vs first class on a plane, you’ll get personalised meals and service in first and choice of 2 meals (if you’re lucky) and cattle-like treatment in economy.

Of course you want some quite time without a 2 yo around to do homework and reading with your reception aged child. That is obviously a good idea and ignore those saying “it’s ridiculous”.

YANBU

I remember like yesterday what a bugbear this was with nurseries! They seem quite content to let DC sleep the day away, and then be full of beans at bedtime, when you’re absolutely knackered after your full working day. Not good for the DC either.

I always tried to sleep limit mine but it would often get forgotten. They just weren’t “sleep begets sleep”
type children - they were “will not sleep til incredibly late if they haven’t been up for a good long stretch of afternoon, doing actually stimulating activities” type children.

No one is expecting a whole day of personalised care though are they? The nursery either needs to be upfront and say it’s not their policy to wake children or take 30 seconds to wake the child (who should be being watched anyway). A child in school wouldn’t get one-on-one attention all day but should get help if they ask a question.

I mean… yes… there won’t be any personalised learning with 30 kids in a classroom. It’s definitely not fancy. If you pay £500 you should expect £500 worth level of care (i.e. basic).

I mean one to one care whether that be the parent, grandparent or nanny. When nursery was first “invented” it was designed for the poorest in the society who couldn’t afford a personalised care. Just because a lot of people use it now, it doesn’t mean it’s better quality these days. With multiple
children with different needs it one room, there are limits in what is possible. Parents need to be realistic about that. OP said herself that she might just have to remove her child from the nursery and no one is stopping her from doing that.

So as I’m only paying £500 a month I have no right to make any reasonable requests about how my child is cared for? By that logic, every child in state school should just be given a text book and told to get on with it - if you want more than a “supercuts” education, just go to Eton!

Its just nonsense that they can’t monitor the children, my little boy usually sleeps from 12.30-2 (they wake him) and they called me today at 10am to say he’s fallen asleep having a cuddle with his key worker and to ask if I was ok with that.

What on earth are you talking about?
How you define more fancy? Norland Nanny?
There are different options for childcare - nursery, childminder, nanny, and most people choose the one that suits the child, parents and life.

I would says nursery is a bit like the Supercuts equivalent of hairdressers in childcare terms. You get the bare minimum, group care. If you want something more fancy, you don’t send them to nursery (which is heavily subsidised these days btw so the argument “I pay a lot for it” is rather weak).

T&cs are one thing but babies and toddlers are not robots. They won’t always be able to put her down for a nap at the exact same time, not when there is a room full of other kids to look after. Most mothers on MN can’t cope with 2 kids at the same time which is why they still send the eldest to nursery when they have a new baby. I would love to see some of you trying to manage multiple kids’ naps in one noisy room. It’s nursery, not personalised care. If you want that, you need to do it yourself or pay a nanny which will cost you considerably more than nursery for a reason.

This wouldn’t apply to any other job though would it? If you were paying for any other service whether it was a haircut or a house renovation and it wasn’t what you asked for, people on here wouldn’t be saying “do it yourself if you don’t like it”. A lot of people are just using this thread as an excuse to bash working mums. If the nursery has a policy that they don’t wake children then fine, it’s in the T&Cs. If the nursery has been asked to wake the child, they’ve agreed and then not done it then they aren’t providing the service that’s being paid for.