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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really annoyed with nursery over this

282 replies

notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 18:38

My two year old has mostly phased her nap out at home but still naps at nursery. This does mean a later bedtime but as long as she’s awake by 2. I’ve specifically asked before if she can be woken by 2.

However they keep not doing it and today she slept from 115 to twenty past three. It’s going to be around half nine by the time I get her down tonight. I have a reception aged child who I won’t be able to do homework or reading or anything with and even he is going to end up in bed later than ideal.

I have just stopped myself sending a really stroppy email and I’m going to ring in tomorrow but am I really being unreasonable in feeling a bit like I’ve lost trust? I’ve specifically asked and surely common sense should dictate that’s far too late a nap!

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 17/11/2025 18:55

notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 18:52

they can’t of course they can. I completely get that they can’t have a personalised programme but she has a totally normal routine for her age - they are the ones messing it up!

They're messing her routine up by not waking her up?

If she's sleeping that long they may feel that she needs it. Some settings hold the view that it's cruel to wake a sleeping child. I would hope it's nothing to do with sleeping children being "easier" - someone still has to supervise and record sleep checks etc.

Why is she still napping there if she doesn't at home?

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 18:52

they can’t of course they can. I completely get that they can’t have a personalised programme but she has a totally normal routine for her age - they are the ones messing it up!

OP posts:
Fitzcarraldo353 · 17/11/2025 18:47

Yeah I think this is just nurseries. We parents (especially of PFBs) start off asking them to do X and y parts of their routine, and they say yes sometimes, but in reality they can't and won't adhere to personal timetables of every child.

I found my DCs went down for naps much later at nursery than I put them down at home, usually because lunch takes longer, and then they slept later.

Nap phase doesn't last long though so you'll probably just have to deal with it.

DarkPassenger1 · 17/11/2025 18:46

This might not be the nursery for you tbh. Ours was great and followed the home nap schedule in the baby room, and then they had one nap time in the day for toddlers between 12-2. I would be incandescent if I asked them to specifically not give my child a nap past a certain time and they ignored it and did it anyway. Unfortunately some nurseries want the kids asleep as much as possible because it's much easier to manage a sleeping child.

Go in, in person, and ask to speak to the room leader and reiterate your request. How they respond will tell you what you need to know about whether you can continue there.

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 18:45

Not as far as I know, and my eldest attended as well so I’m pretty confident I would know.

I hate making a fuss but honestly the impact on this evening is going to be awful.

OP posts:
mixedcereal · 17/11/2025 18:43

Does nursery have a policy on this? I have a friend who was a nursery worker and they had a policy to not wake a sleeping child.

not all children don’t sleep in the evening after a long nap so maybe this is part of it as well!

doesn’t stop it being incredibly annoying for you though!!

headphonesinrice · 17/11/2025 18:40

Unfortunately this is a common problem. A sleeping child is an easy child. Definitely let them know again but it’s one of those things that happens a lot.

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