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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really annoyed with nursery over this

282 replies

notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 18:38

My two year old has mostly phased her nap out at home but still naps at nursery. This does mean a later bedtime but as long as she’s awake by 2. I’ve specifically asked before if she can be woken by 2.

However they keep not doing it and today she slept from 115 to twenty past three. It’s going to be around half nine by the time I get her down tonight. I have a reception aged child who I won’t be able to do homework or reading or anything with and even he is going to end up in bed later than ideal.

I have just stopped myself sending a really stroppy email and I’m going to ring in tomorrow but am I really being unreasonable in feeling a bit like I’ve lost trust? I’ve specifically asked and surely common sense should dictate that’s far too late a nap!

OP posts:
Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:27

Ymamiss · 17/11/2025 19:23

Does your older child get homework every night? Would it be an idea to have a chat with the teacher about your lack of time with 2 yo up late those two nights? I'm sure they'd be understanding (I'm a teacher and I would be). Also as a mum of 3 under 10 I completely get it - you feel guilty for not spending quality time reading etc because the little one demands your attention. I've had to involve my very lively 3 year old in the reading - he "reads" the book first then we both listen to my 6 yr old.

It’s just reading and phonics practice. I get very, very little time with just DS, and it is pretty much limited to when DD is in bed, so it’s disappointing for us both if this can’t happen.

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 17/11/2025 19:27

notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:25

Do you realise how rude you sound?

My older child attended the same nursery from 11 months until he left this summer, so this is over four years I’ve had a child attend.

I have made polite requests but I have never actually complained. I have given the staff gifts, made donations and said thank you. I am entitled to be annoyed over something like this, when I’ve already made the request. It’s not like it’s twenty past two or something I could ignore - it’s nearly an hour and a half after I’ve said for her to be woken by. So yes, uncharacteristically I have an ‘attitude.’ Although you might be interested to know one of the reasons I’m sounding off here is to stop myself sending a very strongly worded email.

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Pot and kettle come to mind here.

I'm not the one trying to get the nursery staff onside here though, am I?

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:26

angelikacpickles · 17/11/2025 19:23

She's not asking them to engage with anything outside of nursery hours - she's asking them to wake her child at 2pm which they are not doing because it suits them to have her asleep.

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Quite. Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:26

Notashamed13 · 17/11/2025 19:23

She obviously needs the sleep......id never have poked the hornet when mine was small.

She does, just be better if she got it at night really, wouldn’t it?

OP posts:
Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Do you realise how rude you sound?

My older child attended the same nursery from 11 months until he left this summer, so this is over four years I’ve had a child attend.

I have made polite requests but I have never actually complained. I have given the staff gifts, made donations and said thank you. I am entitled to be annoyed over something like this, when I’ve already made the request. It’s not like it’s twenty past two or something I could ignore - it’s nearly an hour and a half after I’ve said for her to be woken by. So yes, uncharacteristically I have an ‘attitude.’ Although you might be interested to know one of the reasons I’m sounding off here is to stop myself sending a very strongly worded email.

OP posts:
Notashamed13 · 17/11/2025 19:23

She obviously needs the sleep......id never have poked the hornet when mine was small.

angelikacpickles · 17/11/2025 19:23

TheKeatingFive · 17/11/2025 19:20

No it isn't. They are paid to look after one of your children in a certain window of time. They do not have to engage with anything or anyone outside of those hours.

Changing habits is hard. It won't always go perfectly. You need to work with them sensitively to get what you want.

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She's not asking them to engage with anything outside of nursery hours - she's asking them to wake her child at 2pm which they are not doing because it suits them to have her asleep.

Ymamiss · 17/11/2025 19:23

Does your older child get homework every night? Would it be an idea to have a chat with the teacher about your lack of time with 2 yo up late those two nights? I'm sure they'd be understanding (I'm a teacher and I would be). Also as a mum of 3 under 10 I completely get it - you feel guilty for not spending quality time reading etc because the little one demands your attention. I've had to involve my very lively 3 year old in the reading - he "reads" the book first then we both listen to my 6 yr old.

TheKeatingFive · 17/11/2025 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:22

They are paid to care for my child. There is nothing in their policies about not waking a sleeping child and I have made an exploit request as a parent which is being ignored. I’m not going to bicker about it. I’m not expecting them to give two shits why I want her woken at 2, I just expect them to do it.

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 17/11/2025 19:20

notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:17

Actually, it is. I’ve requested it as a parent, it doesn’t matter what my reasons are as long as the request is reasonable. The point is, it’s having a detrimental impact on us as a family.

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No it isn't. They are paid to look after one of your children in a certain window of time. They do not have to engage with anything or anyone outside of those hours.

Changing habits is hard. It won't always go perfectly. You need to work with them sensitively to get what you want.

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:17

TheKeatingFive · 17/11/2025 19:16

In all fairness, the homework schedule of you other child is not nursery's concern.

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Actually, it is. I’ve requested it as a parent, it doesn’t matter what my reasons are as long as the request is reasonable. The point is, it’s having a detrimental impact on us as a family.

OP posts:
Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:17

Hercisback1 · 17/11/2025 19:15

Yanbu re wake time in nursery.
Yabu not being able to do homework with a 2yo around is ridiculous.

Well, I’m ridiculous then. She snatches the book, body slams on top of both of us, grabs paper and throws it sound and brings endless toys to us. So - I’ll stay ridiculous!

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 17/11/2025 19:16

notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:13

Normally, on days when DD doesn’t nap (which is every day really bar nursery) she’s in bed by half six which gives me a good hour with just DS. Not sure where the ‘surely’ is coming from, as there’s nothing set in stone to my knowledge about when reading etc should be done, it’s just according to what suits your family.

She only attends twice a week and one of those days is Friday so doesn’t matter if he’s in bed a bit later. Just not this late!

What’s for sure is that he’s going to be ready for bed before she is so that gives me no time with just him.

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In all fairness, the homework schedule of you other child is not nursery's concern.

Hercisback1 · 17/11/2025 19:15

Yanbu re wake time in nursery.
Yabu not being able to do homework with a 2yo around is ridiculous.

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:13

TheKeatingFive · 17/11/2025 19:09

Surely your reception aged child needs homework/reading time earlier in the day anyway. Even 7 would have been way too late for mine to do homework

Normally, on days when DD doesn’t nap (which is every day really bar nursery) she’s in bed by half six which gives me a good hour with just DS. Not sure where the ‘surely’ is coming from, as there’s nothing set in stone to my knowledge about when reading etc should be done, it’s just according to what suits your family.

She only attends twice a week and one of those days is Friday so doesn’t matter if he’s in bed a bit later. Just not this late!

What’s for sure is that he’s going to be ready for bed before she is so that gives me no time with just him.

OP posts:
Sidebeforeself · 17/11/2025 19:11

Id step back from making it sound like an instruction . I’d reiterate her routine and tell them what happened as a result so they can see you are asking for a valid reason.

delightful1 · 17/11/2025 19:11

So annoying. Out nursery have a policy to not wake a sleeping child. If my LO still napped I would move somewhere that adheres to our sleep schedule. So frustrating when it completely ruins bedtime. I feel for you OP. But of course Mumsnet will think you’re being totally unreasonable!

TheKeatingFive · 17/11/2025 19:09

Surely your reception aged child needs homework/reading time earlier in the day anyway. Even 7 would have been way too late for mine to do homework

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:07

hoarahloux · 17/11/2025 19:05

Seems like you could be doing homework with your 5 year old right now.

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With a two year old climbing all over the place, I’m afraid it’s pretty much impossible. I don’t know if you were trying to be funny or if you were just being extremely pompous.

OP posts:
readingmakesmehappy · 17/11/2025 19:05

Complain every single time. Not just to the time staff but to the nursery manager.

hoarahloux · 17/11/2025 19:05

notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:02

That’s pretty much what I said @OhRight7 - so if they get her to sleep by 130 then OK 215 but twenty past three 🤦🏼‍♀️

No idea what I’m going to do this evening now!

Seems like you could be doing homework with your 5 year old right now.

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 19:02

That’s pretty much what I said @OhRight7 - so if they get her to sleep by 130 then OK 215 but twenty past three 🤦🏼‍♀️

No idea what I’m going to do this evening now!

OP posts:
OhRight7 · 17/11/2025 19:01

Speak to the head of the room. They need to follow these instructions. I had no issue with my child’s nursery phasing out the naps to the times I needed in order to help with bed times. It’s just lazy of your nursery staff to let her sleep so late. If my child fell asleep late for the nap I gave them a 15 min window to have my child awake by, so the naps never went over 15 mins past the usual time to be woken.

Original poster
notaminorthing · 17/11/2025 18:57

It is messing her routine up completely by not waking her up!

As a result she will now be in bed really late, and so will my other child. She’s mostly phased the nap out but she will sleep there at around 1. I don’t mind her having a short nap but she really can’t sleep much beyond 2 if she’s going to bed before 8.

why is she still napping there if she won’t at home just does, same as she eats cauliflower there and not at home.

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