To still be annoyed at MIL about this??

On the face of it the first one doesn’t sound that bad but as it seems like a pattern is emerging you really need to nip it in the bud now. Start by speaking up. If you didn’t want you MIL to take her you should’ve said oh you can have her in a minute it’s almost midnight and I want to share that with her.

Gifts wise… oh it’s really kind of you to offer but we had something else in mind. These situations are very difficult but you can be firm and polite. Get practicing you’ll feel a whole lot better when you do.

What a bitch. Spend Christmas and NYE how you want to from now on, fuck her.

I’m amazed at posters calling something that obviously upset the OP as a non event. We don’t get to decide that.

It’s obviously not a non event to her and that’s what’s important.

What’s a “kiss on the bells”?

Does “bells” = lips?

I’m French, sorry.

Regardless, your MIL sounds nasty… though not as nasty as my MIL who weaned my 4-month-old PFB when I left him with her with clear instructions to give him only my expressed milk.

Apparently she knew better.

MILs can be quite easily avoided, I have since found.

You are being unreasonable for holding on to this non event for a year.

YANBU to be a bit miffed or even upset by this if it meant so much to you

YABU to still be thinking about it all these months later. Move on.

Sounds like you are upset about lots of things MIL has done but this one sticks in your mind more. Now you know that this can happen, avoid seeing her at 'special' times in future.

YANBU as it’s a way for her to have control. YABU for handing your dd over and not asking for her back. You need to start speaking up.

YABU. Your MIL didn’t snatch the baby from you without your permission and probably didn’t realise how important to you it was to be holding the baby at midnight. I wouldn’t have realised either.

I would be much more annoyed about the other things you mention in your subsequent post. You need to discuss it with your DH then both tell her politely that you’re very grateful for the things she’s bought for you or the baby, but in future you’d like to be able to choose things first your home and family yourselves.Your DH's support for this is crucial.

She's a bully and you're a total doormat. Bad combination. She could have held her hands out till her arms dropped off, nobody would have taken one of my babies from me if I didn't want them to. Nobody.

This

I completely understand why this would upset you @Swindlesong. Especially having read your follow up post.

However, the responses of many on this thread shows that not everyone would consider it a big deal and maybe MiL just didn’t realise. I suspect that with NY approaching its reminded you.
Try to let it go x

I’m a MiL btw. I would never do any of those things but suspect I inadvertently and unintentionally, manage to annoy my DiL in others ways!

I get it. My MIL did things with/to my DC as babies which still upset me many years on. In my MIL’s case she really did “steal” those experiences, took my dignity, run roughshod over me. I 100% see that that quiet moment where the clock chimes and you’re holding the baby who changed your life into something new and amazing, she took it from you. Yes there already probably had been such moments (and there will be plenty more to come!), but in the way it was a significant enough moment for her to take the baby at exactly that time, so it was for you to have her at exactly that time. She wasn’t thinking of you at all. She was thinking of herself. She wanted to hold her granddaughter and have that moment with her and didn’t spare a thought for you or that she comes second to you when it comes to that child. I’m still bitter about never experiencing specific singular moments, and I won’t let that go. I mean, I don’t think of them unless prompted now, so much water has passed under that bridge, and it’s not like we don’t get on when we’re together. But no, I won’t forgive her and those episodes (just like all the other normal and good interactions) have shaped my relationship with her. Sadly for her it will never be what she wants it to be. How could to be when she plainly showed me what she thought of me?

I don't like anyone holding my baby at 2 months old tbh. I feel like a possessive animal after I've given birth. Like when my babies have been in someone else's arms and they come back smelling of their perfume, I hate it.

It doesn't benefit me or the baby for other people to hold them so I let people have a token hold but keep them to myself mostly.

I really believe that newborns are an extension of you at that age and it feels invasive for someone else to feel entitled to holding them.

She realised!

Goodness no that wouldnt bother me in the slightest, I have five children and I don't think I've ever kissed one of them at midnight, pretty sure I kiss my husband and then each of them on a whole is closest at the time basis.

Are you sentimental or is it just because your mother in law .was the person holding the baby? My advice is try not to get caught up in my babies first x y z. Likelihood is if you work you will miss lots of firsts and if you get caught up on it it will lead to lots of upset. Also if you move onto having more children you won't feel the same about the next ones first so can become an upset for them.

Relax enjoy all moments and let go of the obsession with the firsts

Bells?? Church bells? Was it Nye?

I think you’re being ridiculous. why does it matter who was holding your baby at midnight? 🤣🤣

I voted that you are being unreasonable, but then saw your second post and changed my mind. She sounds like an arsehole. To berate her son for helping with chores while you're pregnant, and treating you like the vessel for her grandchild, eugh! Argh, awful MILs are the worst, sorry! But kudos to your partner for doing the chores anyway!

Are you maybe more annoyed with yourself for not saying something at the time?

I know I’d have said “no I want to hold her”

I get it though. As someone who has had my own MIL issues. It’s not going to help your mental health continually thinking about it. You could do with trying t find a way to move on from it.

How are you in general? Any PPD or PPA? **

Yanbu. She obviously knew it could be a valuable moment for you as it was for her, hence taking your DC for it.
Sadly we don't always react quickly enough in the moment, especially when dealing with overbearing family members, especially ones we might feel we need to be polite to. You were also new to being a mum with DC at just 2 months.

What has the past year been like since then?
Sometimes I go.over things like this in my mind because I'm trying to prepare for next time - to not be caught of guard again.

I think some posters won’t see this as a control thing as they haven’t had a controlling GP. Why would MIL just take baby out of OP’s arms? Why wouldn’t she say shall I take baby so you can have New Year smooch with DH, and if OP didn’t want that then she wouldn’t take him. If you have had controlling GP you will see this as one of many things a MIL, DM could do to keep the power in their hands.

Wow it wouldn’t occur to me to kiss my baby in the new year (for one thing they’d be in bed). But if it was so important to you why not take the baby back? Theres even a count down to the moment!
If my PIL had been so generous to buy us baby furniture (I don’t think they got us anything other than a stuffed animal) and were foolish enough not to consult me first I would have said thank you but that’s not my taste and exchanged it. You are letting her take control. She has no more ‘value’ than you. Stand your ground better (and rope your partner in this).

If it meant that much as being a ‘first’ then you should have said . She didn’t ‘take’ her from you . You gave her to her.

Whatever it looked for anyone it wasn’t a nice kind gesture towards you. So have you learned from this moment and did it help you to work out a strategy for the future?