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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Scared to tell my new boyfriend I’m estranged from my family because let’s be honest, people judge.

51 replies

NoDramaJustDistance · 17/11/2025 16:26

I’ve been estranged from my family for a few years now and while I’m at peace with it, I still dread that moment when someone new asks about them, especially men I’m dating. I know people mean well but there’s always that flicker of judgement, that sense that family estrangement equals red flag or drama. It’s exhausting having to explain or justify something that took years of pain and clarity to decide.

AIBU to feel anxious about sharing that part of my life with a new partner or is it just better to be upfront and risk being misunderstood early on?

OP posts:
Dozycuntlaters · 17/11/2025 16:29

Well to be honest, if you were to start a new relationship and they judged you on this, then surely they wouldn't be someone you would want to be with anyway. I wouldn't go out of my way to mention it, but when the inevitable small talk leads to family questions all you need to say is I'm not in touch with my family. No need to go into great detail and if he asks why just say it's not something you want to talk about at this stage.

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