hi sorry this is long i just need to get it out because my heads not working right today and i feel like im messing everything up again . we went to the car boot yesterday with my sister because she said its good for finding bits for christmas and the younger two needed some clothes but i didnt have a clue what i was looking for really and i was just following her round and trying not to think about how much everything is costing at the minute . anyway my middle one is 8 next week and he keeps going on about this lego set with a car and a little garage thing he seen it on youtube and i looked it up and its like 40 something quid which i just cant do right now not when dp hours got cut again and ex keeps saying hes going to transfer money but then he doesnt and i hate waiting for it .
so at the car boot i seen the exact lego set on a table and the lady said 3 quid so i grabbed it quick but the box was all crushed and the tape was peeling so i wasnt sure if it was all there but she said her grandson built it once then never touched it again . i didnt open it til i got in my sisters car and some little bits are missing i think but i dont even know which ones because i dont know what order the bags come in and i cant check it properly because the baby kept throwing things out the box and then my sister said im overthinking it and most kids dont even notice if lego is missing and i should stop panicking over everything all the time .
then later on my oldest said people will know its second hand because the box looks bent and he said his cousins always get brand new toys and that really stung and i started going on about when we grew up we had nothing new ever and now im sat here worrying that other parents at his party will judge or think im tight if he opens it in front of them or he tells someone it was from a car boot . he tells people everything he never keeps things to himself . its stressing me out and its just supposed to be a little birthday thing .
i always try my best but it never feels enough and now im sat wondering if im being awful to wrap a car boot present for an 8th birthday even if its what he actually asked for . sorry if this makes no sense ive barely slept . am i being unreasonable here i really dont want people thinking im a bad mum .