Being made to be the bad guy with brother’s toddler in relation to food in the house

I’m on the fence, when I read your op I thought how awful but the more your posted I thought maybe not. I’d have no issue with a 2 year old being fed some weetabix in bed if they couldn’t sleep, sheets are for washing and a parent was over seeing, and I’d have thrown a throw on the sofa. My sofas are all light, one cream, but it’s washable, and my view is I want guests to feel at home and I don’t want to be sitting stressing about “stuff”. But if it is a real issue, I think it’s best to say the first time, no food to be consumed other than at the table.

Your house your rules. I would be mortified if a child of mine went and sat on a nice new sofa to eat something messy!

I voted YABU because you didn't tell them food is only allowed at the table and definitely NO food upstairs.

It was you OP. Your house, your rules.

All food to be eat at table and no food in the sitting room. No idea why you would rather buy throws than set boundaries.

You should have told them in no uncertain terms that you didn't want their little angel eating on your sofa or in the bed. Eating Weetabix in the bed is gross.

Is the child repeatedly eating by itself? That won't help either if all the fun is happening elsewhere.

Next time, ask them to bring a high chair or just lay your hands on one. We have a plastic Ikea high chair bit like a bar stool that will go from 2 up to about 10 yrs old. No straps but it gets loads of use and stays in the garden at the table there all year around. Dead handy.

I think you will have to treat SIL a bit like a toddler. "No, still no eating on the sofa/bed/floor! Let's have a cup of tea with toddler while he eats. "

simple, your house your rules

next time they stay, the first time they ask, just say, as you know , we don't allow food on the furniture, or upstairs, so no need to keep asking, it's a no every time.

Weetabix in bed? Madness!

I have a toddler and I am super extra careful when we are at anybody else’s house. They are rude and thoughtless! I’ve had friends with toddlers stay with me and nobody has ever asked if their child can eat in their bed or on the sofa either!

Ugh, that must have been annoying. Next time, be clear - we don’t allow any food on the sofa. At all.

So sorry! I misunderstood.

She said no but sil kept as. So annoying

I know exactly how you feel as my sister etc are the same. I just kept repeating that we ate at the table and although there have been some passive aggressive comments over the year, my niece and nephew know that at my house we eat meals or messy food at the table. I do allow things like snacks, popcorn etc on the sofa whilst watching TV etc.

It's a well known thing that you take extra care in other people's houses. My aunt would cover her sofas before my toddler visited and even the dining chair he'd sit in 😆 notnoffended, they're messy. I'd never dream of letting food leave an easily cleanable place, to soft cream sofas!

Actually they as adults are just as bad, e.g. leaving a half eaten apple on the hallway carpet (intended to be eaten later but still messy…).

WHAT?!

That is absolutely minging.

I splashed out and bought a £3k sofa, velvet. Our sofa was so old, saggy and tbh, I have never had a really nice bit of furniture and it has to see me 'out'.

Other half, my lovely messy other half is banned from eating on it, so I think you're totally within reasonable behaviour to not want a 2 year old! 😄

I sympathise OP - I'd feel awkward saying no and being the one to enforce it too - that's shit.

While we are reasonably relaxed and have no problem with teenage DCs and their friends eating on the sofa (ie. we're not a exclusively food at the table / downstairs household like some posters) DCs absolutely always ate at a table aged 2 and well beyond, as did every friend and family member I knew.

Plus, even when ours were of an age where they were allowed snacks in the living room at home, would always assume at a table at somebody else's house unless host actively invites eg. "Kids you can have your ice cream in front of the movie"

So they are being very unreasonable behaving like this in your house imo...

Your home, your rules. It's extremely rude to allow your child to take food and eat it sat anywhere other than the table, whilst in someone else's house. You need to say something, and be firm 'I'm sorry Sarah, but James needs to sit at the table and eat, I don't allow food anywhere else in the house'. If they don't like it tough. Yes, it can be tough making a toddler sit at a table to eat, but it's how they learn table manners! You have to use distraction techniques, and parent! Your SIL can't be bothered, because it's too much hassle.

Any toddler in my house with food is at the table and cleaned before they are allowed down. My house my rules.

You are trying to be a people pleaser, not saying what you want resulting in confusion. As soon as the food is being made just say children’s food is at table only in this house.

I mean, she asked so you had your opportunity to say no.

Loud and forceful, NO FUCKING FOOD ON THE SOFA, KITCHEN ONLY UNLESS YOU WANT TO REPAY THE COST!

Toddlers and young children should be eating at a table. Being distracted by the TV or moving around can be a serious choking risk, look it up. You really want to put your nephew at risk because THREE ADULTS refuse to say no??

Your house your rules.

We eat together at the table when we have guests. Especially the smaller ones who are more messy.