Greedy husband?

He isn’t. This is the ops hangup.

It’s odd that you’re letting him dictate how much you eat. Surely if you’re splitting sl
Something you just do it 50/50 and then if he needs more he adds something else on the side?

Childhood dynamics over food are deep and long-lasting. My DH has some really odd behaviour over food which is replicated in his sister. I do point them out, and he modifies when he's conscious, but then reverts back.

My mum is the same.

The root of all of this is appalling communication on both sides!!
why isn’t he saying ‘I’m starting, I’m probs going to need near enough the full pizza, shall we order two’
and why are you telling him that what he’s leaving you isn’t enough and you’re starving.
sorry to sound harsh but hiding cereal bars rather than having this conversation is crazy! How does he even know you’re hungry if you’re not telling him your needs

Well he probably will eat more than you. Which is fine in itself. But the problem comes when your are sharing food and there isn’t enough of it to go round.

So you need to order enough food for you both to have plenty. No ordering one pizza to share when you know you’ll want more than that between you.

What isn’t ok is that he always eats his fill, and you only got what’s left after that, even if it’s less than you need.

”Oh we’d better get a pizza eat as DH will want more than half” would have been absolutely fine to say!

Or “we’ll get a pizza and and couple of starters” or something

DH eats way more than me, his calorie needs are far greater (on account of his extra height, weight and muscle mass). But if we share a pizza, he'll always only eat half, unless I tell him I don't want all my half. And if either of us were still hungry, we'd order more food.

DH doesn't expect to eat more than me to the point that I'm left without - we are the Victorian poor.

If you look at dietary advice it generally differentiates between male and female calorie needs and men need more. That may depend on a number of factors like weight/size/build and lifestyle/work. However, part of what you're observing here is conflicting attitudes to meals, sharing, entitlement. He's used to getting more and sometimes it's your share and you are not saying you object? Think of practical ways around this situation and talk to your DH.
As for the pizza example, buy separate pizzas or buy a side dish to bulk things out but if he's just eating more than his share on autopilot then tell him half is yours and make him more aware. He needs to order the extra dish to fill his appetite if you can't share a pizza together.

Or just order a meal each.

Half a meal is clearly not enough for OPs husband, so why insist on only ordering one meal for two people?

It's only appropriate to share one meal between two people if both have small appetites, which clearly isn't the case here.

It's odd to call someone eating just 2/3 of an adult meal "greedy".

Who is insisting on ordering less than a meal each? That is where the problem lies.

I was quite surprised as I would say my DH had at least two thirds of the pizza we shared, whilst the other couple split theirs down the middle.
This has made me question the fact that he always takes the lions share of food and I guess I just want to ask if this is the case in other people's relationships?

@Bunchofcoconuts why was it a surprise to you that he had 2/3 of the pizza if he always eats more than you and you are always having to cook more for him? I'd say it's entirely irrelevant what other people do and how much food they require. It's also not about greed. It's not unusual for men to require more food than women even though I wouldn't insist that it applies to all men or all women. It's just not uncommon. Having said this, if you know that your husband always requires more food, it would have been a good idea to order a pizza per person rather than share one between two people and assume that he would have half. If he is used to the fact that you eat always eat less and you agreed to share one pizza, I am not surprised that he didn't think anything of having more than you. I am just not clear why you assumed that he would only have half if he always eats more than you and why you didn't just order enough food for two. You surely know if you can finish one pizza yourself?

Generally I do think the bigger person naturally will eat / want more. My husband’s best friend is 6’7 and he eats double what we do but he’s 100kg of muscle so clearly needs the calories.

My husband does need to eat more than me also. He’s 6ft but a small eater and if we eat the same size meals for a while I gain weight and he loses so clearly he needs more food than me.

However he would never eat so much of my meal that I went hungry… he would always split down the middle and just order more if he wanted it. Even the aforementioned massive mate would offer one of us the last slice before taking it. Because he’s not rude.

If you can afford to I’d just refuse to share food with him and if he complains explain that when you do you don’t get a look in.

From now make sure you get your half and if you are genuinely full your DH can have what you leave. I think you need to be honest with him that he is genuinely leaving you hungry in these situations. It’s not normal to be carrying around snacks because your husband will eat so much dinner that you are left still hungry! He needs told he is first of all being greedy for himself and second of all being controlling towards you. Make a point to eat as much as you bloody like.

And in the restaurant situation screw politeness, if my DH at two thirds of the pizza I would be saying “well I think I shall have a big desert seen as DH gobbled nearly every slice of that! My poor belly thinks my throats been cut!”

We don't share. If we have leftovers the leftovers then become that person's lunch/snack. If it's a cooked meal I make sure there's enough for both appetites and I wouldn't dream of sneaking away to eat a cereal bar of he'd eaten more than his share. He can eat the cereal bar of he's still hungry.

Difficult because DH eats a lot more than me but he’s active and a lot taller so genuinely does need more (he is also not overweight whereas I am!).
So I do give him a larger portion than I give to myself and our DDs at home, and if we shared a pizza it would probably be 2/3 him and 1/3 me - but I would be fine with that because I’d be full and he wouldn’t. I wouldn’t except to go hungry so he could have more though, I’d just tell him to order himself something else or have toast when we got home!

My husband is nearly a foot taller than me, he has a bigger appetite and needs more calories than me. In this scenario we would have ordered a pizza each as it wouldn't be enough for both of us to share one. This way nobody goes hungry.

Men generally eat/need more, yes. But the point is, he shouldn’t be dictating what other people eat.

He’s extremely rude to take a large amount of food if there’s not enough to go round. However in general I would expect a large person to eat more than a small person. In the case of the pizzas I would have ordered one each.

You are each responsible for ensuring you have the correct amount of food. You are not one entity.

In my house we have the same dinner almost exactly. If it’s something like a pizza we would definitely split equally. If it’s a roast he might have a few more spuds (cos I over cook). Otherwise I would expect him to make up the extra calories a man needs (not that much more overall!) but having an extra piece of toast or a bigger snack than me. I absolutely would not expect to be hungry, especially not if eating out and paying for it!!

Any shared food gets split in EXACTLY half between us and we both have the kind of beady eye that makes sure this happens. Only exception is if one of us is genuinely less hungry at that moment. If we're both still hungry we order more food. I can't imagine sharing a pizza with someone who only gave me one-third of it, I'd be so outraged.

I expect DH to eat more than me, after all he's around 20kg heavier.
I had pizza out at the weekend. A full pizza to myself.
I ate 5 out of 8 slices and couldn't eat any more so gave them to him.

sorry that should be from now on he only eats what he orders! I was just going to correct that and I saw it had posted.

How does it "happen all the time?"

Surely it can only happen if you're sharing one meal rather than each ordering your own.

It stands to reason that one meal split between two people is not enough food.

Just order a meal each when you eat out.

I would advise in future both of you order what you want and before you go tell him that from now on he is to only eat the items he eats. My friend cured this by saying if we continue sharing then she would help herself first. Her husband must have known he took too much as he wouldn't go along with that as she told him she was going to take as much as he did from the meal he chose. Now they order their own meals and do not share.

I would advise in future both of you order what you want and before you go tell him that from now on he is to only eat the items he eats. My friend cured this by saying if we continue sharing then she would help herself first. Her husband must have known he took too much as he wouldn't go along with that as she told him she was going to take as much as he did from the meal he chose. Now they order their own meals and do not share.

I think YABU. Why didn't you just order more food and some sides? Its not a big issue just tell your DH to order his own pizza next time. Nothing stopping you from saying this.