Greedy husband?

It makes sense that day-to-day a larger build person will require more calories than a smaller one e.g. tall/broad man vs small woman. However, on the odd occasion that you're sharing a meal, the starting point should be 50/50 with him then being welcome to finish up anything you don't want (or order himself more sides/food if you eat your half and he's still hungry). Very self-centred to take any other approach!

Have you fallen into the habit of quietly going without to make sure he has enough, and it's become in a way 'normal ' for him to just take what he wants? Did you speak up when he took more than half of the pizza? Perhaps a new 'normal' needs to be established via confronting the issue head on every time it happens.

My husband would get his own because he eats more than me. Perhaps start ordering separate meals e.g. a pizza each. You can always ask to take home leftover food. So it would never be wasted.

Totally normal for him to need more food than you, not normal for him not to offer you half. DH always makes sure I have enough food

Generally men need more that women BUT, having 2 extra boiled potatoes or 20g of extra pasta at home is one thing but guzzling through more than half a shared pizza without even asking if you've had enough, is 100% selfish pig territory.

My DH always liked the biggest portion, even when DS was a 6ft tall "always starving" teenager. It took a bit of digging but turns out his Dad was like that with him and his brother, some weird macho man of the house thing. As soon as DH realised he changed and made sure DS had the most as he needed the calories.

It's entirely individual. What isn't good is his entitlement and ignoring what you need. Not every woman is half her husband's bodyweight - it's the other way around in our house!

If I split a pizza with my DP he would eat 2/3 and I would eat 1/3.
But that's what we both want. If I wanted 1/2 then I would eat 1/2.

I don't think your issue is about food. It's about feeling things are not fair.

My Husband eats more than me but in the pizza situation he wouldn't have eaten most of the pizza without offering to me first.
Did he know you wanted it, how did he eat so much of it was he eating much faster than you?

And if we ever leave anywhere hungry we get more food after. Why can't you both have the amount of food that you want to eat?

My husband has a big appetite but I haven't ever felt like this has lead to me being left without enough food to eat.

I think this is on you, to be honest. Unless there’s serious financial constraints, why hasn’t the cooking been adapted so that both are satisfied? As for the pizza, why didn’t you just say “you’ll have most of yours, we’re better off if I order one for myself as well” or instead some appetisers? I’m not entirely sure it’s fair to say he’s greedy if you’re not speaking up, he won’t be a mind reader when it comes to your appetite.

I have the opposite issue, DP thinks I always need the same amounts as him and wants everything 50/50 even though often I just don’t need it, I’m 5’2 and he’s 6’4. He also eats way more with his eyes than his actual mouth so I’m always having to combat food waste.

I'm male, and generally I eat more than DP and DD. I'm also a greedy bugger, and will happily have whatever is left on their plates at the end of a meal out.

But I would never dream of not splitting a pizza 50/50 with DP in the situation you describe @Bunchofcoconuts . If DP said she was done, them I'll eat the last slice, but not before.

I don't think I'd get away with it anyway, I'd get a fork through my hand!

We share a dessert once, early on in our relationship. It was a like a sword fight with our spoons to be honest, never again!

So yes, your husband is being highly unreasonable. But so are you by not saying "Oi, you greedy twat, that's mine" when he goes to take a slice that's not his.

The thing that isn’t ok is when men or anyone with a bigger appetite etc keeps saying “oh surely we don’t need to order that much/ we’ll be fine with x amount” and then proceed to eat more of it than their fair share (as in an equal amount). They might well need more food than the other person but in that case shouldn’t be trying to limit the total amount, intending to take more than the other person.

That’s what my exh was like with Chinese takeaways and the like. He wasn’t even large!

I have a much bigger appetite than dp
If we get something and agree to share it'll be a 50/50 split otherwise we get our own.

My dh has always had a big appetite although he is quite short and of slim build. My brothers are all much bigger and it has become a bit of a family joke that he is a big eater despite his stature. However if we decided to share a pizza we would always split it down the middle, and he would get a side or two if it wasn't enough for him. When he cooks (which isn't often tbf) he would put the same amount on both of our plates. It shouldn't really matter how much your dh eats, as long as you get what you need. If your dh suggests splitting a meal just say no way, you will eat most of it. Does he expect you to eat like a bird?

Or just order a meal each, rather than sharing one.

I think the big issue, as pointed out by PP, is that you pack secret food to make sure you do not go hungry. My DH eats more than me but not at my expense. That is the issue here.

DH and I do generally eat the same size dinner, but reading this thread I really don't know why, as he is a healthy BMI and I'm slightly overweight, so I probably should be having a bit less.

My husband eats more than I do, but when we share food, we automatically assume 50/50 split. What usually ends up happening is that I get full on a 2/3 of my half, and I give him the rest if he wants it; he doesn't always. Do you communicate about the split before eating?

My DH definitely eats more than me, but if we were out sharing something, he would only eat some of my half after I'd finished eating. But if you know your DH has form for this, just stop sharing food with him and order your own.

I don't get why you need cereal bars on holidays. Surely you order a meal each? Or does your husband make you split one, or eat some of yours?

umm why are you going hungry - order the food you need and eat it.

Mr Monkey and I are a similar size but he runs about three to four marathons year and about six half marathons - when he is marathon training he is like pac-man, so he always makes sure he had bananas, bread, crisps, energy bars etc.. in the house to supplement his meals and will order enough we we are out. I always cook a bit more and if he doesn't eat it then it is left overs for lunch.

Maybe the automatic assumption that the pizza will invariably be divided to favour the OP's husband is what is annoying. DP and I often share a pizza. Even though we both know that he will end up eating more of the pizza than me, he always assumes that half of it is mine until I say I'm done and he can go ahead and eat the other slice or slices. If I took a rush of blood to the head and suddenly decided to eat the whole half, then he'd be fine with that. By the way, I don't have a teeny tiny appetite, it's just that I find anything bread based a bit hard to get through, even though I like it. I usually have a load of salad and coleslaw with it.

Should he eat more than you? If he is larger, more active, more muscular, then yes, he needs more calories.
Should you "go without" so that he can have what he needs? No. If you were impoverished (I'm sure you're not), then both should go without equally.

It sounds like you are not standing up for yourself enough, and he is overly standing up for himself. That's the balance you need to redress.

My DH eats at least half as much again as me. He's a foot taller and 5 stone heavier than me. Eating out, he'll sometimes order an additional side or sometimes I'll tell him he can have mine (eg I'll order chips as they're included but I won't be able to eat a large side alongside the main).

He'd never assume he could have my side though. Some places we eat at the portions are very generous so it makes sense for his appetite and my waistline to do this. Sounds like you need to advocate for yourself though OP.

If I was out for a meal with DH and we decided to share an item (whether that's pizza or anything else), I'd expect to have half each unless one person says to the other "I'm full - you finish it".

In future order your own meals rather than sharing them and tell DH to assume you will eat everything that you order for yourself.
DH does eat more than me, so currently on holiday and he has ordered a starter and main whereas I am just having a main.

Next time, cut the pizza in half and put it on your own plate. He can order a dessert, or a side to go with the pizza. You are doing yourself down.