Greedy husband?

My husband does eat more and I give him more when I plate as I know how much I want, but he would never dream of finishing something shared unless he'd checked if I wanted more, and if he plates up he will give equal portions and leave some for seconds that again he checks if I want first.

He shouldn't be snatching from your portion. If he needs extra calories he should order some bread (but not with a pizza) or a side order of something.

At home he could have more potatoes.

The fact the op says she’s come to accept this and he always says it means this is a running theme, where they don’t have enough food and he takes the lions share, and she now even smuggles snack bars as she will be hungry,

they need to eat to their budget, and if it means they can’t afford sufficient food they should not be out for food, or should eat before hand, maybe a sandwich’s to fill them up, and if it’s also at home, then they need to look at cheaper food options.

ive never read anything like this and ive read some crappy stuff on here, genuinely my husband has never uttered those words to me, I doubt they’d even cross his mind, and I’ve never heard it in friends, family etc either,

really what happened here, is he ordered a pizza and allowed her a little bit.

@Bunchofcoconuts to be honest, I also don't get that. Are you struggling financially?

Sharing a pizza is not an issue if there is enough to split but I would expect 50/50. He would only have more if i was full and I offered the rest and vice versa. Does he control other aspects of your life and do you ever stand up to him?

This is exactly how it should be. It’s just basic care for your partner and politeness. OP’s DH is greedy and rude. Scoffing all he can before even checking how hungry his DW may be.

The dietary difference between men and women does not indicate double portions for men. This also depends highly on what each person is putting out calorie wise, which we have no indication of. A man sitting in an office all day will need less calories than a woman on her feet all day and carrying things.

What matters here is that OP is left hungry and somewhere along the line she lost her voice. She is eating in secret rather than vocally saying no - I will have my share. Maybe if DH is still hungry after his equal share he should be the one snacking on cereal bars.

I am a small woman, my husband is a large man. If we share a pizza he will eat his half then if I offer him more because I don’t want all of it (which usually happens). He’ll say for me to wait until I’ve finished and then he will have leftovers to make sure I definitely have enough food. He would never assume that he gets more even though for the last 10 years he always has.

Um she’s packing them for herself as he eats her food.

How do you even get to a situation where he says he needs more than you. Those are words my husband has genuinely never uttered to me in 3 decades together.

are you skint and arguing over food? I can’t perceive a situation other than that, where he has to tell you he needs more, as otherwise it would never ever come up.

The general guidelines is that men need 500 calories per day more than women, but it varies based on a number of things. I think it's expected for your husband to eat more than you but I'm not sure why that's your problem. Why are you carrying cereal bars for him like he's a child? If he gets hungry he can pack the bars for himself. And if he agrees to share a pizza, you share it and he can get bread on the side if he wants more food, he doesn't get to eat your food unless you don't want it.

My late OH was on medication that massively sped up his metabolism. He wasn't a big guy to start with but by the end he could lose weight eating 4000 calories a day.

He still split all communal food 50/50 with me. If we had a pair of steaks for dinner he'd always give me the bigger one too.

Once I was fully finished eating what I wanted, he'd polish off my plate too, but I never went without just so he could have more. He'd top up with extra snacks and meals on top of what I ate too but always offered me some even knowing I'd turn it down.

Even when partners really do need more there are much better ways to go about it than just expecting to have the best of everything. Your partner is being quite selfish. Nobody should be going hungry by default to please someone else.

He needs more food than you, yes quite possibly, and nothing wrong with that, but why on earth does this translate to you going hungry and eating cereal bars secretly?! There's not a finite among you're allowed to eat between you.

Unless he is controlling over what you eat, in which case kick him to the fucking kerb.

How very odd. It’s not just a you problem, it’s a both of you problem. My husband, like most blokes, share equally, and if there was a slice left, whuch was supposed to be mine, he’d ask and make sure I didn’t want it before having it, if he ate half before I had ate half, he’d stop.

how did you get to a position where you have secret food stashes as you can be left hungry as your husband eats your share.

I think it’s rude of him.

XH is 6”8 and muscley. He would eat much more than me at mealtimes but if we ever went out and were sharing food, he would always insist on me having half.

My DP eats more than me and I've always had a small appetite. However, if we share food, DP eats his half and waits until I'm done to eat more. Your DP sounds very entitled and he shouldn't be eating so much of the shared food that you're left hungry. Perhaps the way forward is ordering your own meals

I think the mistake you are making here is thinking about the amount he eats (x) in terms of the amount you eat (y) i.e. that x>y regardless of individual amounts. Whereas in reality, x and y are entirely independent variables and should just always equal the amount you want or need to eat at a given time.

Unless he's always nicking your food, in which case, tell him to fuck off

Exactly!

FWIW, in our house we have a petite size 6 woman and a muscular but slightly overweight man. Guess what, we eat the same amount and DH is the one who tends to put on weight. It’s all about metabolism! A taller / larger person doesn’t necessarily need significantly more food.

His needing to eat more than a normal share shouldn't result in you having to eat less

This is solved by saying 'oh you greedy twat that's my slice of pizza.' You shouldn't be smuggling energy bars around in your handbag, that is insane!

Men generally eat more calories than women but if you find this an issue, why share? Get your own food! It isn’t a big deal

You definitely need to speak up. It sounds like his upbringing has led to him snaffling as much as he can.
My dh tried it once. We were getting MacDonalds. Told me to only get one fries because he didn't want many 🙄 so I got two and told him i wanted all mine.

I don't understand how this has become an issue? You know he has form for this, so why do you share food with him. Just let him order whatever he wants and you order whatever you want. Don't bother sharing.

That's exactly it. DH is bigger than me and needs more food but he doesn't need my food! I'll tend to give him larger portions but treats like steak we'd go 50/50, he certainly wouldn't expect (or get!) half of my steak for instance.

I eat larger portions than my DP at meals but he tends to eat more through the day because he snacks. If we’re out for dinner and we share something we go halfy halfys! I would stab him with my fork if he tried to take more than half! But honestly, I never understand why couples don’t talk about these things. The fact that you are bringing cereal bars with you so you don’t go hungry is unacceptable. Has he not noticed? Does he not care about you?